Please no offense to anyone suffering mental illness as a result of chemical imbalance or past traumas. I know some things are more complex than others. I don't believe YOU choose your suffering, but I do believe I do sometimes and I know I'm not the only one.

yes its much easier to do it the easy way but the hard way has a much better pay off.It also makes you feel so much better. its worth the effort.

I choose not to suffer, but most days my body won't comply. Try being hit by a bus sometime. I do meditation and accupressure. I've had many surgeries (you don't want to hear the stories) and I still have to live this part of my life. I'm grateful that it hasn't screwed up my sobriety, but some days are hell. Maybe science will offer me some relief besides narcotics. I won't take them. I guess they call that "changing seats on the Titanic."

I'm sorry that you hurt Sara, I didn't know you were injured.

Olive-this reminds me of my ex husband. As much as it pains me to give him some praise, on this issue, I must! lol! :)

He was paralyzed from the waist down in the late 90's. This was after we were divorced and everyone (myself included) expected him to become a bitter drunk/drug addict like "LT. Dan" in "Forrest Gump".

His attitude was a shock to everyone and he used those words "Suffering is optional". He is in a wheelchair and has been in several races, including the paralympics. He's a force to be reckoned with on his tennis team, he snorkels & plays basketball!

He is remarried & travels frequently and is doing quite well from what I hear.

He CHOSE to make the best of a horrid situation and is now happy. I think we could all learn from someone like that. (myself included and yes, that hurt to say!) lol! :)

Happiness is optional....choose to obtain it & work at it or let it float out of reach & stew in your misery...it's a choice.

"It is easier to NOT think than it is to think."

not so sure about this one.

It is actually pretty difficult to clear the mind of all the clutter and live in the gaps.

Suffering is a choice. Suffering is an attitude. That doesn't exclude physical injury or chemical imbalance, it includes it. You have a choice how to react to everything that happens to you. Some choose to say whoe is me, it's so hard, it's not my fault boohoo.

Yes it is difficult to be in physical pain, it is difficult to be obsessed with drinking alcohol. But eventually you notice that suffering isn't all that satisfying nor is it helping you in any way.

So you opt to change. Of course, changing is hard, being strong is hard. It's worth it. I'd rather fight than lay down and cry.

Wow, I wasn't even thinking about physical pain. But it's interesting because I did a little research on emotional suffering and physical pain is completely excluded. Physical injury does not cause emotional pain. The repercussions of physical pain may cause emotional dis-ease, but no emotional pain directly related to injury. That said, I am sorry for those who have to endure physical pain or accept physical limitation due to harm or illness. Those who overcome such as HC describes live some of the most inspiring lives of all. Attitude in that case is a choice.

Beso... I thought about my post last night when I laid down and considered meditation. I agree with you, to empty the mind of thoughts is difficult. I guess what I had in mind was "thinking" with respect to problem solving vs, distracting oneself.

Compost... Chemical imbalance or something like PTSD cloud the issue of suffering. If one's brain is depleted of serotonin or a trigger causes an unconscious/semiconscious readtion, that feelgood is going to be much harder to obtain. I excluded it mainly because I have no personal experience to compare to.

This post was really a spin on self-pity, but I hoped to present it without the negative connotation because suffering is suffering when we are in the moment. The CHOICE I refer to is in regards to letting go of past events rather than constantly bringing them up. My dad was an abusive alcoholic - At point do I stop allowing him to have power over me? I personally think I ought to just "get over it" but I get mixed signals that I should talk about it, deal with it, etc. It keeps me stuck.

Thanks for the replies.

I think that unless we are perfect then we suffer. A lot of buddhist philosopy is about suffering, the reasons for suffering and the release from suffering.

A lifetime's work unless one is spiritually perfect. There is some suffering that I can remove quite easily but some that takes longer and is deeper.

There is a saying that I like which is "Pain is inevitable, misery is optional". I am not miserable today and my attitude is different - acceptance of the things I cannot change and courage to change the things I can goes along way to reducing suffering for me. But again I am not perfect at that - I just hope to be growing all the time.

Some examples of those who overcame "reasons" to suffer...

Nelson Mandela... "A Long Walk to Freedom"
Viktor Frankl... "Man's Search for Meaning"
Gandhi

There are many others. Look at children who endure with a smile. It is isn't until we become adults that we start to listen to the victim in our mind. Society conditions us to blame and rewards us for our suffering, for then we have a reason to be less than what we are capable. imo.

i stayed in the victim role for years..i learned at tx it is up to us to be a victim or not....today i am glad i am no longer a victim......

...and then there is the part of society that conditions us to hide when we are hurting.

...and then we isolate.

...and we do harm to ourselves.

Why is it so fuckin hard? It's simple really. Just don't listen to the voice in your head, right?

defeatist.
sabotage.
self destruction.

what ever happened to self preservation and the pursuit of happiness?

Don't mind me. I'm having a "moment". It'll pass.

Suffering is most definitely a choice. But it doesn't have to be. By working the steps we find freedom. Specifically the 3rd step. By working a thorough 3rd step pain is lessened. And by knowing what exactly to turn over to HP our suffering becomes optional, therefore a choice. If we choose to hold onto those things that make our lives unmanagable, then we are indeed making the choice to suffer.

I think that the amount a person suffers is directly proportional to how much they know about themself.

The more I know about my true nature, the less I suffer.

When I was 'out there' active in my alcoholism I did not see that I had a choice and I did not see that I was suffering. My disease never let me see that. It just got me to drink more and more to 'escape' all feelings. Then....came no longer being able to take the disgust, the loneliness, the emptiness, the destruction of my life, the embarrassment, the misery.

The changing moment for me...........entering AA.

Today suffering is a choice as I am spiritually well through the 12 step program and the daily reprieve I am given.

Today I can let go of the past as I have completed the steps and I continue to take daily inventory and promptly admit when I am wrong.

Today I have choice. Today I have life.