You said you take care of everyone and everything.....sounds like you are drinking due to the stress of having so much responsibility. I think you need to get sober first and then have a talk with your family about possibly getting some help to take some of that stress off your back so you can take a break now and then and have some "Me" time! You are burying the depression deep inside and that's not healthy. You can also talk to your doctor about your drinking and he/she can give you additional support and of course, you are always welcomed here. Keep us posted because the path you take on your road to recovery, may help someone else!

God Bless

A hard lesson for me was learning to take care of myself. I don't ignore everyone or my dudites. I make sure that there is time for me in my life. I needed to find other ways of rewarding myslef other than alcohol. One day at time worked for me. I will not drink today. Tomorrow is another day, I just will not drink today.I do not go to AA.

Welcome I would try to control everything and when I couldn't I drank to escape. I was using alcohol to cope with the good the bad and the ugly. I will let you know it is a much better way to live without the shame and remorse of my selfish drinking.
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Hello iofthetiger,

There are several important steps on the road to recovery from alcoholism and you have taken the first by admitting that you have a problem. However, although many admit to the problem, some fail to fully accept the reality of where they are. If you are an alcoholic, the reality is that you cannot drink safely, not even one drink. If you can come to accept that big chunk of truth, you will have a good chance.

Being a strong person is no defence against alcoholism as when you fight it, you are fighting a battle that you cannot win. For an alcoholic, drinking becomes an obsession and someone who suffers from such an obsession will find it very difficult not to drink. Short or long periods of sobriety may occur but a day will usually come when obsession overcomes willpower and a reason will be found to drink, often blaming it on someone or something other than oneself.

The obsession that drives an alcoholic to take the first drink can be successfully removed and there are various methods of doing that. It may be that posting here on DS, along with acceptance will be all that you will need. However, if you find that you are still struggling, do not be afraid to look for help. Do not discount anything that may help you, even if you see people posting along the lines of “I did it without xyz”.

The good news is that you need never drink again and the even better news is that you can have a great life without alcohol.

Thanks for the input. I really need to get myself together....I am gonna try like hell!

For me i personally just drank. For haveing to many reponsibilities. For having a bad day for having a good day. For deprestion for stress. Etc. Etc..... in yhe end they are all just excuses i used to try and make it acceptable. The obsession make me think about drinking but the allergy makes me not know how many drinks i will take if i allow it to enter my body. For me yhe obsession was taken away while working the 12 steps. I still have to learn to live life on lifes terms. Drinking was merely a solution to deal with life. Now my solution comes from rooting myself in my higher power and asking for his will to work in me daily. Dont drink clean house help others .you got this . Hang in there

Boy your story sounds like mine. I thought I was OK for a long time because everyone was taken care of. Trouble was I wasn't taking care of me. I thought drinking made me happy for a long time until I started lying and hiding what I was drinking. I started blacking out too and I hated not knowing what I had said or done. 5months sober now and feeling so much better about me and my family. Here if you need to talk

welcome, you are in very good company here. everyone struggles. this site helps me focus and reminds me of why I need to be sober when the demons come knocking at my door. good luck. and keep sharing here, it helps.

And my denial was so bad at one point that I would hide my drinking from myself - if I finished a bottle I would not leave it on the counter to clean the next morning, but walk it all the way out to the outside trash... because I knew how horrible I would feel the next day even while I was pouring my drink. So you are NOT alone.

Welcome and you got this! It is never too late to start. How are you doing today? I am a mother too. Huggles