Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I am 46 days sober. Last night I stopped at the store before I came home. I picked up some things for dinner; salmon, asparagus and makings for a risotto. Since I've sobered up, I'm eating well. I got some chai tea which I like in the mornings, and also some hazelnut syrup to go in it. I usually buy the small plastic bottle of it, but this store only had a large glass bottle. I put it in my basket and then the clerk took it out and put it back in the basket. I took it from the basket and put it in the truck. Just a transfer of it from one place to another.
When I got home though with my other items balanced in my left hand, I grabbed that bottle of hazelnut syrup by the neck with my right hand and began to walk toward the house with it. It was here that I realized it had the feel weight, and shape of a fifth, a fifth of hazelnut syrup, but that motion, that muscle memory, that grabbing it by the neck. It stopped me in my tracks. This bottle of hazelnut syrup will last me awhile, but next time I think I'll stick with the small bottle, for now. It feels a bit silly, but I may even pour it into a different container all together just to be safe. That motion and feel was just all too familiar and all too real.
When I got home though with my other items balanced in my left hand, I grabbed that bottle of hazelnut syrup by the neck with my right hand and began to walk toward the house with it. It was here that I realized it had the feel weight, and shape of a fifth, a fifth of hazelnut syrup, but that motion, that muscle memory, that grabbing it by the neck. It stopped me in my tracks. This bottle of hazelnut syrup will last me awhile, but next time I think I'll stick with the small bottle, for now. It feels a bit silly, but I may even pour it into a different container all together just to be safe. That motion and feel was just all too familiar and all too real.
-
-
I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
Those kind of insights, light bulb moments, are so very important. Muscle memory is a very interesting way to look at it, I never heard it put that way. It's so very important to over ride the lizard brain with the parts of the brain that contains judgment, problem solving, and creativity. Rather than pour it out you could transfer it to another container of a different size and shape. I hate to waste money (LOL).... I had a similar experience drinking a soda. The motions and way I was drinking it was like I was drinking a beer. .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgubITgGPBw
Zachary 18 thanks for sharing the moment you had. It was just like that.
:) I love Total Recall. :) The movie is better than my deju vu drinking total recall.
Again thank you, all of you. In taking the time from your day to write encouragement to me is a great kindness. Since I started coming to this site, mainly as a reader rather than a writer, that's what I've noticed most is the kindness, the thoughtfulness of people's responses, support and encouragement. In reading those kindnesses over the last 47 days, it's caused me to look more kindly on myself.