Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
AA's idea of making amends to those who have been harmed by the disease of alcoholism, is just a suggestion. The roots of patience, kindness, tolerance, and love, are how they want to live their lives going forward.
I don't think this is the only way. I think being impatient, rude, intolerant, and hateful towards people who have done wrongs directly to me, is just fine. I have to be honest.
The other day, I was in a meeting, in where, a tradition of AA, says, it has the right to be wrong, and this is one of those steps, that I find, wrong.
If someone does something directly to me, they know is going to hurt me, then I think it is 100 percent proper to be impatient, rude, intolerant, and hateful towards them. Well, at least to have those thoughts of them, but acting contrary takes an extreme amount of energy, so I also think it is ok if I am impatient, rude, intolerant, and hateful behavior wise towards them and those they love.
Strangely enough, that keeps me sound and sober, but it does keep a gap between us, which is important, because if I were interested in restoring the broken road or burned bridge, I'd care, but I honestly could really care less about that, so my direct amends is to keep my distance from them so I don't actually hurt the witnessing of the world by hurting them. In a perfect world I would 100 percent hurt them openly for all to see.
This step, step nine, in the society within a society called Alcoholics Anonymous, says made the amends whenever possible. It is impossible for me to believe that if someone does wrong to me, I have to make amends to them. As a matter of fact, you are a moron if you created something that operates that way. If someone does something wrong to me, I should do something wrong to them, it's that simple like mathematics, one plus one equals two, so I don't believe in amends, especially amends that involve people who know they are wrong, knew they were wrong, and didn't care at the time. This goes back to the deep seeded faith that AA has regarding forgiving others, clearly a Christian principle, but AA is all-inclusive, so what about those who weren't born to adhere to Christian principles? What if your mind is hardwired into thinking that all this forgiveness talk is a bunch of bullshit, scared people, love to promote? If you've done some fucked up shit, and now you're begging for forgiveness, isn't that so convenient, for you? What about all the other people that fucked up shit, put shit stains on? Is your being forgiven going to erase the shit stains others have from your fucked up behavior and disconcerted efforts to ruin others and not give a damn about them when you were doing your fucked up shit, not wise enough to understand or know at the time you will never be forgiven by some really, powerful, people? So, no, forgiveness is not a law, is it an option, or privilage, and I personally, do not have to use it if I do not want to.
When I am honest about that is absolutely how I feel and understand my plan to be, now does that mean it is impossible for me to make direct amends wherever possible? If you have a brain, you see clearly that I do not make amends, and I do not make them because it is impossible for me to do so, directly. I do make indirect amends, however, by personally sacrificing some of my greatest pleasures and doing boring shit like going to AA meetings, asking God to show me what exactly makes a person doing fucked up shit too stupid to realize it will have extremely negative cosequences going forward for them (and others), try to manage my offerings, and gifts, reasonably as if I appreciate them, etc. I directly do things to people when possible, that won't injure them or others, even though they don't deserve it, most of the time, and for some strange reason, that keeps my mind open to amends being good for the world, and good for God's grace.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...


~~~Cheers~~~
I noticed the bristling with your response to the steps beginning with removal of defects. I don't see something that we don't have control over as a defect as I think you may. For instance, if someone has a hard time grasping empathy it's not a defect. It's just how their brain is wired. However the defect ARISES from this when that person can't be honest with themselves or others that they aren't like most other people. Different isn't bad, it's just different than the norm. And we, in our society, are trained to noticed anything out of the 'ordinary' or 'normal'. In a crowd of people walking by we pick out the guy with the bad limp automatically. Which sucks for the guy because that draws unwanted attention. Just as your inability to play well with other must make you stand out and make your life harder and feed your anger.
There are many teachers long before Christ that talk about what Jesus said; 'forgive them father for they know not what they do'. Compassion for ourselves and all living beings is the only way to true happiness. THE ONLY WAY. Denying this truth is the most severe denial of all. Most of us need to work on generating compassion and the Buddhists in particular have some effective exercises to do this. As you would guess, it's all about putting yourself in someone else's place or developing the desire to help someone without expecting anything is return. This is unconditional love and if I believed in god this is how I would know to be one with god.
If you ever want to explore how to develop compassion, lmk and I will PM some books that were very helpful to me.