Aside from attending AA meetings, what sort of action have you taken to get started in recovery?

Besides AA meetings I have tried Moderation Management. I do better with it but still crave alcohol. And when I do drink, of course it is to excess.

What are you doing while attending the meetings? Hopefully the people in the meetings are talking about how they overcame the obsession.

First you have to not pick up the first drink. Then take the suggestions people make like working with a sponsor, doing the steps, possibly a little service work like making coffee, setting up, cleaning up, etc. Become a part of a group and not just an attendee.

For some the obession gets lifted once they've admitted defeat and ask for help. For others, it's a process that comes through working the steps.

The joy comes after doing the work mentioned above.

I tried moderation management too. I cut back as soon as I had a good buzz on.

I find thinking about me makes me miserable. Even if I feel like crap I show up for commitments in AA and other charity work. There is always someone worse off than me.

I don't think you will find joy when you are relapsing every few days.
Personally I've stopped drinking on and off (mostly off) for years now. This time I got serious, and started meetings. 4 this week, my first full week of sobriety.
I felt joyful yesterday. Truly.
I felt joyful because I had gone to an amazing meeting, I had cried, then I saw people from the meeting when I was out with my family. Three saw me and came up and talked, one I saw from my car. She was walking along holding hands with her boyfriend with a smile from ear to ear.
With all that sobriety and support around me I felt god was looking down on me. I also felt like I was lucky to have gotten to the meetings to see it.
I went to bed last night smiling.
I am NOT usually like that btw.

I too have three lovely children, a great career, and a husband I love and vise versa. But......these things didnt alone or collectively give me enough joy to stop. Hopefully this community will.

hang in there. Do some other things.

I attended AA for 3 months before I 'got it'. I was there initially for my Mum and not for me. The longer I sat on the seat, the more seeds were being sewn.

I then had 'the last drink' and realised drink wasn't doing it for me anymore. It had been my solution to life (as you describe above). I had to get me a new solution. That came by getting a HP who put the right sponsor in my path and from doing the 12 step program.

From clearing the past, from doing the work, from being willing, honest and open I have today the life you talk about. It isn't a bed of roses yet it is all manageable.

I am intrigued...why did you first go to AA?

Evolution takes time. We make the decision to want a better life, and then the hard work begins. We stop drinking, we attend AA (or some similar sobriety group), we listen to others who have been where we are and learn from their experiences how we, too, may build a life of sobriety.

The joy and peace that come with being dry and sober grow out of sobriety....they do not appear instantly. We work the AA program until we begin to live it, and then we start to see how much our life has changed for the better.

What worked for me was rehab, working with an AA sponsor, surrounding myself with others who supported me in sobriety, and learning to live the Program.

All of this took time and patience, and the only way I could handle it was one day at a time.

AA is a wonderful, safe place to seriously being the journey to sobriety. Keep attending meetings, find a sponsor, be honest with your sponsor and yourself, and have patience with yourself.

I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for.

Beth - it does take time. Time that you are not truly allowing yourself. The first week is always the hardest cause your body and mind are going through the physical withdrawal. Once you make it past that, your thinking becomes clearer and then you start to see the joy. That was always my problem in the past. I'd stop drinking for awhile and then because things were going good, I would "treat" myself to a drink. And that one would turn into several and the cycle would begin all over again. It IS a vicious cycle and one that only you can break. If you are serious about your sobriety, you will get there.

Good advice here.

Beth-you need to clean out your system. I cannot imagine how anyone can feel "joy" if they are still in detox. I felt relief for it to be over at that point-but joy? I needed about a month to heal.

We alkis are so impatient! We want results yesterday, and with a pittance of effort.

Have you considered going to an inpatient detox? Just a thought.

I just believe she doesn't want to stop drinking...just have those messy blackouts gone.

I hear the love for King Alcohol strong and clear in her

How are you with getting a sponsor an taking the steps? I was in AA for a couple of years and also went to treatment in that time and I was still as far away from joy as it was possible to get.

Then someone asked me why I expected to sobriety and joy of recovery by doing nothing when all the people I was hearing in AA were talking about the action they had to do to get it i.e. the 12 steps, And even then the joy doesnt come instantly, it takes time and sober experience along with the work and there are tough times along the way too.

This is totally a get out what you put in deal and if you are periodically drinking and sitting in AA meetings and not doing anything else then you are not putting in what you need to in order to get sobriety or joy out. Might sound harsh but its true.

Moderation Management is still around? Wow... that don't work for an alcoholic...

The loneliest place in the world is when we can't imagine life with alcohol yet we can't imagine life without it either... that is lonely

I know its tough at first but it gets much better within the first 2 weeks if you don't drink at all, go to as many meetings as you can, pray, get a sponsor and call them every day. I promise it works and you'll see the results. Try it for two weeks and don't drink a drop for those two weeks. I promise it will help and you will see that its possible to quit.

why do you drink?