BIG HUGS and congrats..................you are a stronger soul then me.


whispers.

I'm not AA, but this constant focus on drinking has recently caused me to think "if I didn't think about it so much" ... maybe I'd stop falling off the wagon.

In some AA meetings, it can be heard that, we in AA don't focus on the problem, that we all know how to drink ourselves into despair, but that we should focus on the solution.

If you find that your group members talk more about the problem than the solution, it could be mentioned that you like to focus on the solution because that's what keeps you sober. Your message can affect a lot of people who are sometimes just not aware of what they are sharing or how it's affecting others.

When I first went to AA I experienced that a lot and believe me it wasnt because I hadnt suffered enough or didnt want recovery badly enough.

It was because I was still suffering from untreated alcoholism, my thoughts were still irrational and insane where alcohol was concerned.

Interestingly it wasnt stories of fun and good times that spoke to me. It was the bleak, dark, desperate stuff that called out appealingly to me - maybe that was the devil I knew.

My experience was that I felt pretty close to that ledge until I had really embraced the steps and was actively moving through them. I had a pretty powerful and personal step 3 experience and after that point I never felt that close to the ledge again.

I cant believe you brought this up- WoW, i have been journaling this privately and editing for the last 3 days!!!!. Itsnot done so I dont want to share an unfinished product, but part of it says this:

"I am trying to see the solution in an ocean of problems.

Everyone seems to want to talk about and dwell on the problem, when I think its more important to focus on the solution. Acknowledge the problem, sure, but hanging out in it solves nothing. I think its key to take the necessary steps to

a) see the problem

b)identify how and when it became a problem

c)what can be done differently to avoid a repeat of the problem"

I am very interested to see where this discussion topic goes!!! Excellent post!

Good points raised about meetings - I think the best meetings are solution focused rather than problem focused.

I believe we need to talk about the problem enough to allow people to identify they are in the right place but that is talking about our experience of alcoholism (3 fold illness, powerlessness, insanity) not talking about drinking.

Then about the solution we have in AA.

If you are at meetings where the main focus is on drinking stories maybe you are not hearing the stuff that would be most useful to you.

For me, In accepting How powerful and how culpable my drinking was. Was reached in alot of ways through listening to others expeirence. I think at a lot of levels I became convinced and willing to give over what I felt was a need, the obsession to want to numb out. I got real busy with step- work because I really did not want to continue a drunken, broken existence. I was Alcoholic that's what i heard and i was willing to try AA solution. Which required some discomfort until I felt reasonably comfortable with The drink question , for me not good to entertain any thoughts of having any more sucess while drinking. "A day at a Time" stay sober "No matter What"
the serenity prayer was very beneficial during times of temptation. Along with much prayer , to relieve the thoughts of drinking making sense, and tons of meetings.
Billy

Anna I love seeing you work your program. We plant the seed sweety and from there we help you grow. :) I love you!! :)Lisa(:

Nicky,

EXACTLY. I hear the most fucked up stories that represent the reason I stopped drinking and it makes me want to go back there.

I had to stop going to mtgs at this treatment facility because all the really fucked up people made me want to drink with their stories.

Now I go to mtgs sometimes where it seems like drinking is glorified. Maybe it's because they are all so much farther past the booze than I am. Dunno.

I was just reading this tonight.

Interesting how meetings can go awry.

http://www.ppgaadallas.org/why_this_group.htm

Hey, I think I get you on this. I remember a woman on here who would not go to aa because sitting around talking about drinking made her want to drink. I don't get that myself-but if I am around people constantly relapsing I kind of wanted to go out and party with them. That was when I was not interested in long term sobriety. I don't know with you though-this could be a problem. I am going to think about this one-I really don't want you to be triggered!

Ooops.

I thought what I read was in that link. It was actually in a word doc on that website. I cut and paste in below. (from the founders meeting link)
"And then we hammer the statement on page xx:
50% never took another drink
those who did drink returned and found permanent sobriety
So, 75%+ who had Sponsors who followed the clear-cut directions in the Big Book were successful in sobriety. Then Bill published the 12&12 in 1953 and by 1965, our success rate had dropped to 50%. Unfortunately, many newcomers are encouraged to try to use the 12&12 as their source of directions. Bill W. was the principal author of the Big Book and the sole author of the 12&12. On page 17 of the 12&12, Bill stated, The Big Book was and still is the basic text for Alcoholics Anonymous.

Then, in the late 60s, we started discussion/participation meetings that failed to stick to our singleness of purpose so by 1980, we had dropped to 33%. The result of which was we started ignoring the practice of focusing on OUR Solution and we drifted into group therapy. For recent years, our success rate has decreased to what appears to be less than 5% for those finding as much as 5 years sobriety. (Refer to Bob Bacons article and the information from The Price of Dont Drink and Go To Meetings, What Happened plus the XXXXX InterGroup stats and BOX 459 stats.)

While there has been a dramatic change in our Fellowship, the Program has remained unchanged;"

It's natural for an alcoholic to have obsessive thoughts about drinking, the most natural thing in the world. Do you have a choice about the style of meeting you go to? Do ID meetings trigger you more than discussion style meetings or Big Book meetings etc? If so, maybe you could shift the emphasis to those.

I think this about risk management as well. When you leave those meetings, do you have someone, a sponsor, or other trusted AA members who are strong and program focussed? Can you make arrangements with several people that you can call them at odd hours when this happens? You need a safety net and white knuckiling can only work for so long and the outcome can be a drink.

The other thing is to ask you where you are in the Steps. The more solid progress you make through the Steps, the more you are likely to have greater and greater strategies to draw upon.

This isn't something you can be expected to think your way out of - it takes concrete steps and strategies to get relief - and you CAN get relief.

Ok I thought.....You are perhaps looking for loopholes? Your disease is searching for excuses? I don't know at all, but just think about it. Could you be looking for a back door through their stories-like wow I never got that low, I can drink more cuz I am not that bad yet...........

Hi Anna. Have you found that face to face sponsor yet? If you are using an online sponsor, you are shortchanging yourself.