I remember when I reached my rock bottom....Long story short, the police were involved and I had my choice of detox or jail so I took detox. That was the first day of the rest of my life! I had to be ready to do everything it took to get sober because, I had no other choice. I had no where to go, no job, my wife was divorcing me and I didn't want to live anymore.

I spent 4 days in detox followed by a 3 week outpatient program where I was treated for the underlying issues that triggered my addictions and this was followed by 3 months of counseling.

Throughout all the therapy I had, regular attendance at AA meetings were a requirement. I got a sponsor and did the steps and things began to change for the better for me. I got a new job I really liked, I had money coming from places I never expected, and my relationships improved!

This was all 11 years ago. Today, I have a great life and I have never been happier. My story is one of many similar stories you would hear at AA meetings so I highly recommend attending one.

If you have emotional problems triggering you, it's best to see your doctor first, who can do an assessment on you and discuss treatment options with you. My doctor gave me antidepressant medication which I no longer take but I really needed it in the early stages of my sobriety.

So in summery, welcome to the group! Statistically, those who have a plan to quit, tend to do better at staying sober. By a plan, I mean either, AA meetings or outpatient treatment or substance abuse counseling or any combination of these. All of it helps to varying degrees. Different things work for different people so if one doesn't seem to help you then try something else.

I hope you are serious about quitting because addiction is like being on a one way train ride that's guaranteed to crash at the end of the line.

Get to know the people here because they can show you how they stayed sober and their stories are inspirational.

God Bless

I was a death rattle in 2012. I drank all day and most of the night. I woke up the next day and woke up and was so down I left the house and didn’t want to return. I drove around all day and then looked on google for an aa meeting. I went to an 8 PM meeting and haven’t had another drink for over 6 years.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. I couldn’t get and stay sober on my own. I just didn’t have the coping skills. They needed to be learned.

1is2many

I'm so sorry you're going through this :( have you tried going to see a therapist? Its not that all of your problems will go away once you see a therapist but it may help to have some one trust worthy and knowledgeable about your situation that you can openly express your self and let out all that gunk inside of you. Plus they'll work with you to find the root cause of your drinking problems and healthier ways to cope with some thing or some one triggers you. If you absolutely can not see a therapist than I'd say for the sake of your marriage and children give your self a few hours or a whole day for you to just relax, read through self help books, breath in good air maybe at the beach or lake . This is especially important when you have a "flare"

My first day of recovery began with a simple question from my sponsor.....have you had enough yet? Well, have you had enough yet deathrattle?

It's not a matter of who around you is willing to help and support you...It's a matter of when will you be willing to accept alcohol is destroying your life and become willing to help and support yourself?

Towards the end of my drinking, I had no one telling me to seek help. But I also had no stable friends, no relationship that could last, and a pretty shaky relationship with my family. No one around me had the energy to deal with my drinking.

It took a suicide attempt in order for me to see that alcohol was going to kill me one way or another. That was after a month of other close calls with other drunks.

For myself, AA was the cheapest and easiest option for me. And I put myself into the program head and heart first. Yes, I was miserable and felt as though I didn't belong for a while. And felt like there was no one I could turn to for help. But the reality was, I had to get over myself and my ego and accept what was being offered.

Getting sober first, for myself, allowed the people around me to see how serious I was about the change. I didn't love myself before, and I've never carried myself in a way that would show I do. Now, I have confidence and pride in the right choices. I smile. I can show genuine love and care. And I put myself head and heart first into life, like I did the program.

Now people come back to me on their own time, and I make the amends as needed. Some relationships are still rocky, because I know that I can't take abuse in order to fix stuff. But I have a new strength to determine the difference. My life is incredible now.

I wish you the best of luck. We are always here for you.

Thank you everyone! Your words are so helpful to me. I didn’t drink yesterday but was in a bad place all day from the night before. Today I am clearer in my mind and feel more hopeful. Unfortunately my husband is so mad at me that understandably has very little interest in being supportive right now. I just need to give things some time and focus on myself (though it seems selfish, especially from his perspective.)
Just going to try and believe in myself and stay busy and positive.

I am also in a bad place, I understand how lonely that feels. It is true that others can't help us, we have to want to help ourselves, but it is so hard to get going in the right direction when we are hurting so badly. I am also just so embarrassed, I just want to hide my problems from other people, it's a downward spiral. I did find aa meeting locations today and made several phone calls but have not gotten any appointments scheduled with a therapist yet. I feel so scared about coming clean with my problem in public. I don't like people talking about me as it is, giving them ammunition just seems like a bad idea. It does help to know we are not alone though, and the online community allows for support with anonymity.

Keep checking back in with us and let us know how you are doing.

In the meantime, we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

God Bless

Death rattle and Jenn, I’m sorry you are going through a tough time. Unfortunately the only person that can solve this is the same person who is responsible - you.

The greatest thing I ever did was walking to an AA meeting. I was in my city and petrified of finding out my secret. Unfortunately, it wasn’t much of a secret.

Anyone who had been around me when alcohol was around saw my overindulgence.

That room of clean alcoholics was the best thing for me. They are family. Nobody who wasn’t an alcoholic could solve the riddle that was me.

Do you know how good it feels to hear person after person speak in a meeting, and you say to yourself, “holy shit, I’ve done that or I’ve said that or I’ve felt that?” It’s liberating to be around people that have the same disease. These people overcame it. There’s no better room to be in, than the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In these years, I’ve seen people I know come in and it’s like a reunion. I have old friends and old co workers I didt know was alcoholic that I now have as support. Some of them I hadnt talked to in decades.

Don’t hide behind anonymity online or worry about your husbands. Fix yourself and others will love you again.

deathrattle and jenn, I am so sorry to hear about how bad you two have been feeling. I have been there myself. I think that everybody has given you great advice about AA, counseling and self-care. You can choose which tools are best for you. I do agree that you need some kind of support system just to help with your family situation. If you continue under that kind of stress, that definitely undermines any attempts at sobriety. One thing, is that "coming clean" about your problems is not shameful or embarrassing. In fact, I found just the opposite -- it was freeing and liberating and I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. (People already probably know you are struggling.) The important thing is that you are not alone. Please let us know how both of you are doing. HUGS!

I am so impressed with the perfect advice above. What more can I add? I struggle with anxiety but it’s becoming so much better every day that I live a sober lifestyle. When I was drinking I was a lost cause. I had lost touch with myself and my wife. Just going through the motions and not living in the present. Because of fear. ‘Fear keeps our spirit from finding its way’: Gandi. To pull your life together is going to take focus and practice. Face this fact bravely and you will feel better. Have patience with yourself. You can only heal yourself and your life one day at a time. Tell your family this. Make a plan with yourself right now that you will accept change. You aren’t your past when you don’t repeat past behavior. You can create who you are in this very instant. These choices are now and are what will determine the next choice. And so on. Don’t overwhelm yourself with all of it. Just start with one good thought. Bests