i agree, i was always one of those ppl that just cant open up when sober, so when I drank I felt like I was able to talk to anyone, therefore it made drinking quite enticing to me. Now I can talk to other's sober and it is a great feeling.

I can do anything anyone else can do...I just can't drink alcohol...

Well that copy paste sucked...

Anyway... Thinking back to the first time I drank for oblivion... I was 15, had just lost a soccer tournament, and was alone. I remember being curious but also rationalizing that because I was upset, I was supposed to drink or it was at least a good excuse.

Then it became fun to party throughout high school. I remember I'd hang out with anyone if they had booze. It was never about friends or peer pressure. I never did feel connected. I was most always in my own head or observing others. Wasn't shy - just didn't care about anyone.

Most recently, I think it was purely escape. I never learned how to live a normal functional life and as I grew older, the pressure to figure out "normal" seemed impossible. I just couldn't figure it out so I set off into massive procrastination, escape with booze. I think I always felt a little inferiority in that I couldn't be normal.

Haven't quite figured out normal yet, but I'm ok with it for now.

Normal is a majority expectation I learned wasn't really the norm afterall. I was shaped by my childhood, role-models and influences. Many don't mature past childhood traumas, and that's been a large part of what sees us chasing sometimes unrealistic expectations. My biggest personality problem was I hid it and wanted everyone elses.

One thing I did learn on the steps Anna, is who I was. Self-awareness of who I was and how I came to be, I was better able to make changes to become who I wanted to be. A better person. I wanted to laugh and be happy. Underneath some of those confronting personality traits, there was a good person waiting to come out. I just had to peel back a few layers to allow that little girl to be free.

I don't think I would have had such a personality problem had it not been FOR drinking. Mr. Bud and Busch had me from 'Hello' ! lol

Yeah I can relate. I was always stuck in my head and wasn't too social. Drinking made me more of a social butterfly but now I want to go back to who I am. I will accept myself as being weird - I have an album written that I would love to make and a couple stories I'm writting. Alcohol has been a huge lie - it keeps us down and life is much better without it.

I am very anti-social. I'd prefer to be alone 90% of the time - alcohol made it easier for me to "interact" with others. Of course, that interaction usually involved me falling down, passing out, or otherwise making a fool out of myself. I don't know why I always thought that being uncomfortable in public was less acceptable than being a drunk, but I did. I'm just now realizing that anxiety won't kill me - it won't even make me fall over or pass out. No matter how anxious I am about something, I'd rather feel that way than drink again.

I can also be really self-centered. I'm working on getting outside of my own head and trying to give things back to those less fortunate than myself - I signed up to do some volunteer work, that helped me stay sober in the past.

Agree - alcohol imo now - provided what i thought was courage to speak my mind but in reality it was a bunch of rant. It also brought out the ability to whine and cry over issues i would not address sober. Sober brought the pain to the serve - i felt the pain and i healed the pain. I was much more outgoing, jabbery, daring, etc with alcohol - now i am pretty laid back, reserved and definitely non daring.

Peace!

Everyone's got a personality problem of some kind. As for me, I chose to stunt my personal growth by relying on alcohol. So I guess I get to fix it now!

We all have personality problems that deviate from the norm, (what ever normal is). I didn't drink to cover up a problem. It is quite possible, that someone pulled my pants down in public when I was younger and I just can't recall it and I over compensated by becoming an alcoholic. Possibly. I drank BECAUSE I LIKED IT.

Hi I also have bi polar so yes I agree .BUT I also think problem's in the past and even present have also been why I tried/try to escape inside of a bottle so to speak ... but then again I think we can all look for reasons for why we drink or drank. There is always a reason if you look closely enough ...personality or just life ...

Yeah, we're all messed up at least a little.

thinks that's just being human lol but we sure are dontread :)
although i hide behind quirky ;) x

quirky is good. Way too much conformity in this world. The masses have a cattle like quality in fact.
Could this reading be alluding to the fact that so many of us have other addictions and at least mild MI??