Because he's a miserable dick and misery loves company. If he cared about your health and happiness he would never do that. Get out and get sober. Find sobriety and you'll find a sober companion that cares for you.

I don't know. That sounds pretty insensitive.

How did you respond?

Does he drink? If so, that's a passive-aggressive way to lure you in so he doesn't feel bad/guilty about drinking himself. It's sabotage.

The reason why I suggested that is that I once dated an alcoholic and he would try and try to give up drinking. One day, he sat me down on the sofa and place a bottle of wine and a glass on the coffee table. I was puzzled and asked him what he was doing and he said that I should be able to enjoy drinking even though he wasn't going to. I tried to decline, but he was insistent.

Now I have a better understanding of what he was doing. It was just another manufactured excuse to start back again and he could conveniently blame me.

Not the same circumstance, but I hope there is a bit of correlation.

I'm not sure what is up with your husband, but I hope you set him straight and poured the vodka down the sink!

You CAN do this!!!

Well, bCarey. I'M not willing to give up on a 30 year marriage, over a bottle of vodka. I just have to be strong enough to say no....

Good luck with that. I'm no doctor but I'm fairly certain an alcoholic's chance at sobriety is greatly decreased when she is try to quit w/ a bottle being shoved in her face. If you really believe I'm telling you to leave him over 1 bottle of vodka then you are missing the point and in super denial. I firmly believe you will stay with him and you will stay drunk. Please prove me wrong.

Hello smahon02,

Sadly you cannot rely on your husband for support. Maybe he is afraid of how things would be if you were sober or maybe he is trying to divert attention from his own drinking. Either way it just goes to prove that you need to do this for yourself. I know that AA is not for everyone but it is one place where you would find a group of people who would want to see you doing well and would understand what you are feeling. Worth considering?

Who knows? But as long as you are looking externally to get sober or drunk -- it won't work out well.

He would do that because he is codependent and an enabler. He feels threatened by you stopping the alcohol.

I had to have all booze out go my house when I got sober. I would obsess about it. Just one in the house is to many. And a bottle of vodka. Pour that out. Right now. I'm thinking about it in cyber space.

Pour it down the drain

1-2

I was recipient of this as well. Asked why just now - "Hated to see me go through cold turkey and wanted me to reduce gradually" was the reply. A strange way of caring???

When I stopped drinking, the dynamics changed. Without the booze, my husband went ass over tea kettle. He even left me once. A good friend in Al-Anon told me "if you call him and tell him you have a 6 pack, he'd be home tomorrow". Wasn't worth it. Nothing or no one could get me drunk. Only my right arm.

If you drink, it's on you, not your husband. It's almost like you're announcing this to us so you won't be held accountable. If you want to drink, go ahead. None of my business. But if you want to stay sober, get to AA or somewhere with a program. You've already proven once that you can't do it alone. You also have support from round the world here.

A few months after I got sober, my husband bought me a beer while we were waiting for a table at a restaurant and handed it to me.

Somehow he thought he was being nice and didn't get that when I said I stopped drinking, that I this means that I don't drink. Crazy!

Your husband might not be intentionally undermining you. He might be afraid that when you are sober you might not want him anymore. Or he might not want to lose a drinking partner.

Just don't drink. Talk to him about it if it will help you. You can do this!

Bingo EXJerseyGirl!

When we take the action to be sober, they feel threatened. Life will change. Like your'e upsetting the apple cart.

Now being sober for a few days, you have a choice whether you pick up again or not. Please choose wisely.

Sounds like he is threatened by the changes going on in your life.

My loving husband, who is very supportive, wouldn't dream of such a move. It was he who poured out every bottle of booze we had in the house including a 6 pack of beer bottles that had been sitting in the house for weeks (I don't drink beer - guess I am a picky alcoholic).

I was shocked by your post coming from a man in a marriage for 30 years. I would probably have picked up the bottle, opened it, walked over to the kitchen sink and poured it down the drain.

When it was empty, I'd hand the empty bottle back to him and say "that was a complete waste of money, I'd appreciate it greatly if you didn't do that ever again".

Is it possible, he was doing this just to measure your resolve to stop?

Seriously? He bought you some vodka? I would have said something like:
"oh, you know I am trying to quit drinking, right? You know I felt bad about having drinks at Wes Walker Bar and Grill. I bought a book on recovery, so why would you offer me vodka''?
Why would he do that, you asked. You need to ask him that.
Alcohol is never going to go away. It is at the store, resturaunt, commercials, everywhere. We have to learn to how to live SOBER...
Hope I could help.

Good morning. I need to apologize to Smahon for being so quick to judge. I get very defensive of people who are trying to get sober and angry with those who get in the way or make it harder than it already is. For me, sobriety is more important than anyone or anything b/c without sobriety I don't have anyone or anything. Regarding my sobriety.....you're either with me or against me. Smahon, I'm with you and I really to want you to get well.