I could drink today.  If I did drink, I'd probably go the the liquor store first and get a bottle of whiskey, vodka, rum, maybe tequila, definitely red wine, 2 or three bottles of champagne or something sparkling, two cases of beer, probably all three of the layman cognac's, Hennessey, Remy, and Courvoseir, but I might pass on Gin, because one time when I was drinking Gin, I ate this strange looking bug I found in my bed thinking someone put it there and I was like "you want to bug me, fuck you, I'll show you, I'll swallow it and not even chew."

I could also just take 15 minutes to share my experience with the chapter called Into Action, provided by Alcoholics Anonymous, to treat alcoholism if desiring to do so and if wanting to be open minded to what they do as a treatment. 

I'll do the latter because I didn't mention that after I bought all the alcohol at the liquor store I'd then either go to a bar, strip club, or friends how to get "fucked up" and not "give a fuck" the rest of the day.  Whilst being "fucked up" and "not giving a fuck" I'd also be on the phone trying to round up as many drugs as possible.  Yep, that is very much in me and alive, all the time, lol. 

Fortunately, I can decide to not do any of that, and just treat the condition that tells me that buying 10 bottles of alcohol, with almost 50 beers, and then going to a place for probably 5 to 6 more drinks (despite the fact that I just bought about 100 to 200 drinks at the liquor store), and then...trying to get bags of weed, coke, pills, hopefully herion, and of course a carton of cigarettes (because they are of course "legal".  They taste like shit but they are legal)

I hope that made sense, but if it didn't, basically I am saying I have a brain that says getting shit loads of alcohol, and then doing whatever the fuck I want the rest of the day completely ignoring responsibility and the law, is an option, but that same brain can say to itself, that it can also, treat what is telling it's brain, to be an alcoholic, who buys 10 bottles of alcohol at a time seeing no problem with that, and that is very comforting. 

Into Action is where I am conversing with another person about the defects inside of me that make it a possibility to have no problem with buying 10 bottles of alcohol at the liquor store at a time, and then going out in the world disregarding the fact that peace is better than chaos, and if I have 10 bottles of alcohol on me and lots of drugs, that is probably more in the chaos category than the peaceful one. 

I think misunderstandings from those you might confide in, when doing Into Action is something that should be discussed.  I suggest you pray to a higher power to send you the right person to discuss your defects to opposed to just opening your mouth and telling anyone close to you.  I've done both, and the one where I prayed to have the right person come along that I could actually be my self with, and they would understand, kept me sober.  The one where I was situated in where I wasn't able to tell the right person or person's, the wrong person or person's used that information to downgrade their own opinion of me, and simply didn't understand that I was confiding in them so I could release myself of my own concern of who I was.  Basically what I am saying is there are tons of ignorant motherfuckers in this world who won't see your Into Action, as a noteworthy cause or destiny towards the right directions.  

In closing I think my main point is when a person comes along that really wants to help you, let them, and one way to know is, they listen more than talk, to you.  They are going to be listening to with care, and cocern, and they are going to let you finish your sentences as well, and they aren't going to be interested in dominating the conversation either.  They will know, you have to confess, or say what you say, and they will love you for it, and from it.