Hello Bendnotbreak,

Some things are possible but unlikely.

It would be nice if I could tell you what you want to hear but that would be telling you a dangerous lie. Therefore, I will give you an opinion based on my own experience of where I think you are now and the choices that you have.

There are two aspects to alcoholism and you can examine how they relate to your own drinking. The first is that gradually and slowly over a period of time, drinking becomes an obsession. People who have this mental obsession for alcohol will often be unaware that they have it or else, they will be in complete denial. They will often try to minimise the problem, using such language as “going for a drink” or maybe in your case, “I truly enjoy having a few beverages”. The fact that you are having a few drinks every day is a flashing red light that may indicate that drinking is becoming an obsession.

The second aspect of alcoholism is a physical change that takes place in the way that the body breaks down alcohol. This abnormal reaction produces a craving in the body for more once a drink is taken and each subsequent drink makes the craving stronger. It looks like you have developed this condition and that is why you cannot stop at a few beers.

There is presently no known cure or method of reversing the abnormal physical reaction to alcohol. The only solution that works is to avoid taking the first drink that triggers the craving for more. A person who has this condition will be unable to control his or her drinking for any long period of time.

If you are not too far down the road to alcoholism, you may be able to control your drinking by setting limits and applying your willpower. However, it is possible that you have gone past that stage and that your only safe option is to stop drinking completely. Alcoholism is a progressive condition so if you continue drinking, it will get worse – much worse.

The issue with me is once I have just one the need for more is very great. I cannot stop at one as that illistrates I am an alcoholic. I also have a desire to know when the next drink is going to be. I will get irritated if there is a delay. I cant say what you are, but I am alcoholic
1 i crave more when i do drink
2 i crave to have the first drink

There is just a different biological make up in me. My wife is able to have one and then stop. Not me, I am lookin g for the escape. The feeling as all is right with the world. Only if i drink lots of negative things happen, I quit caring for myself and my life. I become angry and isolate.

Today I choose to go the sober way

1is2many

PJ, I openly admit I'm an alcoholic. Yes it is hard for me to stop at just one. I do look forward to that first drink so much! I even wait for the clock to get past 1pm and then I will crack my drink open. I haven't had a drink in 6 days and I know that's not a long time. What my routine was, is I will go on a drinking spree for a couple weeks, then realize I've gone too far and then I will stop for a couple months, only to think I'm better and can control it and try again and fail. Thanks for the information! I never knew about that.

1is2many, yes I'm an alcoholic. I feel the exact same way as you mentioned. Drinking is a quick escape that helps me relax both mentally and physically. It makes everything better for just that bit of time and than afterwards it is worse. Like I've mentioned above, I haven't had a drink in 6 days and I'm doing fine without it. I'm glad you have chosen to be sober!! Hopefully one day in look back and say, 'wow...it's been years since I've had a drink'.

The insanity of alcoholism is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. You will know better than anyone that bad things happened in the past when you drank but yet, after being sober for a while, your mind will convince you that it would be OK to drink again. It is said that a person who has an obsession for alcohol is defenceless against the thinking that leads up to taking the first drink. A small child who touches a hot stove will store the painful experience in the sub-conscious mind and will not go near the stove again. Yet, an alcoholic who gets burned many times by alcohol will block out such memories and will go back for more.

If you are to break the cycle of periods of sobriety, followed by yet another binge, you will need to bring about a big change in your way of thinking. The good news is that you can do exactly that, but you may need help. When I tried everything and failed, I turned to Alcoholics Anonymous and that was where I found the answers.

Pick a quiet hour when you will not be disturbed and take a look at the video at the link below. It contains information that every alcoholic should know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMC62Y_5dyE

About a year ago I went 10 1/2 months without a drink and thought I could master the art of self control. One evening I had one pint of beer at a local restaurant and was good. A couple nights later I had one pint of beer again and was good. A few days later I had two beers, and was good. A few days after that, I had two beers again, and I was satisfied. A week later, I took a date out for dinner and had five glasses of wine with the food at two at the concert we went to afterwards. From there it got worse.

So I am on my fourth day of sobriety today. I am convinced now that I am powerless with alcohol in any form. I am today and always will be an alcoholic, regardless of what I think or want. Thats okay, it could be worse. But I'm different from the my girlfriend who can have one glass of wine and be good. I never will be.

Yes, I get the desire to fit in and have a glass of wine or a martini to unwind with friends, but we'll just have to find something else. Social situations are the most challenging for me, and that's where I failed a year ago, and my first attempt at recovery a week ago. Accepting that I'm powerless over alcohol is something I really didn't get before. Yeah, I'm a guy who doesn't like admitting he's powerless over anything, but on the other hand, I realize it's kind of stupid for me to keep putting my hand back on the hot burner. This time I'm feeling pretty good about winning this battle...

I don't have any answers but your not alone

I dont think I know whether or not I'm powerless to alcohol. I have never been to an AA meeting but I'd like to try to find a group near me. I guess mentally they would tell me I need to realize I'm powerless to it and that I will always be an alcoholic and that may be...but I'm someone who HATES permanency. And the word 'always' is a little to permanent for me to agree on. I feel like anything is possible if the desire and will is strong enough. I'm really glad I found this site because I have not been able to talk to people who share or have shared my exact problem​. Also it's amazing that I did g even have to really describe my issue and how I feel because someone already said it...said it better than I could. Thank you!

Shess, I truly hate that we struggle with this but yes, it helps to know we aren't alone.

I totally get what you mean about permanency and the reluctance to say "never" to alcohol. That and the social aspect have been my biggest hurdle. But I think we tend to look at it in the wrong perspective sometimes. When I had gone six months without a drink the last time, I didn't feel restricted at all, but liberated! It was only when I forgot all the shit that alcohol had cost me that I began drinking again. So, here I am, trying to permanently free myself from that bondage again. Anyhow, that's my take on it and so glad you're here and discussing it freely!

Yes, social occasions are a huge battle for me too! I've noticed it helps greatly to order a non alcoholic drink as my first choice and usually from there I don't end up purchasing an alcoholic drink. Drinking a ton of water helps too because it makes me so full I don't want anything else to drink. I'm so glad you are on your 4th day of sobriety! Today is my 7th and I do feel much better physically...but unfortunately the mental urge is still there and very strong... especially when I've had a shitty day. I try to get out of the house and drive around when the urge is really strong.

I don’t think that I could ever get sober if someone told me that I could never drink again. What they told me in AA was to try not to drink for TODAY.

I can choose to drink but I know exactly what would happen and why it would happen. Kevin105 describes it perfectly. I am pretty sure that I would enjoy a few drinks and leave it at that. The problem is that tomorrow or the day after, I would do the same again. Probably within about one week or two at the most, I would be back to drinking all day, every day and would be thinking about making sure that my last will and testament was in order.

I am powerless over alcohol for two reasons. The first is that for me, drinking becomes an obsession and no matter how strong my willpower is or how many genuine promises that I make to stop drinking, I would find a reason to justify drinking again.

The second reason that I am powerless over alcohol is that once I take a drink, the body craves more. There is no cure for this condition and no medication that can reverse it. Therefore, if I took a drink tonight, after almost nine years sober, I would be back to where I left off all those years ago.

Of course, when I was trying to stop drinking, I would not have believed any of this. I was good at fixing problems at work and had every confidence that I could fix the alcohol problem too. Then one night, I found myself at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous – if I was not powerless over alcohol, an AA meeting is the very last place I would be.

I didn’t like being told: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic” but whether I liked it or not, that was reality and there is not much sense in fighting reality. It’s not bad though – all I have to do is stay sober TODAY.

Exactly, it becomes an obsession. I like the way you put it. That's exactly what it is. Does that urge ever go away? Or is it like a tobacco habit where even if you have quit.the craving is still there just not quite as much?

Some people call it a compulsion and many call it an obsession but the words don’t really matter. There is much debate and differences of opinion about whether or when it goes away but here is how I see it.

An obsession for alcohol can be likened to a tape that is running in the mind of an alcoholic, telling him or her that alcohol is needed in order to function and survive. When the person stops drinking, the volume on the tape gets turned down and to paraphrase Bill W, founder member of Alcoholics Anonymous, “the goose hung high” and all seems to be going well. Then something happens – it could be an argument, passing by a particular place, a smell, a warm or cold day or any one of a million things – and the volume gets turned up. Before you know it, you have that “I’ll have just one” thought and the circus is soon in full swing again.

So, no, for most alcoholics, the urge does not go away until some changes are made to the way of thinking. The purpose of the AA Twelve Step programme of recovery is to bring about those changes so that the urge does go away. I was once so fond of whiskey that I would gladly have drunk it out of an old shoe but today, I have absolutely no desire to drink. People who stop drinking but fail to change the way of thinking often struggle. Some will relapse and even those who do not relapse are often unhappy with their sobriety.

I think that I posted a link to a video earlier in this thread and I would urge anyone who is new around or who is struggling to watch it.

Wow reading through all of this sounds a lot like me I don't drink everyday or even every week but when I do it's all I think about

I know that for me personally,I will never drink again.I know that I can't because I have no control over it.

I'm going to watch that video now. I want to have control over it and I don't want to have to hit rock bottom to get there. The fact I'm even trying to work it into my life here and there is irritating to me...why can't I just never drink again??
We are going away for the weekend in the middle of June​ and I know I will want to drink a few seeing as we will be camping and sitting around the fire and having a good relaxing time. Any advice for that type of situation?