Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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camojeepguy
camojeepguy

Hello all, it's my first post here. I am going to cut to the chase and be 100% honest....


I have struggled with alcohol since I was 18. I am retired Army (Infantry) and drinking daily was the lifestyle back then. I am not trying to make it sound ok, because it isn't. After 27 months of combat and having lost friends and taken lives my alcoholism got way worse. I retired and moved back to my home state in 2011 and managed to quit drinking for a while (a few months) and then my Dad died and I got a DUI. It has been an off and on sprial of drinking since then.


Here I sit at 2:30 in the morning still drinking. I am not drunk but trying to just drink enough to keep the anxiety from creeping up. I have been praying all day that tomorrow I will get a "reset" (when I wake up with no anxiety and feel no need to drink). I have been on this binge for about a month now. I am going to be getting back surgery again, so I am not working as of right now.


I am guessing that my only option is AA. I hate feeling this way. I am almost in tears because of how much this has been hurting me. Does anyone have any ideas or words of encouragement? I know I am a good person, but I need to get this devil off my back and gone for good.



Thanks guys and God Bless....

Trine
Trine
You are a good person - I can hear it in your words... Alcohol does numb the pain in the moment that is why it is so addictive... I have been there - the binge starts and in order not to face the reality it just keeps going. Just start with one day and let the days unfold... There are a lot of people just like you who are struggling but also successful, reach out to them, they will be more than happy to help! I cannot imagine what war is like but there are also people who specialize in helping people with Post Traumatic Stress. I know a world of compassion and help awaits you.
Bless you too!
PJ54
PJ54
Hello camojeepguy,

You have already made a good start by recognising that you have a problem and that you need help.

You also mentioned AA, and while it is not your only option, it is certainly a good place to start. When I lost control over alcohol, like many other people in a similar situation, I did a lot of praying, but to no avail. It was only when I went to AA and went through the Twelve Steps with a sponsor that I learned about the barrier between ourselves and the inner spirit, that prevents us from getting answers to the prayers. We build up this invisible barrier through past thoughts and actions and it is only when we manage to tear it down that God’s guidance can reach the spirit through meditation.

You are a good person and you deserve to be happy. Now, as soon as you wake up in the morning, I would suggest that you make a decision to seek help. Don’t put it off until the next day or next week or it will never happen. Look up AA meetings in your area, go along to some, and start out on the journey to recovery.

God Bless.
camojeepguy
camojeepguy
Thank you both for your kind words and encouragement. Today is Day 1. As I figured I didn't sleep well and am really tired. I know the days will get better once I allow my body to detox. I looked up and sent out an email for a local Celebrate Recovery program that meets on Friday afternoons. I am also going to be looking up AA places and times. I figure the more meetings I can grab, the better.

It really stinks admitting that this thing has control over me. I used to be a pretty well respected soldier and a heck of a carpenter. Ever since my back surgery last year I have known that I need to find something I can do for a living that isn't labor intensive. This next surgery is going to put me on my butt for the next 6-8 months. I know that's no excuse for my lack of control, but the numbness did help some.

Thank you both for your help and encouragement. I will be posting up as this struggle goes on.

God Bless
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Alcoholism is a symptom of deeper emotional issues! Many soldiers having seen battle will come back home with ptsd. If you are an american, the VA has programs to help with that ptsd but first you have to get diagnosed which will require you to visit a VA doctor. When you do, let him know about your drinking problem and that will alert him to search deeper for your triggers. You can get your life back if you take action now. You will have a great life at that. I have heard some horrible stories from veterans at AA meetings that just tear your heart out so believe me, you are not alone. Just give a call to your local VA hospital and they will help you and do it all for free!

Thankyou for serving your country!

God Bless
camojeepguy
camojeepguy
I appreciate it Bob!

Yes, I am in the VA system. I am 60% disabled and was retired from the Army due to physical injuries from combat and also PTSD. I worry about going to the VA here where I am at because well... they suck. No other way to sugar coat it. When I had to get my new rating from there, it was not a well put together place. The people that I came in touch with could care less and I also got the feeling that it ticked them off that I was even there. The other reason why I stay out of the VA is everything goes into my record. I have a CDL but am currently not using it. I don't drink when I am on the road (in case anyone was wondering). I know people always tell you that what goes on in the VA can't hurt you, but I don't trust them. I will find an outside source if at all possible. I wish the VA system was better than it actually is.

Please don't take my statement as me being rude or anything Bob, because I feel the total opposite right now. I am very thankful to have kind people such as yourself throwing out encouragement and helpful ideas in less than 8 hours from me posting this! You guys are very special people!

Thank you my friend(s)!
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
You don't have to accept the statis quo. If you are unhappy with the way they work then you can change it. As we say in AA, "Nothing ever changes if nothing never changes". You can bring about change by going to your newspaper or writing letters to your congressmen and I am pretty sure it will work. We had the same problem with the local VA hospital here but people complained and massive changes were made so now they function alot more efficiently and with alot more compassion! You just need to keep talking and don't stop until you find someone who will listen....Listen you paid your dues and if a VA worker has a problem with that then they should be fired! No matter how much this country does for you, it will never be enough so don't feel ashamed when you go there and if someone is treating you disrespectfully, then you gotta say something about that. Don't be anyone's doormat, my friend!

Somewhere along the line, you became dis empowered and you need to get that back.

God Bless
camojeepguy
camojeepguy
Well went to my first AA meeting in probably 7 years. This time feels so different because I WANT and DESIRE change in my life. I no longer want to be halfway committed in living sober. I am still detoxing today as I haven't slept but only about 5 hours and I am not hungry at all. I know it will start coming back in the next few days. I know this is the first hardest thing is the first few days. My struggle will be really tough in the next few weeks / months. I will have to find a "replacement" for the time I used to dedicate to drinking. I am also going to have to separate myself from old friends that drank with me. If they can't respect what I am trying to do, then I don't think they respect me as a person, that's just how I am looking at it.

Any advice or tips on how you guys handled this part when you went through it? Thanks so much for your help and support!
Candi
Candi
I don't if AA is your ONLY option, but, I gave it a shot and was pleasantly surprised. I dreaded going to meetings because I was so afraid someone would recognize me and I get nervous talking to strangers. But, I went and everyone was so friendly and very positive and laughing. It wasn't at all what I expected or what TV makes it out to be.

My advice is that even though AA might not be the right answer for everyone, might as well at least give it a shot.
camojeepguy
camojeepguy
Yes Candi- that is the EXACT same thing I saw today. I would of never guessed that the people in the room had been where I am at. After the meeting started I felt very relaxed listening to everyone. It felt so good not to have to put on a fake face and pretend I was someone that I wasn't. It felt so good to just let me be me and realize that, yes, right now I am broken but it's not going to stay that way forever. I am choosing to look at it as the first painful step to a beautiful life without being a slave to alcohol. I am getting the chance to be funny and make people laugh without being drunk. I enjoy laughing and making others laugh but for so many years I have been doing it the wrong way. I finally saw that they were laughing AT me and not WITH me. I just can't wait to feel comfortable in my own sober skin....
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