I'm not used to posting responses since I don't want to steer anyone wrong, still so new to sobriety, but so many of these comments resonate with me. I'm on day 24 of no drinks, and can definitely say that my drinking had become an obsession over the years. I would tell myself I was going to quit drinking, and then quickly would have so much anxiety about the thought of not drinking that I would cave and drink just to get rid of the anxiety. I am also a person who, once I had my first drink, would immediately start wondering when I was having my second. It wasn't like I was drinking to have fun, or to have the feeling of being buzzed, but just drinking to get to the next drink and eventually pass out for the night.

Recently, I decided that I didn't only "want to want to stop drinking", but I actually WANTED to make the jump to stop completely. Something just clicked for me. Even now, with feeling great mentally about my choice in not drinking moving forward, the thought of NEVER being ALLOWED to have another drink causes stress. And habitually in the past, I would drink to relieve stress. So I just have to stop myself from even thinking about it and remind myself that for the moment, this is what I want, I am happier without the alcohol, I feel better without the alcohol, and thinking so far ahead to the future just isn't worth the stress. I remind myself that this is my choice to not drink and try to let myself feel empowered by this. I remind myself that in this moment, I feel good, and who knows-maybe the what-ifs for the future situations won't end up coming up because i'll hopefully continue feeling this good.

I had the same exact concern with camping (and concerts, actually). I just talked to my husband about camping last night, we plan on going a lot this summer-maybe (hopefully!) this weekend, so it will be my first time actually going and staying sober since being a kid. The way i'm looking at it is that i'm actually genuinely excited to try going my first time sober. I'm excited about waking up feeling good in the morning, and hopefully getting more out of any hikes or anything we may end up doing during the day. Enjoying the sunshine without the slow feeling that I would get with the drinking, and not having to worry about pacing myself when I want to drink more (and quicker) than anybody else. I guess my advice (while still being new to this sobriety thing) is to try to look at the trip from a different perspective, if at all possible. I also kind of look at my husband for reflection on my own feelings-my husband still is a drinker (he's working on slowing down and is super supportive of my sobriety, but we're just at a different stage at the moment), and sometimes in situations where he's drinking and i'm not (like around the fire pit in the backyard), I look at him drinking and it makes me realize that i'm happy to be able to not drink and still enjoy myself, and realize that i'm really not missing out on anything by not drinking (I have learned already that I enjoy the moments being clear minded more than my fuzzy slow mind), and also know that i'll end up feeling good in the morning to enjoy the day-so I roll with that perspective.

Lots of luck in your journey!!!!

Thanks so much for your reply and advice! I agree that feeling clear and level headed is much more liberating. That feeling of remembering what it's like to have a hangover and feel even worse the next day is what definitely makes me say no to alcohol

My husband has your same struggles. He has tried controlled drinking and "making deals" with me to just fail every time which in turns makes him feel worse about himself which then makes him want to drink more....thus the cycle begins.

My advice is to find other methods to relax your mind and feel free. It will give you confidence and can likely lead to more success for you. Bless you for being aware and even trying. I'm at the point with my spouse that I dread vacation with him, don't invite him to social outings with myself and kiddos. It sounds like being included in social events is important to you so tread lightly so that you may be invited on many camping trips!

I have been struggling with the same question. I stopped drinking for 12 years, and recently started back, telling myself I'll just have wine, or a couple of beers..it hasn't worked out well for me, and even though I want to drink, I love beer, I can't stop at 2 and once I get so far, I will drink until I black out if I can. And black outs now as opposed to years ago, are more frequent and require a lot less alcohol than they used to, for some reason. I recently (August) got my first Dwi I am learning all over again that I just can't Drink. I have a physical allergy to alcohol and it causes problems in my ability to function as a normal human being(work, relationships etc) even though I want to try to continue to drink, and "control" it this time, it's actually controlling me and will always control me as soon as I take the first drink. If it's caused you problems, I'd say you are probably like me, alcoholic. I know it, and it's just not worth all the effort and problems it causes for me. Good luck to you. I can definitely sympathize and relate to your dilemma

Utah, thank you!! It truly is a struggle. However I don't ever have to be worried about not getting invited to any social events as our family and friends all are drinkers. A few of my family members have drinking problems also. Our friends just live to drink when we are all with each other like we were young again lol.
I should clarify that when I do drink I don't go overboard​ unless we are at a concert or a large social event. What I usually do I I will drink until I'm pretty good and drunk but I don't black out...I've done that maybe a few times in the past.

This is why it is especially hard for me to quit because of all the family that drinks, some people that I look up to drink, all our friends drink...it is something I will need the extreme will power to do.

What I found was that no amount of will power could ever help me quit. I needed help. I needed support. The 12 steps of AA were a tremendous help to me. I got a sponser and did the steps and did not have anymore cravings. I went to my nieces wedding, over 200 people were in attendance, all were drinking heavily while I watched in quiet amusement with a coco cola on ice in my hands. (I told the bar tender I was driving) proving to myself that I could still have fun and be sober at the same time!

God Bless

Thank you Bob. I looks online to see if there were any meetings near me. I must not be doing it correctly because I haven't quite found one that suits me.