"Actions speak louder then words"

God Bless

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old school tough love, I remember those words back in the late 70's in a meeting...still works obviously.

Look at the non-alcoholics. Many of them are unhappy. They suffered various mental problems and do nothing about it. On the other hand, there are many non-alcoholics, who are happy and mentally fit. Some of them got that way by going through therapy, reading self-help books etc. The 12 steps get you sober, but if you don’t go beyond that, you may be a sober person, with various mental problems that need to be addressed. My goal was to go on with life, without suffering mentally.
AA was no help for me to get sober. I know that it works for many of you. My path was similar in spirit, but without the meetings. After I had some sober time, I went to a therapist. The therapists who specializes in alcoholism, are only good for stopping drinking. I had already archived that. I wanted to address my depression, so I sought out a therapist, who treats depression.
The spiritual part was a stroke of luck. My wife is a Vietnamese Buddhist. She asked me to go, with her to an English-speaking Dharma Class. The monk, who teaches the class, has a PhD in Psychology. At the classes, I learned to stop grasping, I learned the art of letting go. I learned acceptance. I learned mindful meditation.
During this time, I had two battles with cancer. The first was a simple prostate cancer that had all the complications that were possible. I woke up on a respirator 36 hours after the surgery. I accepted it. I said to myself, either the doctors save me or I die. Then came many other complications involving 3 minor and 4 major surgeries. They took a muscle out of my leg and put it inside me. I had a ileumostomy bag, a urine bag and a drainage bag for almost a year. I was one for the medical books. The chief doctor was amazed at my attitude. He said most of his patients were perfectly miserable, but I came in telling jokes. I used everything that I learned in therapy and at Dharma classes.
The second cancer of the neck a year after recovery from the first cancer involved radiation and chemo. I lost the sense of taste for 9 months. I got through that without wanting to drink. I recently had a 3rd cancer. This one was easy it was a skin cancer that was removed.
The reason why many alcoholics return to drinking after months of sobriety is because they do not address the triggers. The real triggers are problems in the family or at work. There is an avoidance of addressing the problems. Booze becomes the answer.
When I go for lunch at the Senior Citizens Center, I see many grouchy old men. If I did not work on my problems that is what I would be, a grouchy sober old man.
A good sobriety is a lot of work. I am happy that I did it. I am, not done yet. I am still working of myself. Presently it is my desire to retire. We cannot live in Silicone Valley. It is too expensive. I have been checking out alternate locations. It’s stressful, but I am handling it.

Mmm.... Sounds like an aa sponsor....

A jerk

True of most people though

Nope. Not a jerk. Just an alcoholic who had found the solution and was willing to share it with me. I'm blessed.