Well, the book Alcoholics Anonymous says that if when you drink you can't always control it, or if you want to quit drinking you can't stay quit, you are probably alcoholic. See page 44. But it is for you to decide that because it really doesn't matter what someone else decides except of course if it is a judge or someone who might take your child away like family protection. In my experience those alcoholics who have the best shot at recovery surrender to the fact that they are alcoholic and that they can't get better on their own, they ask for help. My obsession to drink was removed through AA program which is simple but not easy and I needed a good sponsor to hold me accountable and make sure I did the work. If one is really alcoholic you probably don't know the truth because alcoholism distorts our perception of reality. It is a hideous disease because it can make a mother ignore the child that she loves above everything else. The good news is that you can recover but I had to make it the top priority in my life. I had to work a 12-step program because just going to meetings was not enough.

Hello minja,

The good news is that you can be completely successful in what you hope to achieve but it takes acceptance, commitment and a willingness to change.

The first thing that will help you is to get a good understanding of what you are dealing with. Take a look at another thread here called “Why” as you will get information there about alcoholism.

Once you have a better understanding, you can determine whether or not you are an alcoholic. If you are, then the reality is that you cannot now or will be able to in the future drink safely and your only safe option is to quit entirely. Until an alcoholic fully accept this fact, they will continue to struggle and it is unlikely that there will any significant progress.

If you are an alcoholic, it is likely that you will need outside help in order to recover. There are various places where you can get this help, including at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. To put it simply, you will need to make changes to your attitude, opinions and outlook. This may seem like a huge negative in your life but on the contrary, it can be a big opportunity. You can now get access to a toolkit for living that will help you to deal with all of the issues that life can throw up.

Both you and your child deserve a happy future so please take action today. If I were you, I would look up AA in your area and go to a meeting.

It is great that you admitted there is a problem. Now you are going to need help whether it be family and friends, AA or therapy. Know that there isn't any shame to admitting you have a problem. I too am a Mom and I am sad to say I spent a few years of my kids life in a complete fog. I was consumed with the obsession of alcohol. I took a few steps to get where I am today. I have 445 days of sobriety. First I admitted there was a problem. I tried to do it on my own and relapsed 2x in a month and one was really bad where my 12 yr old witnessed it. That shame I felt was my motivation into AA where I have found a great program and a wonderful sponsor. I know now that alcohol is a kind of poison for me and even one drink could send me spinning out of control again. Just know you are not alone in this we all have similar stories here. Take care.

I found this site and then found the help of a room of other recovered alcoholics. The thing to know is you are not a bad person, just that the alcohol is more powerful that the good side in you. Things can get better and you can be that mom that you want to be. Just find a support group and it is possible.
1is2many

I tried quitting hundreds of times on my own but failed each and every time. I surrendered to the the alcohol. I could not beat it, however, I learned to control it with the help of outpatient treatment and through the 12 steps of AA which saved my life. That was 9 years ago and today, I am happier then I have ever been. I wish you luck on your road to recovery and remember, there are alot of people willing to help but you can't be afraid to ask!

God Bless

minja,

I think you've already noticed but many of the people who’ve given words of wisdom here I echo with them all. So I leave you here with words of encouragement instead.

You’ve taken the biggest step in the journey of recovery as you’ve admitted that you see there’s a problem and need of help. That is big as I’ve worked with clients it’s very difficult to work with someone who doesn’t see there’s a problem. As in the counseling world they say, “you can only go as far as your client’s are willing to go”

I commend you for wanting to do this for your family. I myself am a father and has dramatically changed how I view things in life. What a joy isn’t it to enter into parenthood? They are absolutely worth everything within our life to protect and provide in a time such as this.

One last encouragement is as many already mentioned, it’s difficult if you don’t have a group of people to go through this with who will keep you accountable.

Praying for you.

I could not stop drinking, despite a mind that said I could, and wanted to, it never happened.

It wasn't until I got on my knees one day, and sincerely asked God to help. An amazing event followed that same day, in where I was literally five minutes away from drinking, when God intervened through other people. I have not had a drink since. That was right around five years ago.

Wanting to stop drinking for your child's sake is the type of unselfish love that will take you far in regards to abstaining from alcohol. Let me share with you what I did, which was taught to me by others, which has become simple, and easy.

I say a short prayer every morning, I then read out of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous for less than 10 minutes, I then go to a meeting, or listen to speaker on youtube from alcoholics anonymous, I then attempt to communicate with another recovered or recovering alcoholic, or I try to help an alcoholic less fortunate than I, and finally I go out of my way and commit to an attitude of helping all of God's children throughout everything I do within the day.

This recipe, works, and it works time and time again. I pray, I read, I communicate honestly, I ask for guidance and suggestion from those I know want to help, and I help everyone possible.

Here are some things I don't do, or stay away from. I stay away from debates that require opinions to thrive, or at least try to, I take advantage of rest when the opportunity arrives, I avoid close minded individuals, if I can, I don't argue or retaliate when someone has a problem with how I do business, I choose positive environments over negative environments when I can, and if I can't avoid a negative environment, I pay attention to those not interested in changing, and do the opposite of what they do. I work hard, very hard, sometimes irritating those who resent it, and this does always allows a great opportunity to remind me that adversity, if persevered through, is more so an illusion that only can stop you if you let it, or pay attention to it. What I am saying is, ignoring losers or those with greater self-interest than providing help, will go a long way, and they will continue in their misery, and you will be given the gift of joy and grace if you keep doing the right things.

I can't stress getting or praying for a strong support group, and that will more than likely come to fruition by going to a group, participating in that group, sharing in that group, sharing honestly in that group, and allowing the process to heal you.

Eventually life will demand you play the game it provides, and that can get tough, petty differences making mountains out of mole hills, financial stress cutting off hope or belief in miracles, relationships where selfishness can silently constrict it's will in the form of romance or "love" will appear, however, if you stick to a plan, a plan for recovery, a plan for living, and a plan to have God in your life, directing at all times, it will be a life you could never dream of, and you'll be a success.