I so get where you are coming from. I was deep in my addiction to booze and my life was just spiraling around me. For years I kept getting in trouble with booze and my wife finally had enough. One morning I woke up and wanted to sleep but she started to walk on the treadmill in our room. That sound ... whoom whoom. Whoom.

I jumped out of bed and was going to kick the door down and go drink myself to death or a small thought hit me. Go to an aa meeting. That was June 9,2012. I had a problem with coping with life and just would stick my head in the sand. I found ways to cope in aa and also found a bunch of new friends. Friends that care.

I tried to do it on my own for years. Couldn’t do it. That’s why I liked booze soooo much. It was a way to escape the pain in life. The bills. The problems. Well booze was just making them worse.

Honestly life is about 1000 times better. I am free of the constant merry go round.

Life is enjoyable.

Hope you find the path that gets you back to enjoying life. Honestly if you asked your husband, neighbor, or relative to watch the kids for an hour while you got some help I bet they would be glad to help. Don’t miss this chance, many ppl have that one time the window opens and then the desire to quit leaves and the booze is al that’s left. Get some hope. Get into action

1is2many

Thank you for the support. I am looking into as but I am not a religious person so I don’t know if it would be a good fit.

I can identify. I went through bankruptcy at about the same time I started going to AA meetings. I was getting a fresh start with my sobriety and a fresh start financially at the same time. Within a few months after I went to court I was able to get credit. I was so happy that I stuck with the bank that offered it to me and have been with them ever since.... for well over 10 years now.

At the time I reached my low I thought my wife hated me also and when I was in detox she visited me on the only day she was allowed to and created alot of drama....I was so embarrassed but I probably deserved It at the time. Over time as she saw me continue to make an effort to stay sober by attending AA meetings on a regular basis, she grew more and more loving and trusting toward me and my AA sponsor helped me through that very difficult time in my life. as well.

My wife never complained when I went to an AA meeting and would do her best to help and support me so that I could attend the ones I wanted to attend.

That was 10 years ago. Today have a great life and am happy beyond measure. Good luck on your road to recovery. May you find peace and happiness along the way.

God Bless

I’m not religious. You don’t need to believe in God. You need to believe in a higher power greater than yourself.

jeff is right, you don't have to be religious to enjoy the benefits of the proven track record of AA, just a higher power or wisdom greater than yourself. Why? Because if we could have whipped our addiction on our own, we would have years ago. By admitting that we're powerless over alcohol and need a higher belief or understanding than what we already have, we open our hearts up to real healing and change. So don't let the religious aspect deter you from trying AA. I'm not religious and I found a fantastic AA group that supports me 100%! Sounds like you could really use the support and hope you give it a try. Good luck and will be thinking of you!

I'm a binge drinker also. Have been for almost 30 years now. I'm also very functional. Like you, I have kids and a good job. But because of my age, booze is catching up to me. I don't feel right overdrinking anymore. And my husband is also an alcoholic. I'm looking to change my life. I've tried Alanon and AA in the past and it's helped. I think I'll go back. You don't need to be religious. Just believe in something greater than yourself (friends, goodness, hope, etc.)

Yes I just believe in the power that is in the very center of the room at my meetings.
1-2

The real thing was for me to admit I was the problem. It was always this or that or them or him or her. I used alcohol to cope with all the issues in life. Problem was I became addicted. It IS a drug.

I needed to ask for help and it was the beginning of the journey for me

There are a lot of different types of alcoholics. In my day I drank by myself in morning, the afternoon and the evening. Every day. I was an alcoholic with full-blown physical chemical dependency.

The common denominator with all alcoholics whether daily drinkers, binge drinkers, black-out drinkers, happy drunks, mean drunks, pass out drunks, is that the alcoholic continues their pattern of use despite the negative consequences.

So if you feel like you are “along for the ride” when the 1st drink turns into quite a few more...then there is a problem with negative consequences. For you the negatives affect you as well as your young family....which is something they experience, but have no control over.

You should seek help. AA isn’t the only game in town, but it is certainly the biggest and the easiest to find. It is also the one that has helped millions of people find a better and different way to handle their lives.

As others have pointed out, AA isn’t churchy at all. In the early days, they made the very progressive decision that it should be about a one’s trust in a higher power of their choosing and understanding rather than God. You can be a Jedi and have AA totally work it’s magic. Others will thank their god, but you want find anyone pushing any particular religion in those rooms.

In order of priority:

1. You. You need help or everything you love and care about has the potential of getting away from you one way or another. You need to do this for you.

2. Your husband. You need to get help so he can have some restored hope that the woman who he fell in love with isn’t gone. It is the most important relationship in your entire life.

3. your family. You want your kids to see just how badass their mom is....in addition to all the other wonderful things you are to them.

4. Money problems. Getting out of debt will take work and you and your family will have to have a “us against the world” (I love that phrase) to get where you need to be and make the best of it whil you are getting there. THE ONLY WAY that is going to work is if you take care of the other things before.

If you are here seeking guidance and support then you are very probably ready to pull the trigger and start a different chapter of your life.

This you can do!

may the force be with you.

Pietro84, I wish my husband would sign up and read your post. He is a binge drinker. I am the lonely spouse looking for ideas. My first Al-Anon is tonight. I am hoping it is not all about learning to live with it, but rather how to help him help himself.

Deathrattle, tell your spouse you are on this site and aware of your problem and how it affects him and the rest of your family. It will mean a lot to him, even if it is just an inch-stone. I wish you success if your efforts to quit binge-drinking.

LarlZ,

I am sorry for your struggles. My mom was the wife of an alcoholic long before her children got in on the act. There is a relatively active and insightful "wives of alcoholics" group here that I regularly share my insights with. You should check it out.

I am the husband of the wife of a recovering alcoholic and the son of a wife of an alcoholic and the son-in-law of a wife of an alcoholic. For those reasons, I find the posts and comments in that group incredibly powerful and, in many cases, so sad in a familiar way.

My last drink was June 3, 1997. Like everyone, I still have loads of problems in my life - just far better problems than I had 22 years ago.

may the force be with you

Thanks Pietro. Wow, you have lots of experience in this area. Thank you for helping everyone with insightful comments. I for some reason am unable to find the Wives of Alcoholics group. I searched under all support groups, 'W' and it is not there, I also looked under the "A's' and don't see it somewhere under Alcoholism. I will poke some more. :)

Thanks again.

Ya....I am kinda textbook when it comes to my experience. 2nd generation, dysfunctional & codependent childhood, and plenty of emotional voids to fill with scotch when I got a little older, and the gradual transition to full-tilt chemical dependency.

Wive Of Alcoholics group is a "community" rather than a "support group" (don't quite understand the distinction, actually) under the "addiction and recovery" grouping.

I hope you are finding support and insights here

Thank you everyone for your support! It’s really helping to keep my head up, I have not sought out a meeting yet but I haven’t drank for almost a week. I know that isn’t very long but ya gotta start somewhere, right? I’m still having marital issues. I don’t know what to do about that.idontknow if my husband will ever forgive me or stop being resentful. But for now i just need to get through the day.

D - The only way you can regain the trust and heal the relational wounds with your husband &family is to take care of your and your problems and give it time for him to see how the changes are all positive. A lot of people think a long term problem is like flipping a switch as soon as one attends an aa meeting of achieves some time without a drink.

The alcohol consumption does stop right away, but becoming sober and authentic about your issues is a far more gradual process. For the family it is even slower sometimes. They want nothing more than to have the old wife back - the one they dated and fell in love with and married. But, alcohol abuse tends to fill life with dashed hopes, false starts, and isolating disappointments....so it takes time for that to fade into the background.

If you’ve got several days under your belt, the desire is obviously there. Congratulations on that - it is a big scary step into the unknown. Get to an aa meeting, it will help you gain perspective and amplify your steadfastness.

As with any other illness or injury, the healing often takes just as long as the illness. You have a cold for four or five days, but still have a little last cough and finally get your normal energy back on day 9 or 10.

I am pleased to read about your early success.

may the force be with you.

I was not able to stay sober. I have been drinking off and on. I drank last night and took risks I shouldn’t have. I was sneaky about it. I’m disgusted with myself. I want so badly to be better.