Hi Ashley. Four months is great!! When I was just coming back, I offered to help a woman make coffee at my home group. She has since become one of my best friends!

I do hang around afterwards and chit chat with the ladies. Sometimes I'll just talk to someone about what they shared or vice versa. I also volunteer for different AA commitments and have gotten to know people from all over my county. Yeah, I was scared shitless at first!! !But, it was suggested I do things differently. That's what I have been doing and it is paying off.

Even if you just hang around to help clean up, or go early to help set up, you will start to feel a part of.

All the best. :-)

~Chris

And I am so sorry about your cat. I have two who are my babies, and would be heartbroken as well.

Yeah, I have to start doing something....going early was suggested to me and I need to start doing it!!!

Thank you!

Ashley,
You're not looking at the bright side. You should be extremely proud of yourself. Yes, you were very close, but you DIDN'T drink.
I'm so sorry about your cat. It's been 23 years since my Gabbi died and I still miss her and can't bear to get another one. I know the pain....
Ya done good, girl. Ya done good.
And 4 months for you??!!! Wow, that is just wonderful. I remember back a couple years ago.................
Katie

I understand the intense grief one goes through when a pet dies. My cat died at 18 years of age and I cried and felt the pain for months. I still think of her every day. Give yourself permission to grieve, congratulations on your 4 months. You get to pick who you want to talk to, if anyone. I don't care what people think of me and it takes me a long time to become friends. Some of us are introverts and often get a bad rap, "Don't isolate," they say. Well, as an artist I work alone, so do writers. Oscar Wilde said the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

It was a God-shot in my opinion for you at the store with no wallet. There are many emotions involoved in the grief process. I can only deal with today. It takes as long as it takes. Get plenty of rest. People will appear when it's time. Not everybody will like us and I don't care. If you are rejected it says more about the other person, than it says about you. ((hugs))

thank you katie! Yeah, I am pretty grateful that I didnt drink last night! Oh today would have been ten times harder!!!!! It feels good that others can rlate because I do feel silly being so upset over a cat, or my baby and some people dont understand. Sorry about yours too....

and yes, a couple years ago I was a mess( or even more of a mess)!! LOL

Thanks Katie

thanks mirto! That helps too....I may not make a ton of friends but the ones I do make are usually the real thing!! I am an introvert too and I do need to accept that too....it takes what it takes for me to get comfortable!

Yes, I also think God was taking great care of you with all of the difficulties w/buying the alcohol, yep. I am still trying to open up to people myself, especially women. We have to keep trying. I have lost a few pets also, and it hurts terribly. I think it was timed that way on purpose though, b/c maybe if you can get through something like that and stay sober, then you will always stay sober, I dk. Keep hanging in there. What my sponsor always tells me is to pray for God to take away the obsession to drink (or whatever), and to direct my thoughts. He will do it. I learned that not only do you have to take it one day at a time w/not drinking, but for me, I have to take it one day at a time with trusting God. Eventually, maybe I will be able to trust people, God will help me, if I trust Him first. Does this make sense? I hope it helps.

I agree with everyone on here that you should be very proud. Four months is a great success! And you're right that you would have felt much worse if you drank

I also just wanted to say that anyone who doesn't understand why you would be upset over a kitty is (I think) lacking in some way. Animals are just as valuable as humans (if not more so in lots of ways!) and I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had pet mice and when one of them died from cancer I got laughed at for being upset! I told the guy to go F*** himself and to think before he opens his mouth, because maybe he doesn't appreciate living creatures, but I sure do, and family is family no matter what size or how fuzzy they are!

I also understand your fear of being talked about, or rejected. I feel the same. It actually ends up with a lot of people thinking I'm very extroverted, though, because I force myself to seem "confident" and "outgoing" and sociable, when inside I'm watching everything I say and shaking like a leaf!

As for making friends, it can be hard I know, but do you have some hobbies or anything you are passionate about? I don't know how you would go, but when I was young I did drama classes. I started because I had no confidence and after a while I had confidence! I also made friends AND discovered a love for theatre. (this was before my life went waaay downhill. but I plan on starting a drama class again as soon as I get to my home country) Maybe drama isn't for you, but maybe you like sports, or knitting, or singing in a choir, or anything else!
You mentioned god so maybe you could find a church group that has social activities?
Or maybe doing some volunteer work could even help, becasue then, not only are you helping people, but you don't even have to act like you are there for any other reason than to help people, and then maybe you can start to develop some friendships without even seeming like that's what you are "trying" to do? These are just random suggestions but maybe you could think along those lines.

Anyway, I think it's a very positive sign that you are talking about learning from it, and not wanting to drink today. That shows a great level of insight!
Once again I'm sorry for your loss and I completely understand your heartache. My thoughts and love are with you.

sounds like God had your wallet. Glad you made it, now you are that much stronger!

AnotherBad....WOW....if I was w/you when they said that to you about your mouse, I probably would have helped you strangle him (jk, of course)...well...if I was still drinking I would have at least ripped him a new one! I had to take one of my daughter's hamsters to the vet every week and get his fluid drained b/c he had liver cancer, yep. People thought I was crazy! God gave us animals for a huge reason. They love us always and unconditionally, and w/o words, and we can do the same w/them.

Oh Ashley!

I love my cats so much, I empathize. It's going to take abit of time....I can finally remember and talk about my Uber kitty.

My cats are inside cats, but in the night he broke thru above the air conditioner in the window. I knew, I just knew....I walked to where I could see the street. I was all alone...my son was gone for a few days.
no more, can't take it yet..

I feel so bad for you. I had delivered him and his sister is prowling under my feet now.
I waited about a week...I found a no-kill facility for cats. I volunteer there now.....and I found Miss Ellie to join my family. I t did help, I talk thru out the day to mine.

enough, I'm gonna cry

time
time

So very sorry ((HUGS) (HUG)

Pat

Pat, I know the pain you have, also. I have astory about a cat that I can't think about without breaking down. Even as I type these words I have to "go numb" to type them and not think about it :( *hugs* to you Pat!
And hopenGod, Yeah, it was so cruel! Let's just say he mentioned "snake food" and laughed and I went off my head at him and went around the corner and cried and cried! I , too, took my little mousy to the vet a couple times ( I had to borrow money to do it, but I wouldn't not help him!)
And you are such a caring person to do that for the little hampstie. Poor little fella, BUT lucky little fella at the same time, to be loved so much!
I completely agree about animals. They have the purest of hearts and the best kind of love there is :)
I'm shedding a bit of a bittersweet tear now.
Oh Ahsley, see? We know what it's like to love an animal and we totally understand the pain you must be feeling. Hang in there okay? And be proud of yourself!

I've had several "coincidences" where I had to start asking the question "Is it odd or is it God".

Sorry about your kitty. I've got 2 at home that have taken the place of our grown kids. I don't know what I would do if we lost one.

Congtatulations on your four months. Don't beat yourself up for nearly drinking. Dosn't God work in mysterious ways, forgetting your purse. I have been going in and out of AA for nine years. I talk to loads of woman but havn't met a real friend yet.