Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
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Hi I just joined this website and am pretty new to this. I have been to like 3 meetings in my life. I am an alcoholic and I use cocaine as well. I have been struggling with this since I was 19. I am 32 years old now. But I would say I have been more serious about getting sober for the last 2 years. It seems to just keep going down hill or gets worse each time. I always thought there would be 1 rock bottom but I have had many. I have lost relationships, jobs, and sometimes my right mind. I get stuck in cycles. I am a bartender so I am around it all the time however the problem lies at night and I think I can have a couple and have fun like everyone else but always end up getting drugs feeling depressed I have ended up in very questionable situations bc I don't know when to stop. I have gone maybe a week w out drinking every once in awhile. I feel great when I'm in that place of focus. I read, meditate, watch my fave shows, cook, bake etc... but all it takes is that one time then it's all over. I end up feeling guilty, shitty, shaneful,embarassed,stupid, and most of all mad at myself. The benders last 2 or 3 days and I don't care about anything important when I'm in that state. For instance this weekend I started Fri night and finally stopped this morning. I did not show up for work 2 days in a row and now I'm scared I'm going to get fired. Even though I know it always ends the same I can't figure out why I think it's gonna be different. I feel like I'm missing out if I don't drink. I also drink to stop my brain bc I'm constantly thinking and it also takes away the pain for a sec but then I actually get more depressed and hurt and I get bad anxiety I feel like I'm going to die sometimes then I pray not to. Then other times I'm so depressed I wish I could end it all but I never really want it. I feel alone in the world a lot of the time and I feel stuck... not too sure what my life's purpose is I feel like I think negative a lot and I'm trying to change it but it's so hard and I feel like I get judgemental and everything I learned growing up I'm trying to reprogram my mind. I live in forest park and I found an aa meeting that's right down the street from me they have 10 meetings a week. I really want to become sober and work these steps. So I want to go tomorrow and I thought to have an online discussion group would help me as well. I have never had a sponsor before but I feel it's very crucial at this point. Thank you for reading this and if you guys have any tips or opinions on how I even get started thst would be greatly appreciated.
April 17, 2017 4:27 AM
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
First of all, a big ‘well done’ to you for recognising that you have a problem and making that big decision to get help. This can be the start of the rest of your life.
You are now feeling bad after coming off a bender and you are willing to tackle the problem so strike while the iron is hot. If you delay for too long, your alcoholic thinking will try to tell you that your drinking is not really that bad and maybe you don’t need to do anything for now. You know just how bad it is and I can tell you that unless you take action, it will get much worse.
It is fortunate that there is an AA meeting so close to where you live and there are probably other ones not too far away so try to get to different meetings. AA is not the only way to get sober but it does work for a lot of alcoholics, providing that they are serious and willing to change.
If I were you, I would arrive early at the meeting, perhaps twenty minutes before the start time. This will give you the opportunity to talk to other members over a coffee and that chat can be as important as the meeting itself. Sometimes there may not be so many female members at some meetings but there will usually be quite a few, even if some of them may not arrive early. Be aware that as in any other walk of life, there will be some men there whose motives are less than honourable, but that does not mean that every man at the meeting is your enemy – quite the opposite in fact. Most of the men who will talk to you will do so for the right reasons.
People are sometimes nervous about sharing at meetings but you do not have to say anything unless you want to. However, I would strongly encourage you to share a little about yourself, even if it means getting out of the comfort zone. The most important thing to do, however, is to listen. Pay particular attention to ladies who have the sort of sobriety, calmness and self-confidence that you would like to have. After a while, you can ask one of those ladies if she would become your sponsor and guide you through the Steps. The person you ask could refuse for any one of a number of reasons that have nothing to do with you so if that happens, don’t take it personally – just ask the next person on your list of potential sponsors.
I wish you all the best on your journey and don’t forget to post a progress report.
1is2many
Everything in your post I can relate to and so will many of the members in this group. Alcoholism creeps up on you ., it's conniving, manipulative and damn right ugly.
How the booze brain makes you feel is the same for us all - you're definitely not alone my friend!!
Post when you feel like it, seek help and support from the guys on here and visit often if only to read some of other member stories xxx T
Each of those chemicals is difficult to quit on its own. Combined they make a third chemical in your liver called cocaethylene. This itself is an addictive chemical. So even when I quit the cocaine my body craved the cocaethylene every time I drank. I had to quit both for over five years before I could drink and not crave cocaine. Unfortunately, alcohol is a problem for me again.
AA will help get you on the road. For the years you have involved in the behavior, besides the addiction, you'll need to do a lot of work to change the habit. They are two different things. The habit change is really important for longevity. Unfortunately that can include radically altering your social life and even where you live. But your life and sanity are worth it.
Another important element is to address your psychology of use. For me, I self medicate to control my emotions so I'm working with a therapist to regulate my emotions without substances. Depending on what psychological drives you have in using I can recommend some books that have really helped me.
You are sick from chemicals. This isn't your fault. Try to give yourself grace and deal with your illness without shame and judgment. It isn't easy. But try to know you are sick and need help getting better. It can take months to years of sobriety for your brain chemistry to get healthy again. Quitting for a week here and there isn't long enough to get healthy. Be patient with yourself.
Most likely you have lost that job, but you don't know. Right now you're doing what we all do, beating yourself up. Try not to do it for too long. Also, try getting some professional help. The job isn't helping you get anywhere, and it will keep you going back.
I was stuck in that same cycle when I was younger for many, many years. That cocaine is such a sleazy, dirty thing. Always promises to make you feel so good, and have a great time, but after...well you know. I went through that over and over. I would pray while coming down to please have a heart attack so I wouldn't have to feel that way, and because I knew I would do it again. I couldn't stop. It's a really evil drug, and along with the alcohol, which is a depressant, that just makes you want to do the whole thing over again.
Take it from someone that knows. I'm a bit older than you, but I lost everything that ever meant anything to me in life. My wife, my children, jobs, family, self-respect and on and on until there was just nothing more. Not even my spirit. I was so lonely, depressed, and thought of suicide every day. It was a horrible place that no-one should have to go to. I was sleeping in the parks and stuff, and so alone you wouldn't believe. Get off that merry-go-round now. Your still young and have lots of life. Booze and drugs only lie to you. It never gives anything. It only takes. I thought I hit bottom many times, but I believe that a bottom for me is dying. Don't do that to yourself. Take a break. Get some help. You've got nothing to lose because whatever you think you have, you're going to lose it anyway. Think about it. This could be your turning point. Hang in there. I wish you all the best. James
I wish you luck on your road to recovery. It was an awakening process for me and that was 9 years ago. Today I am happier then I have ever been and I wish the same for you!
God Bless
The stories should resonate with you.
Whereas you can relate to the original post as the experience of the OP is similar to your own, it may be more helpful for you to start a new thread rather than tag on to one that is no longer active.
Why not post your own story and see if you can get some helpful replies?
Good luck on your journey and please know that there is hope for the future.