I got sober with the help of AA and have remained sober for 14+ plus years. I was 38yo when my drinking was more painful than the thought for facing my issues and the demons that "caused" me to drink.

AA isn't the only way, there are many programs - secular, non-secular, medically-supervised, etc - that lead the way to successful sobriety. Find the program/method that you feel comfortable with and commit to sobriety.

P.S. - even though sobriety is an "inside job", most of us needed "outside help."

Your post wasn’t long at all. Even if it was it would be ok. I have gotten some very good advice here. And I know that admitting that alcohol is a problem is the only way forward. Looking back I am amazed that I was so involved with it. Because it’s really not THAT great. I guess when I was in it , it must have been, because it seemed pretty important at the time. More important than my health and well being, more important than being a responsible driver, more important than being a present, caring husband and father. You know what’s important to me now? Waking up every day and thinking positive thoughts and giving thanks that I am getting my soul back. Seeing that second chances are real. Trade that for a drink? Nope. You took a great first step. I’m a beginner recovering alcoholic. But I would say that a physical and your doctors advice is the next step. I know it’s embarrassing but it’s confidential. And keeping yourself sober one minute at a time. Is your new full time job. Try not to get fired. If you do, apply again. And again. The will is soft when we let ourselves down. There haven’t been any short cuts to making it stronger that I have found. The best results are taking it day by day and building up strength by simple practice. Believe that you are worth the effort. Believe that you can make the effort a reality. Bests

You will be surprised but your doctor will be the first one to give you the support you so badly need! The last thing a doctor wants to do is to discipline and shame, a problem drinker who confesses to being an alcoholic who has a desire to quit. When I told my own doctor, she got up off her chair, dropped her papers and walked over to me and shook my hand! She made me feel like we were a team in my recovery. She did a complete liver analysis and she talked about treatment options with me. Using fear as an excuse to stay away from getting help is an ego trap.

You don't have to tell anyone about your addiction. In the USA, Privacy laws are so strict that records are locked up like the gold in fort knox. I'll never forget when I was in detox, I got in there through the emergency room. My wife did not know if I got transferred or not and since it was late at night by the time they admitted me, I asked to stop the intake until the morning because I was so tired and still pretty drunk so the nurse agreed. My wife called detox and wanted to know if I was there but one of the forms we hadn't got to yet was the one asking who the hospital could give my medical information to, so everytime she called, she got the same answer, "I can't tell you if he is a patient here and I can't tell you if he isn't a patient here." My wife was so irate that she called the CEO of the hospital who was on vacation out of state!, So the CEO calls the detox nurse who explained the situation and the ceo asked me to please call my wife and make the problem go away, so I did.. This happened over 10 years ago and we laugh about that now but it wasn't funny back then.

Go see your doctor and tell your doctor the truth but tell your family it is a checkup. You won't be lying. Nobody will know but your doctor and you and you won't be pressured,

Keep us posted. The path you take on your road to recovery might help someone else. You never know who reads these. :-)

God Bless

Alcohol is a drug. I was addicted. I tried a million times to quit and a million times I failed. It is like trying to lift yourself up by your bootstraps. It is just going to exhaust you. I needed a hand to help me out of the hole. I found a way to stop drinking on June 10, 2012 when I went to a room of aa. Saved my life because I was having back pains and my liver was a mess. I believe I would be dead if I didn’t find a way out.
1is2many

Alcohol is a drug, highly addictive. Somehow you gotta get into action, gotta find a replacement.

As usual, all of the advice, above, is wise and true. Congratulations on having the badass courage to put this out there for our consideration.

You wrote, "...I have a special needs son and know that I need to get healthy to be there for him..." Yes....but.....

You need to get healthy for you! Your son will benefit greatly, but it is totally cool for this to be about you. You can shed the shame, and self-loathing and the internal double-life....not to mention feeling considerably better physically. The silver lining is the improved emotional clarity that many of us have found. You'll still have mountains of problems and burdens - but they will be better ones and easier to handle.

The double-barreled approach of putting the proverbial cards on the table with a physician then hitting AA for support and learning worked for me (and a great many others).

may the force be with you

I just reach 2 months, and I'm doing well. I can only add that it is worth the work to give up drinking. It gets easier, and the benefits outweigh the costs. It's hard sometimes. I grasp onto my "coin" (AA 1 month sobriety coin) sometimes, when the temptation to be sipping wine with my friends hits me. But mostly I'm doing well. This site helps. Lots of good peeps and good advice.

Agree. Walk into an AA meeting. Every single person there was a newcomer.