Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Earlier I posted a "Defeated" topic.
I do feel like shit and I have been suffering for the past week with the thoughts of wanting to drink, but I never drove to the store or searched the house or suggested hubby drink. None of this really seemed an option this time.
I'm not sure the defeat is such a bad thing. EXACTLY what I feel is that there is an insane little monster up in tree holding a bottle of booze and heckling me. "You can't have it! You can't have it!" I know he's not going to give it to me and I know I can't go get it. As badly as I want it, I can't have it.
My booze has been taken away for good. I am mourning the loss of a lover. Gone. All that's left is lust. I will never enjoy booze again. The monster may harass me, but it's got me totally BEAT.
My mouth still waters at the thought of self destructing by the bottle. I get anxious tears in my eyes thinking about that escape. Oh GOD how badly I want it right now. ...But I KNOW I can't have it anymore.
I give up the fight. I can't win. What's next?
I do feel like shit and I have been suffering for the past week with the thoughts of wanting to drink, but I never drove to the store or searched the house or suggested hubby drink. None of this really seemed an option this time.
I'm not sure the defeat is such a bad thing. EXACTLY what I feel is that there is an insane little monster up in tree holding a bottle of booze and heckling me. "You can't have it! You can't have it!" I know he's not going to give it to me and I know I can't go get it. As badly as I want it, I can't have it.
My booze has been taken away for good. I am mourning the loss of a lover. Gone. All that's left is lust. I will never enjoy booze again. The monster may harass me, but it's got me totally BEAT.
My mouth still waters at the thought of self destructing by the bottle. I get anxious tears in my eyes thinking about that escape. Oh GOD how badly I want it right now. ...But I KNOW I can't have it anymore.
I give up the fight. I can't win. What's next?
Peace!
I think I went through a period of "mourning" too but then as I started the steps, I started to ask "what the hell am I mourning? what has been GOOD about it for the past 10 years?" and my answer was NOTHING.
Of course in the beginning it was fun! But it ceased to be fun a long, long time before I stopped. I think I was trying to get back to the fun time again. I finally realized that you never get that time back. It will never go back to being fun once that line has been crossed.
I see the fun times as great memories but things change, people grow and there is a time to find NEW fun. I tried to hold on to that fun for so long as I watched my friends grow up around me, I held on for dear life and the fun never returned.
It's like sending the children that you have raised & nurtured for 18 years off to college. You can never have that sweet little cooing baby again, you have to let them go. You'll be sad when they leave but you'll cherish the memories for a lifetime and anticipate the love and the fun entering a new phase. :)
Hang in there sweetpea! There is still much fun to be had! :)
You drank so much that you really don't want another right now.
I had a similar experience and it lasted for about a week. At day 7, I felt the surrender start to diminish.
Luckily, I went straight into a treatment centre with all the ambition possible to surrender to whatever they had to offer.
I ended up surrendering to the AA program and 12 Steps.
Don't kid yourself, if you don't replace drinking with something more substantial there is a great chance you will once again go back to the bottle.
Take this opportunity and run with it.
I feel hopeful for now.
~lolo
And I find I never leave the way I go in. I always get something out of the meetings and feel some small sense of peace usually. Just hang in there. Make friends and get phone numbers. Call people when you get the urge to drink. Most of them have been there. When your patience is at an end and your mind is racing people like that can really talk sense into me a ground me again.
Good luck.
Hugs,
Dennis