JB there's nothing wrong with putting yourself first. By being a sober Mom & Wife you're actually helping your family in addition to yourself =) Best of luck with surgery & recoevery =)

JustBeth, there comes a time in all of our lives that we have to put ourselves first. I have known that for a long time but could never actually put it in practice.

Such a habit of thinking about someone else, and also feeling the manipulation from the other people to put them first. I am trying desperately to put myself, my welfare, my well-being, first and foremost in my mind. There will be nothing left of me if I don't put ME first.

God, it hurts so bad. Guess it is just part of my sickness.

If we take care of ourselves, we will be better able to give and take care of others. With 6 kids and now a dozen grandkids I don't always do that ether, but I think they all suffer for it=(
Praying for a successful surgery and fast recovery for you!

When you put yourself first, as in love, support and appreciate who you are, you are then more available to provide the same for others :)

I put myself first in a huge way when drinking actively. I mean I deserved to drink right? Wasnt hurting anyone etc. etc.
That was a very selfish load of crap.
Now though I have to listen to my actual needs, vs my wants. I try not to put my wants first...I try to put doing the next right thing first. I also put my needs, as in health, rest, well being right up there with my family's> tha'ts new for me and it has helped make me a better mom, friend, wife, coworker, etc.

G'Day Beth.
I pray when it is time for you to have surgery that all goes well and that your recovery from it is speedy and a complete success.

And as far as putting yourself first some may not agree some may think it selfish but we are not responsible for what others think of us only responsible for what we think of us.

And something I believe in ."People that matter don't mind ,and people that mind don't matter."

And like you , that in order to be a good (and sober) father husband and son I needed to put myself first and it was hard in the beginning but as I got well others where able to do there thing and get well to.Now that's another long story.

And how true in my life anyway "If mom's not happy no one's happy."
but these days I don't need to drink over it.And that most of the time I didn't cause it.LOL

And one month sober wow that equals

30=Days
737=Hours
5513=Continious Playings of "Stairway To Heaven"
32794=Continious Nascar Laps at Daytona
44273=Minutes
774909=Breaths
2656390=Seconds
3320488=Heartbeats
I bet you didn't now that.lol
God Bless...

Lionel

I like the philosophy - put yourself first but never at the expense of other people, put other people first but never at the expense of yourself.

I also love what sticky wick said about needs vs wants. I need to look after my needs but it is wrong to selfishly pursue my wants at the expense of the needs of others.

Good luck with surgery and I hope you are not in too much pain whilst waiting.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer and the treatment I decided upon was a bi-lateral mastectomy. I asked the doctor to write me up for analgesia but asked that I wasn't routinely given any. Obviously that is probably not something you will be able to do. I felt so relaxed and trusted in my HP, I said the serenity prayer as I was wheeled into the ante room to be anaesthetised. I felt so at peace.
When I work up in the ward, I had no pain and never did at all, I am convinced that this was due to my relaxed state when I had the surgery done.
I hope that all goes well for you. I agree with Nicky's post too. We will be thinking about you.