Hello Kate,

This is only a temporary setback, providing that you learn from it.

Take a look at what you have been doing so far and if it has not been working, try something else. Alcoholics Anonymous is a great place to get help, and if AA is not to your liking, I have listed seven alternatives to AA in another post.

The bottom line is that countless people have struggled and relapsed but with the right help, they have gone on to have complete success. You can do it too.

the important thing is you are back in the bus. Very normal to think Oh I feel so much better and so Im better and can drink one or two. But I would always need more. Once I start, its on. So today I choose not to get started. What is the plan to STAY sober. I quit a million times. but the thing was I needed to change my inner self worth and auttitude. I drank to escape from me. I would quit drinking and I was stuck with me still.. now I try to like myself and not need to leave me. GL and keep in action. the minute you let a thought say ... maybe this time WILL be different. I will not climb back inside a bottle... I will pass this time.. and day by day things get better
1is2many

I remember relapsing hundreds of times while trying to quit with will power alone. The changing force in my life came as a result of the treatment I received immediately following the IOP I attended. My counselors felt I needed additional treatment in order to concentrate on my tendancy to relapse repeatedly, so I was refered to group therapy counseling to focus on relapse prevention.

One of the first things I learned was that there is a big difference between a slip and a full blown relapse. In a relapse, you have no clue what triggered your drinking and you don't care, but with a slip, you take a drink and you realize you made a mistake. You figure out what triggered the slip and you come up with a plan so it doesn't happen again!

Each of those in my group went over all of our triggers and came up with plans on how to deal with them. It was awesome and we covered everything we could think of. I remember one person worked as a bar tender and she thought she could stay sober while mixing drinks for others, all day long. So the counselors came up with a plan to see just how strong her will power was as we did some play acting with her. Long story short, she was in tears as she realized she could not handle being sober and being near alcohol at the same time. She eventually quit her job and got another one as a waitress in a restaurant that didn't serve alcohol. Last time I saw her, she was still sober, doing great and loving life!

When I began the IOP, I was at a low point in my life where I was willing to do anything and everything I could to stay sober and I jumped right into the lessons with reckless abandon, as I knew my life depended on it. That was the approach I had. My thinking was, without help, I won't stay sober so this awful disease will eventually kill me like it did my mother and so many other people I know. Out of the tragedy of others came a new idea, a new approach to living a life I could be proud of instead of others helplessly watching me commit a slow suicide with the bottle.

That was 9 years ago and today I am happier then I have ever been and I wish the same for you.

God Bless

Hope you're feeling better this evening. When I relapsed earlier this year, I used the shame and disappointment to fuel my new recovery effort which is at 35 days today. So please don't get too down. Recovery is hard stuff and sometimes our failures are what inspire to our successes. So learn from the trigger or circumstance that lead to your relapse last night and let's start again. You can do this!!!

Kate sorry to hear about that. Don’t be discouraged as an old proverbs said it once, “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.” (Proverbs 24:16)

One of the first question I perhaps may have is do you have a support group network in place to walk through this with you? Not just social friends or family, but an actual group such as AA? That will be helpful for you to have and they can navigate and walk through this with you.

Also, I think it’s important here to look back and see what happened and come up with a game plan. What were some triggers, what were somethings that lead up to it, what are something that could have been done better?

Be encouraged. You’re not alone and the good news is, there are many people who have came out the other side of the tunnel. You can too! Praying for you.

Hi Kate,

One thing for sure is that you should not beat yourself up about this, you can't change it - its happened but what you can do is learn from it.

Ask yourself why you relapsed. Did you're booze brain convince you that you are now better having been sober for a full month and therefore you couldn't be alcoholic or indeed on the way to becoming alcoholic? Or was it something else? Only you know the answer to those questions but you need to be honest with your answer.

I was 12 months sober, I had and still do have a support network but I still managed to relapse on two single occasions - on both after mornings I felt dreadful. I also saw the pain in my daughters eyes.....

For me I was at a low ebb. I was also in situations where booze was at the core and I thought I could cope being around it - obviously not! My group of friends are all drinkers and they fail to accept that I have a problem with alcohol and it is their opinion that I should purely slow down. They didn't and still don't accept that after that first drink my body craves more until it becomes gannetry.

At the time of my relapse my friends were telling me to enjoy myself etc. Mentally I was too weak and in a switch of a button I became powerless again. What I now see is that my friends were probably trying to convince me to drink to take away the focus from them, from their own drinking habits and behaviour.

I'm not saying my friends or the social events that I was are to "blame" for my relapses, no not at all. My friends are just ignorant to the illness of alcoholism and I thought I had travelled further along my journey to sobriety than I obviously had.... I don't think I had yet found peace.

I have forgiven myself for my relapses as it is right that you should forgive yourself and move forward. One day at a time.

After my relapses I extended my support network, I am now attending meetings and sessions (not AA but an alternative). In a short space of time since attending meetings I have learned to believe in myself, to like the person looking back in the mirror and find peace. These are all things that I wish for you.

Take care Kate. Much love.

I saw a photo and thought the words were apt, I don't know how to upload photos on here so I'll type the words instead.

"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us".

xx

Please don't think you messed up. I know for myself, black-and-white thinking fuels self-loathing, which fuels addiction. You drank, that's all. You can choose to stop drinking again -- it's all in your power. I've been cutting waaaay down on drinking this past month. I can't say I'm totally sober because I drank about three days in that month. But it's better than every day! And when I give into my addiction, I forgive myself the next day. It's still a different and healthier path than when I used to think, "I am helpless with alcohol, I HAVE to drink every day." Now I say I can spend most of my life sober, and hopefully the days that I feel the need to drink become less and less.

Best of luck in your next phase of sobriety!

Kate it happens. But what will you do different this time? Hopefully you will check out an AA meeting.

I suggest mindful meditation. It helped me. I was having continual relapses, until I started meditating and changing my life. For me the relapses occurred when I wasn't taking care of things. I was seeking an escape rather than facing life.