Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I'm trying to let things go. The guilt & regret I feel for all of my misdeeds while drinking. Most of this is to do with my kids. They had a lush for a mom but somehow they still love me. I guess I created more good memories than bad.
The sad fact is and what I am most regretful for is that I don't remember many of these things. Or they are blurry.
I always drink to the point I forget things. I've been this way forever. Now I am determined to change that. Be in the now. The now is that they are 18 & almost 15.
I keep thinking of how I screwed up not being sober & of sound mind when they were younger. One Halloween is in my head. I think it was probably the second to last Halloween for my daughter. The last one I recall went really well.
But this one Halloween. I was so hungover. I didn't want to take her trick or treating. I drove around & had her hop out of the car. I threw up when she wasn't looking. I rushed her. It was awful. She still said thank you for taking her. So sweet as always.
It's things like this that gloom over me all the time. Hoping that putting this out there will help me to let it go. PEACE!
The sad fact is and what I am most regretful for is that I don't remember many of these things. Or they are blurry.
I always drink to the point I forget things. I've been this way forever. Now I am determined to change that. Be in the now. The now is that they are 18 & almost 15.
I keep thinking of how I screwed up not being sober & of sound mind when they were younger. One Halloween is in my head. I think it was probably the second to last Halloween for my daughter. The last one I recall went really well.
But this one Halloween. I was so hungover. I didn't want to take her trick or treating. I drove around & had her hop out of the car. I threw up when she wasn't looking. I rushed her. It was awful. She still said thank you for taking her. So sweet as always.
It's things like this that gloom over me all the time. Hoping that putting this out there will help me to let it go. PEACE!
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
When I drank I also drank to black out. My wife probably killed herself partially because of my drinking. I blame myself. Her death was a big impetuous to me to finally get sober. Otherwise I was going to die.
Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves, or we will live in the bitterness forever. It's too bad your daughter was rushed on Halloween, but remember in the future you can give your kids better Halloweens and be a better mom now that you are sober. It sounds like your kids still love you a lot.
Leting things go is one of the most powerful thing that you can do for yourself. I'm linking here to a Namaste Yoga class on Letting Go that might help: https://youtu.be/CDiYM9wBwpg
Today I am a good person. That is all that counts.
My problem was I was holding onto my past and I kept punishing myself by repeating the same old mistakes over and over. The 12 steps of AA helped me to let go of my past so i could move on with my life without having feelings of guilt and shame holding me back. I am not saying this is the only way. I am saying that this is what worked for me.
I wish you luck in finding the path that works for you.
God bless!
I remember the days of being hungover at parades or all holidays. I'm glad I will be sober for Halloween. Help I used to sit on the couch all night and not even go out with the kids.
And it's very normal for certain holidays / anniversaries to stir up the past. It's part of the process peace to u too
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I was a terrible stepmother, bad friend, less than stellar daughter. I'm a good person now. And so are you!
My kids were 8 & 11yrs old when I stopped drinking. I addressed the shame, guilt and remorse. If I didn't, it would have eventually led me back to the vodka.
If I may make a suggestion, maybe you could make an appointment with a therapist, pastor and enlist their help. It was imperative for me to write out all the harms I had done and face them. Not easy by any stretch but I didn't have to do it alone. I recovered in AA. My journey, among other things, has been one of self forgiveness.
Today my kiddos are 31 & 35. Healthy, productive and well grounded. The pain you feel is temporary if you are willing to do the work. Our kids will need us always. It's NEVER too late to be there for them! BTW, I was finally able to parent out of love instead of guilt. Godspeed sweetie. Hugs, Dianna
- Blaming others for how I feel
- Blaming myself for what I did
All pretty useless...on a good day I can be accountable...take responsibility for my actions and feelings without reaching for the Blame Stick to beat me or you up with :)
P