Ok, so stopping cold turkey obviously isn't working, nor is reading the Big Book online. What's your next logical action?

Don't be at your wit's end, because you haven't nearly begun to test all the different ways people get and stay sober.

How about going to an AA meeting, or starting counseling, or learning about Rational Recovery, or starting a spiritual practice or finding some kind of in or outpatient rehab option? Praying is good, but action is better! You can do this if you really want to.

Have you taken a drink yet today? It's my first day again. Never give up. I poured the wine down the sink this morning. If you've already started drinking today, pour the rest out, take a nap and start again.

It sounds like you have tried doing it alone, and it's not working. It didn't work for me either, but with treatment and AA i'm sober and life is so much better. I really hope you'll seek help, and get support. Posting here is a great start, but I know for me there's nothing else like going to an AA meeting and getting in person support from other alcoholics. You definitely don't have to be doomed, just take action and things will get better.

Stay away from the first one...

do one thing today and thats read the first three chapters of the big book of aa.everything u just said is in there.u will identify your alcohol problem straight away.i was just like u for about 17 yrs.if u dont stop it will kill u.one way or the other.talk to me anytime.good luck

Hello ScrantonPA,

You are only doomed to die an active alcoholic if that is what you choose to do. The alternative option is to do what it takes to get sober but that is something that will take honesty, commitment and willingness. The big question is do you really want sobriety?

You have proven to yourself over and over that you cannot stay sober through your own self-will. The Big Book, Chapter 4, We Agnostics describes your problem and the solution quite well: If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.

You wrote: What makes someone willing to lose everything for the sake of a drink? Why can't I be stronger than something that it ready to take my life? The answer to those questions is that as an alcoholic you suffer from an obsession of the mind where alcohol is concerned. An obsession is an idea that is stronger than all other ideas and therefore a person who has such an obsession will always drink again, regardless of willpower and regardless of how much trouble drinking caused in the past. At one time, such people were condemned to a life of hopeless misery but that is no longer the case. A spiritual awakening removes the obsession to drink and the proof is all around you in the form of once hopeless alcoholics who have recovered from alcoholism.

The question now is, are you willing to do what it takes in order to achieve that spiritual awakening? The formula is simple: Go to meetings, get a sponsor and do the Steps. Give up fighting a battle that you can never win and look for help. You have no choice where drinking is concerned but you certainly do have a choice about recovery.

Drinking is what you know. Now you have a new pattern -- trying to quit and not succeeding.

It is what you know and it feels like it has become who you are. But it isn't. There is a part of you that does not want to live like this and that is the part that needs to take action. (Hint -- what you are doing now isn't working. Do something else -- rehab, a program, something that doesn't include saying you are quitting and then drinking.)

You aren't doomed to die an alcoholic, but it is something you can choose to do.

I agree with gr8ful2b that you need to do different. Here's a brief list of action items, some of which helped me and might help you. What made me willing was I finally wanted out of the misery.

- desire sobriety
- rehab (inpatient, outpatient, group help)
- regularly attend AA (I got a sponsor and worked the 12 steps)
- stay away from drinking situations for a while.
- work a program for personal growth and self-discovery
- seek counselling. (long overdue and I needed to be sober)
- change attitude.
- Look for similarities and not the differences.
- Self-Talk (daily affirmations)
- Keep a daily journal (did this each night in my first year)
- be honest with yourself and others.
- develop new interests - GOYA (goals, passions, get outside)
- take it one day at a time
- explore your own faith
- don't expect overnight results.
- develop better exercise and eating habits

Sobriety is there for the taking and you don't have to go it alone. Take responsibility for your life and make change happen. Don't ignore options placed before you. Try them all if needed, just don't do nothing and when you do something, don't give up so easily on it. Keep persevering. The idea is to move away from old habits and routines and create new ones, both physical and mental.

You can do this.

Thanks everyone. Never thought this would be how my drinking career would end up. Thought I could stop/control/cut down anytime I wanted. Boy, was I wrong!.

But, I'm working it minute by minute. Only way I can right now.....

Thanks again.

So, as gr7ful2b asked, what is your plan of action?

I always figured I could stop anytime too, you know, if I REALLY wanted too.I was wrong, REALLY wrong. I tried for years to taper it down, taper it off, cold turkey all that bs. When I was finally willing to walk into an AA meeting all that began to change. Set the wheels in motion.

AA was the only program/plan that worked for a family member - the results were 23 years sober until he passed away! He went to parties each weekend and served liquor to others in his home while he drank iced tea.

My father was given a miracle - sober so he could enjoy his family and friends.

I am forever grateful.

WOW...ScrantonPA you took the words right outa my mouth. I just joined because I need to do something!! UUUGGHHH