Hey there, I was there and it was not a good place to be. I couldnt live with booze and I couldnt live with out it. I was hopeless and that is a bad place. One night I had a big bender. Drank alot and then the next day I woke up and had had enough. I was thru. I looked up a group for recovering alcoholics and I went. I found a bunch of people that were like me and had been where I was. I also found hope for the first time. It is possible but the only way for me was to seek help. I just couldnt pull myself up out of the abyss.

I will say a prayer for you and hope that you can find some help, keep checking in and let us know how things are going!

1is2many

Thank you for the words of support! I just can't believe I am back here again! I have felt this feeling before, and yet why would I allow it to come back? I think you are right I need to accept the fact that that is it now. No more! I have spent all day pacing the house and drinking chamomile tea, the only way I can get through this is time but it goes so slowly. Especially when you know there's beer in the fridge and it will shut up your demons temporarily!

The first thing I would do is pour the booze out. Pronto.

My mind would obsess to the point where it would be too much fo me

And get to work. Quitting takes changing it up. This is a disorder of isolation. By getting to meet up with other alcoholics you can fight back.

1-2

Binge drinking like what you are doing is what killed my mother at the age of 52!

If you have family that care about you, imagine, (if you can) how devastated they would feel if you drank yourself to death! Is that how you want to be remembered?

Sorry this sounds harsh, but there is no way I can sugar coat what you are doing. You need to stop and stop now!

I watched my parents commit a slow suicide with the bottle and that left a scar that took nearly a lifetime to heal.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

God Bless!

Hi Lee -- Thanks for reaching out and taking that first step. I was a closet alcoholic and that is a really lonely place to be. Drinking became my job and I was getting worse and worse at it. :) I am still early in my sobriety journey (7 months w/out booze -- 4 1/2 months "sober") but coming into AA certainly was a great help to me and continues to be the biggest tool in my toolkit. We are here for you my brother. You know that the alcohol will only increase not decrease the level of anxiety in your life, so let's get back to work one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Your friend, PG

If you have been drinking around the clock for an extended period of time you might be best off getting to the doctor, urgent care or the ER. At the very least, pay attention to how you feel and get to the ER if you start experiencing heavy shakes, extreme nausea or disorientation. Drink lots of water -- Gatorade is also good as you detox. (Electrolytes and the sugar in it will help.)

Once you get through detox, you might want to consider inpatient rehab, intensive outpatient care, counseling, or other support like AA or SMART Recovery.

Anxiety and drinking often go hand in hand. Drinking causes and heightens anxiety, and anxiety drives the desire to drink. You might want to seek medical treatment for your anxiety if it doesn't lift about you've been sober for awhile.

Good luck!

I agree with 1-2 i couldn't have alcohol in easy access i would obsess and eventually drink. I am handling it better with approx 96 days under my belt, but it isn't always easy! Definately get some medical attention if withdrawl symptoms are to bad. It isn't something to mess around with. Take it one day even one hour at a time. That is all any of us has