Hi Loulou!

Admitting you have an issue is a great step! While you may not be religious, AA focuses on the spiritual side and finding your personal "higher power" so don't let the religion piece scare you. If you do want to try meetings there is also online AA groups online. For me I chose to start seeing an addiction counselor and working on the emotional triggers that caused me to drink and that has been helping. Try a few things and see what works best for you and remember to be kind to yourself!

Both my parents were alcoholics and this disease took my mother's life when I was at a very young age. After seeing what it did to to them, I vowed to never touch the stuff. Thirty years later, I find myself in a difficult ,marriage with a mountain of bills I cannot pay, working two jobs I hated, and suffering from severe low back pain.

I was prescribed narcotic pain killers when all the nsaids I had been on, stopped working. I thought I was in Heaven! Not only did it cure my pain but it made me happy for the first time in 20 years! My addiction to narcotics covered a 3 year period and culminated in a 3 day hospital stay through which I nearly died from an overdose.

My near death experience didn't "wake me up" so to speak. I hadn't yet had enough. I needed to punish myself more because I didn't hit my "low."
So, I started drinking when I couldn't find anymore pills. That caused even more problems for me until I ended up in detox for a second time. The first time, I would not accept help because I wasn't ready to admit I had a problem, which I could not handle alone. The second time, I was ready.......ready to do whatever it took to stay clean and sober!

After spending 4 days in detox, I went through a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program). (If you live in the USA, every hospital has an "Alcohol and Substance Abuse Program). During my intake to the IOP, I was diagnosed for the things that triggered my addictions, such as ptsd, and depression so I was treated for them. I also learned how to live a happy, sober lifestyle.

After the IOP, I was refereed for more group counseling, once a week for 3 months through which I learned what my triggers were and how to deal with them.

Throughout all the treatment and counseling I had, regular attendance at AA meetings were a requirement. The 12 steps of AA were an important part of my recovery and under the careful guidance of a sponsor, cleared away all the negative attachments in my mind that were triggering me like shame, guilt, hate, resentment etc.

This was 10 years ago. Today, I have a great life and I have never been happier. All of the AA 12 Promises have been fulfilled in my life!

Good luck on your road to recovery and may you find Peace and happiness along the way.

God Bless

Welcome. AA is not religious. It's a spiritual program. I've learned that there is a huge difference. If you're desperate like I was, then you would do whatever it takes regardless of the labels. I had to get rid of all the excuses b/c I could find an excuse or problem with every kind of recovery option if I looked hard enough.

Each AA group has it's own chemistry, some are more Christian-centric while others are quite open to whatever you want to believe. The real point is that you need a belief or understanding other than your own to get you on the road to recovery. We've all tried and failed when left to our own devices, and AA, Refuge Recovery and other orgs. have recovery steps that work, if you really work them. Glad you found us, and hope you consider getting some local support as well. Wishing you the best and please stay in touch!

Welcome. I was addicted to the way alcohol made me feel... or rather NOT feel.

I couldn’t quit on my own, it was just not possible. I tried a million times. This last time I went to a group meeting and I haven’t drank in more than 5 years.

I needed accountability , because I was a lush

1is2many

Welcome. The only person who could shame you is yourself. Take a hard look in the mirror.

Thank you all very much for your advice. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post Dps4673, bobinmaine, stepone, Kevin105, 1is2many, jeffneedshelp. I didn't mean to offend anyone by stating I'd rather not do AA. I was just looking to see what other options worked.

There is Refuge Recovery,
LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR)
Moderation Management (MM)
Narconon (Church of Scientology)
Pagans in Recovery (PIR)
Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS)
SMART Recovery
Women For Sobriety (WFS)
Celebrate Recovery (CR)

For me its like going to the Gym. Sure I dont want to go before, I actually feared the interaction with others and addressing my problem. But after I walk out I feel so much better. I have found new friends that have an understanding that nobody else can. I learned things that I couldnt have possibly known alone.

My higher power is the center atom in the middle of the room. In all reality, my self reliance and need to be in control was THE main reason i drank so hard. I never realized the drinking was the way I was solving the way I felt. Now change the way I feel and there is no need to drink.

Its a physical as well as mental problem. Just removing the booze was only successful to making me miserable. I needed to fill the hole with something. My last drink was June 9, 2012. I honestly cant believe that I dont drink today.

You can find a way but it takes an action, Life is waiting

1is2many

Ditto 1is2.

I thought just not drinking would fix me. It didn't - it just made me miserable, restless, irritable and discontent.

I found a program that required I look at myself and make the necessary improvements to my entire character. As a result, I have been sober, happy and a productive member of society for just shy of 14 years - since July 4, 2004.

Agreed. Alcohol wasn’t my problem. It was the solution and it didn’t work.

1is2many, Cora_Belle, jeffneedshelp. Thank you. It started after my last failed IVF attempt, four years ago. I spent a lot of time consumed with that process and when I finally realised it was not going to happen... what better way to fill up my day (without a child) then with booze. FYI, my older brother checked himself into a hotel room and over the course of a weekend, drank himself to death. He was 33. My dad died of cirrhosis of the liver. This is how we cope in my family.

So sorry to hear about your family. They make it hard for you to believe there is hope for your own recovery. Please know your family, nor your past, have to define or predict your future. There is HOPE! There are many twelve step programs which would connect you with people who will understand your situation and are on a positive road to getting away from their addictions. Celebrate Recovery is one of them. Please know there is HOPE and keep reaching out!

Welcome!

Three non AA recommendations:

Smart Recovery -- based on Cognitive-Based Therapy. There are meeting online and in person (limited areas for in person.) There are also tools you can download from their website:
https://www.smartrecovery.org/

Women For Sobriety -- very supportive! Try their online community
http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/

"The Easy Way to Stop Drinking" by Allen Carr. I've read a lot of books on quitting, including AA's. This is the one I would most recommend. Check out the reviews.
https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Drinking/product-reviews/1402736479

You don't need to go to meetings to quit. You don't need a program. I know this firsthand -- I quit years ago and never relapsed. I think you do need to decide to quit and then do everything you personally need to stick with that decision. You have to see everything out there and figure out what that is for you.

If you want more details on what helped me in the first weeks and months, please ask and I will be happy to share.

SuZQ, ExJerseyGirl2, thank you both so much. ExJerseyGirl2, thank you. I would definitely be interested in hearing what worked for you.

You are on the right path! What has worked for me most has been accepting Jesus as my Savior. Second to that have been twelve step programs like Celebrate Recovery, Christian counseling, surrounding myself with people who hold me accountable and love me, commitment to Bible studies, going to church, venting my real feelings and not stuffing, reaching out to others for help and helping them, and trying to balance body-mind-spirit through exercise, nutrition, sleep, relaxation, and work. You can do this! One hour at a time, one day at a time...Praying for you today, dear one!