Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I read this book by that smoking guy Allen Carr and he wrote that as alcohol is an addictive substance then everybody who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic. So is everybody an alcoholic? Is there anyone who can really give or take alcohol? Or does everybody crave it after the first one?
I do sometimes wonder in meetings whether the reasons that I can relate to people is because they are describing what it is like to be human rather than desciribing something that separates us from the main stream. Has anybody ever taken somebody to an open meeting and that person has said that they could relate to nothing that was said at all?
I do sometimes wonder in meetings whether the reasons that I can relate to people is because they are describing what it is like to be human rather than desciribing something that separates us from the main stream. Has anybody ever taken somebody to an open meeting and that person has said that they could relate to nothing that was said at all?
Sorry, but methinks he dost not knoweth what he speaks.
Yes, I took my big sister to an AA Meeting. Afterward, she told me that she didn't relate to anyone that shared (but she did things while drinking that I couldn't even imagine in my worst drunk!!).
I was in denial for years before an actual desire to be sober appeared. I believe I had that moment of clarity where I saw the ugly truth as it really was,rather than the lies my disease told me!
So, if Joe blow drank every day consistently for a year I say no matter what he is an alki-I believe it is first and foremost defined in behavioral terms. And, as a human, every single one of us has the biological capacity to crave alcohol. Then the mental/spiritual stuff comes in and it then becomes completely subjective.
I don't think though biologically your body "craves" booze unless you are hooked. Just like coffee-I am "hooked" I need it or get a headache. Then once I am weaned I may be able to drink it once and a while, no biggie. Alcohol? Never! All or nothing-that is it.
I don't subscribe to his view of alcoholism at all.
If a 'normal' drinker goes to an AA meeting and hears people talk about how 'mad' they were when they were drunk and all the trouble they got into, they will probably recognise the behaviour because ALL drunk people behave that way.
However, if you take a 'normal' drinker and describe the three-fold illness to them and talk about the phenomenon of craving the normal drinker has absolutely no idea what you are talking about!
I agree 100% that quite a bit of stuff shared in meetings is about being human. I get tired of this them and us attitude that gets spread maliciously around the rooms of AA. I do this and that cos i'm an alcoholic and all that rubbish.
There is probably little doubt that alcholics are likely to be mentally wired slightly differently from a normal drinker.
But human defects are human defects. Spiritual sickness is spiritual sickness. A case in point:
I spoke to a lady who is the trusted servant entrusted with the telephone home responders servicefor my area the other week. She told me where she was from.
I know someone from her area in the fellowship and replied, oh do you a chap called X who attends a group in Y?
- Don't go to that group - very fundamentalist big book stuff, I believe I'm always recovering.
- Oh really?
- Yes, for example until recently, I didn;t think i was a jealous person, but then I realised I was jealous of other people who had done the steps in the early days - I was jealous of their recovery. So I'm still recovering from alcoholism
- But isn;t jealousy a defect of character? I believe I have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and mind, and it's all about spiritual growth from here on in.
- Well that growth is what I call recovering.
I had to stop the debate there cos, for me, realising that you have the trait of being jealous is just an awareness of a defect that nayone can have, I don't think that is alcoholism. Normal drinkers may or may not be jealous in nature and may or may not realise it, it isn't the illness of alcoholism that they are suffering, it's the human condition.
As for alcoholism itself, well the key factor for me is the allergy as you point out. I too have troubles sometimes distinguishing between the heavy drinker and the alcoholic. But the fact remains that there are people out thewre that can have 1 or 2 glasses of wine and leave it at that. That is just a fact.
As for the heavy drinker, as I say that is more tricky. My best mate was my drinking partner. We used to go on prodigious benders together, I'm talking 17 bottles of wine in a matter of 4 days, plus beers and whisky in the pub and all sorts. The difference between me and him was 1 key thing. At some point in the night, he would say to me, in a slurred drunbken voice, I've had enough now, I think I'll drink water for a bit. That just seemed a foreign concept for me and after we had drunk our fill, he went onto water and I crcked open a bottle of whisky or brandy - every time and he'd be looking on, shaking his head and saying, why are you drinking that now? Why not just have water?
He's now a moderate drinker and I became a chronic 24/7 problem drinker, but am sober now.
The second thing for me, as a description of an alcoholic is the utter inability to leave drink alone when you have ample reasons not to drink. I kept going back to drinking AGAINST my better judgement and AGAINST my will - that's where I am wire3d differently to normal drinkers.
Again the example of my best frind. He was diagnosed with an illness recently which means he can't drink certain alcoholic drinks and has to moderate in general. He can pick and choose 100% what he drinks and when. He will sometimes allow himself a glass or two of wine, and will stop there and willl not touch beer or spirits mas they cause him issues with the health problem he has. Bizarre, that is weird for me. That kind of control is simply a distant dream for me.
Back to the spiritual malady. That alone does not make you an alcoholic in my eyes. Many, if not all, humans suffer from it to varying degrees and it manifests in different ways and to different extents.
It is, however the root of a lot of my troubles though and can lead to active alcoholism very easily.
So, in summary, even the big book recognises that normal people have the dubious luxury of anger/resentment. We do not have a monopoly on that or other human conditions.
The big book also suggests that an alcoholic can be normal in every respect expect when it comes to alcohol. It goes on to describe different types of alcoholics in the Dr's Opinion and Chapter to the wives. These are personality types in my opinion - all with the common physical element.
Good post, it got me really ranting, thanks.
One day, he began to feel unwell - he went to the doctor and after some tests it was confirmed that he had cirrhosis of the liver. His doctor told him that he must stop drinking alcohol completely and immediately - so he did. He simply stopped drinking - he didn't need a detox, he didn't need treatment - he just quit. He is not an alcoholic - he simply drank more than his body could cope with.
He jokingly told me the other day that the term alcohol abuse cracks him up cuz he gets this picture in his mind of someone beating up a 6 pack and then bringing it flowers the next day for makeup sex. The fact that he said 6 pack just goes to show how clueless he is about alcoholism or alcohol abuse. 6 pack???? Too funny. He is such a normie.
when i give up, i think of drinking a lot and really want it even though it was ruining my life,
i believe its calling me back, decieving me into beliveing it will be ok THIS time,
maybe it is spiritual thing, but why not everyone has these problems i dont know, and dont care, im just glad there is a solution i can use.
thanks again