Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
This is my first time posting in this forum but I really don't know where else to go. I have been seeing an alcoholic through a treatment program. I told him I would stick by him if he would go through an in house 1 year program. It has been 90 days so far. The problem is he has lied to me and I just found out. It really is something little, but it didn't ever even need to be. Now that I have discovered this, I feel like 'if he will lie/ be deceptive about something this minor, what will he do with something big? I don't know how to end it with this guy. Do I tell him what I found out or do I just end it? I know he will try to explain and apologize to convince me not to break up with him. His mom is very active in his recovery/ supportive. She and I get along well. Should I involve her in this, since she will be his only support? He knows where I live so I am kind of worried about that as well. Any advice is appreciated, any questions I will answer.
Thanks, curly
Thanks, curly
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Whatever is going on only you know all the facts and, whether you stick by him or not, you will not affect the outcome of his recovery if he is serious about it. Look after yourself and seek advice from the authorities on staying safe if you need to.
you wrote how do I end it with this guy? Have you already made your decision and trying to justify it?
I agree, if he's the one stay, try and understand and aid his recovery (extremely hard for partners of alcoholics), if your intimidated you need to tell people or the authorities about your concerns FIRST.
Middle ground may be a break until he sorts himself, say you can't deal with, you've enough on your plate, be honest. May speed his recovery if he feels the same about you. Bit of tough love, worked for me. Take care.
Hugs,
Dennis
Alcoholic or not, unfortunately, a lot of partners lie. You should want to be with him because of him. His battle with alcohol shouldn't be a factor. I'd ask him about the lie first, and give him the benefit of the doubt. You can't be worried about bigger lies that haven't happened yet.
At any rate, do what you gotta do. Please don't involve his mom in this. He doesn't need the pressure while he's fighting for his life. The alcoholism is alive and well within him with only 3 months sober.
Try to stay in today. You don't know if he will lie again or if there will ever be a big lie. If you plan on being with him after all, I would strongly suggest Al-Anon for you.
Another confusing statement. If it's a small lie, why do you worry that he knows where you live?
The mood swings, inability to go anywhere there wasn't liquor, always tired, couldn't keep a schedule or go on day trips, etc. You seem to be on your own so you can be a friend to this man but keep your boundaries. Let him heal. You have far more energy than he and that in itself will cause problems in a relationship.
Through drinking and drugging, I was suppressing negative feelings, which prevented me from growing. I still consider myself a little immature for my age, but at least I know where to go now for support when things get bad. Any local AA meeting!
God Bless!