The hard work you did in hosting this event for family, was a gift to them! The hard work you did to stay sober, was a gift to yourself!

Life is full of gifts, you just need to look!

God Bless

Maybe they will slowly evolve by your example. I am determined to stay forever sober. (eight months now). And there’s a lot of beer and wine at our family events too. It’s easier to avoid it because I have been open with them about my decision to abstain. So it’s like peer pressure in my favor. And my brother in law is now four months sober because he likes the change he sees in me. Actions always speak louder than words. So glad to hear you stayed strong.

didnt sound to bad to me. i spent the 4th totally alone, lonely only talking long distance to people online, no family, no friends, no dog,cats or birds just me. i would have gladly traded you. time not to take all of this for granted, it might go away some day and you will miss it dearly. like i do now.

seaQ you say you "wished it had been fun for you", can I please ask, is this because you were the host running around making sure everyone is having a good time (I know from experience holding such gatherings is exhausting) OR is it because deep down you still think that alcohol creates fun???

I always took alcohol too far so whilst there is an illusion of it being fun - all I did was waste the following day feeling ill and that was no fun!! Since becoming sober I actually have more fun without the booze, I have more money, I have more energy and I spend more time with my family making memories. Don't get me wrong I still socialise and when I go out with my friends I'm the life and soul of the party!! BUT I'm not that girl comatose in the corner - blacked out unable to walk and speak but I'm the girl still dancing, rocking the tunes and I'm the girl who hasn't her phone or house keys!! I always volunteer to drive in order that I am in control of when I arrive and leave and I make plans for the following day without wondering if I'll be sick or have a pounding head!

During my early stages of sobriety I felt jealous that everyone else could drink normally, I felt that I was "missing out" but I worked on those feelings and became confident in my choice of abstinence. I can either spend time feeling jealous or I can accept that I can't drink ............. EVER.

You need to accept - until you do then my advise would be to avoid social gatherings. My counsellor often told me that if you visited the hairdresser regularly you'd eventually get your hair cut - likewise if you keep putting yourself in social gatherings without first accepting that you are powerless over alcohol then eventually you'll convince yourself to have a drink.

Agree with my friend bob, don't overlook the gift you gave yourself under the most challenging of circumstances over the Fourth. You are AMAZING to do this! Wow!

Yes, I definitely need to work on being able to enjoy family gatherings without feeling like I'm missing out on fun because I can not drink. How to do that? I need to put more focus on the negative aspects of drinking, and less focus on the fact that I can not join in on the fun of cocktails at sunset. Plus I was quite exhausted from all the work. But in hindsight, it all went very well. Thanks for the good advice!

Way to go seaQ! It most certainly is simply remembering the negatives that keep us on the positive road to recovery and lifelong soberiety. No more wasting our life by days of waking up wondering what we did last night, counting the cost of our drunkenness because we lost an I phone or debit card, no more bruises from where we banged off the walls and then making up excuses for how we got them. No more being sick with a head from hell and no more needing an hair o dog to function and start over again BUT for me it was no more looking into the sadness of my daughters eyes, seeing her worry and hurt and no more losing my self respect. Honestly, if that’s the “fun” of drinking then I’m glad I find my fun some other way nowadays. Good luck Hun - you’ve got this x

Maybe I've got this, because I have internalized some parameters that used to never bother me. I never cared about hangovers because I could cure them with advil pretty fast. Now I can't imagine dealing with hangovers.
I used to not mind drinking around the children, now I would never do that. I used to not worry about counting sobriety days, or anniversaries; and now I know that's more important than just the fluff I thought it to be. etc.