Meetings were vital in my early recovery. 210 meetings in 90 days. I didn't trust myself to not drink, so surrounding myself with others who were sober and recovered was critical for me. I wasn't working at the time, so I clearly had time to do this. Probably a bit excessive, but it kept the bottle at bay. As I worked the steps and the mental obsession left me, I didn't find the need to be hitting so many meetings, obviously. But I did have to "wean" myself off of them.

Today, I hit 1-3 meetings a week, depending on my schedule. For me, that's where I find newcomers to talk to and/or work with, which is the most important thing I get to do in AA. I get to connect with the guys and gals in the fellowship. I get to hang with my peeps and recharge my batteries, if you will. I share and I listen. Nothing more than that - I keep it simple and it's where I find my connection to the spirit of the program and the people in it.

Thanks Paul. You pretty much said it all.. Sometimes I need to be reminded.

Agree with Paul...in the beginning I went to a min. of 5 per week. I had preschoolers at home, so it was hard to get to many more. As my schedule changed I dropped and added, but still went to at least a couple a week. Today I'm lucky to make it to one a week, BUT I maintain regular contact with my sponsor and other friends in the program. I still get a lot out of them when I go, and still consider them important, especially when I start feeling squirrely. I'm not working this summer, so I will probably get to more. It's good to give back!

One more thing...
I was going to post this on a separate thread, but this seems a good place to do it.

Last week we took my husband's cousin's neighbor to dinner. He was here from LA on business and had just over a year of sobriety. We had a great time, and afterwards my husband took him to a men's meeting. It just made me think how lucky we are to have a program that's so widespread, we can go anywhere in the world and still have a place to go that feels like home. My husband even commented that when he was traveling a lot, it was great to be able to walk into a meeting and connect with people who sober, friendly, and willing to be helpful. Huge advantage in my book!

Thanks Laura. I try to go to one a week but usually end up skipping a few weeks. I think my problem is that I have lost touch and don't know how to participate anymore.

I owe a debt to AA that I can never repay. The very least I do besides being secretary of a meeting and serving on the steering committee, is living the 12th Step by suiting up and showing up for the newcomer, just like those that walked before me.

If you're not sure how to participate anymore, the only way to get back into the swing of things is to start going on a regular basis. Practice, practice, practice.

Love the responses thank you all!
In my first year I went to a meeting a day. Now I go to 4-6 a week. I have three young kids, work full time and so on so its a big effort to carve out the time but its a priority to me and my program.

What do I get in return?
I get to hear others being honest; and when I hear that honesty from other alcoholics it helps me take a realistic and honest look at myself. It also helps me to see things from others perspectives, something that is a blind spot for me often. I have mini epiphanies all the time in meetings based on readings and what others share about the steps / program working in their lives.

But I know I'm not just there to listen. Really y I get to be of service to a program that I owe a newly found wonderful way of life to. I can never repay that debt but I can try. I can show up, I can reach my hand out to newcomers, I can be of service. I can carry a message of hope that was so freely carried to me.

Bob, the importance to others and how often they go is irrelevant to me. They have their own lives to live and heads and hearts to deal with, maybe it's not exactly comparing like with like :)

I had a busy schedule a few weeks back and went without for 10 days, and that's OK. This week I'm probably going to be heading to 3 or 4 just because, and that's OK too.

There's a joy and a power to be had sometimes from just sitting in a meeting and being part of I think. Some days I might be sat in the same meeting and feel as uncomfortable and miserable as anything and that is essential for me too if I'm prepared to sit and watch those feelings. Alcoholics Anonymous was the first thing I ever found that I knew I couldn't run away from...made me come to understand just why I felt uncomfortable so damn often and how much of that was nobody's fault but mine.

I've had a few days like that lately to be honest, so I'm off to a meeting to sit and be uncomfortable amongst friends hehe.

P

Thankyou all, I loved all these responses.

I have been listening to too many AA bashers lately. A potential date told me she didn't get what we got from telling our problems to a room full of strangers and I honestly did not know how to reply even though I knew how important the 12 steps were.

Hello bobinmaine,

You have some good responses there and it looks like you already know how important the meetings are to recovering alcoholics. However, always bear in mind that the meetings are a support mechanism and recovery comes from the programme.

I could probably get by quite easily with one meeting a week but I go to three and occasionally more than that. I do not have to go to so many but I go because I want to and because I like the meetings. I am also a group member and that allows me to put something back into AA through service.

Last Sunday evening I was driving along the road near home and there were a lot of people around because of the holiday weekend. I began to think about all of the fun that there would be in the bars, with singing and fine-looking women and how nice it would be to go in there and have a few drinks. Then I remembered the reality of what it used to be actually like when I was drinking. For a start I could be in a crowded bar and feel so alone that I may as well have been on the moon. Secondly, I would not stay there for long anyway because I needed to drink quickly and people would notice how much I was drinking (and then driving home). The reality was that I would end up in one particular bar where there were a lot of people who drank in the way that I did. There would be very few fine-looking women there and very often the only conversation would be with the barman. If I stopped going to meetings I could very easily forget about the reality of where I came from and I have a feeling that my thinking would bring me back to that barroom again.

It would be good if you could try and get to at least one regular meeting every week and let nothing come before that meeting. You can participate in very many ways, from talking to people over a coffee before or after the meeting; joining a group and helping to run the meeting; sharing at the meeting; encouraging new members; providing transport to bring people who do not drive etc.

You will always get AA bashers and that is understandable, especially among people who do not have a drinking problem. It can be difficult for social drinkers to understand why an alcoholic cannot drink and even more difficult to grasp what goes on at an AA meeting. Personally, I would not even bother trying to explain it to such people. You will even get other alcoholics who fail to recognise that for many, recovery from alcoholism cannot be achieved by self-will alone. With the benefits of the Steps you can allow those people to have their opinions but you will know what YOU need to do in order to live in recovery.

Just because someone doesn't see what you get from AA or asks you why you are spending time in meetings does not mean that they are bashing AA. If this is a person who means a lot to you, you might want to explain how important meetings are to you -- or not -- that is your choice. Not understanding why you go to meetings, being curious, disagreeing -- none of those things mean they are bashing AA.

But sometimes there is no point in trying to get across a different point of view to someone with a closed mind. They will discount anything outside of their realm of understanding and make proclamations that just aren't true.

Best of luck on the dating scene... must present lots of challenges, not just meeting people, but helping them understand that part of who you are is a recovering alcoholic who is active in AA. (Not that I think that should be your opening conversation!) ;-)

I love meetings, like to be around other alcoholics in all stages of recovery. Like others I went to a lot in early sobriety. These days I go to an average of 3 a week. I do service and like to pass on what was freely given to me. Outsiders of AA often don't understand but then I would likely not if I wasn't alcoholic either. That's okay with me, as long as I continue to do what is healthy for me to stay sober and grow spiritually. Love and tolerance is our code.

People who are not alcoholics (I don't think) can't begin to understand AA or the need for us to go. You have no obligation to justify the need to be a part of AA if that is what is helping you to keep sober. If the person in your life questions this..... you need to be honest and say....AA saved my butt and for me its a life long commitment. They do not need to "get" it but need to respect it. If she/he doesn't then that would be a deal breaker for me.

My husband is a normal drinker and I don't share what goes on in our meetings, but we have had the conversation that if I didn't go I could very easily relapse and he is 100% on board when I say..."I'm off to a meeting"...never questions. Honestly if I had to justify "why" I'm going every time that would be very hard on our marriage.

In the beginning I went to meetings to find out how to stay sober. i went to lots and lots of meetings, in the absence of something else to do i went to a meeting. I needed lots of reinforcement, something to stop me thinking too much, contact with other people etc and the more I got of that the better.

As I have been sober for longer what I need meetings for and how many of them I need has changed. the main reason I need meetings is to provide a place for me to carry the message to other alcoholics. My program, contact with power greater than myself and spiritual condition are the most vital things for me but i cannot have those things without carrying the message and one of the places I connect with people to do that with is meetings.

I don't go to meetings to share my problems or to be reminded of my past. I don't lose the plot and start thinking about drinking if I don't go to meetings. I believe for myself that if i could never go to an AA meeting again I would be able to stay sober as long as I worked strenuously on my spiritual condition including focusing on connecting with and helping others. I wouldn't chose to never go to a meeting again but if it happened I would be ok. if i ever do chose to never go to a meeting again and to cut myself off from that opportunity for spiritual work then I think that would indicate a problem.

What's important is that I stay sober. I needed people to help me. Distraction from my discomfort. Not necessarily AA. Unfortunately they are the only thing around most areas. So go as much as is needed to stay sober for yourself. That might be all the time.

There are many alcoholic myths expressed in meetings that have been disproved. If you find yourself not fitting in that's okay. Just stay sober and wait. Keep working through your feelings. Keep going to AA if you need to. You are going to feel uncomfortable and have alcoholic thinking for a time.

For me, I had to leave AA. I have nothing in common with AA people and I don't want to live their life. I want my own life. I actually got it. But it takes time to recover from the alcoholic haze. You are vulnerable. People can easily influence you.

Look it up on line- alcoholic myths, sos meetings, smartrecovery. There are other ways of thinking about our problem that for me turned out to be much healthier. I kept hitting the same wall after a time in AA. I wanted to stay sober. I had to move on. I did. I'm okay. Freer than I ever was in AA.

Many alcoholics drink again weather they spend their life in AA or not. It's the way we are. It is up to us. Don't drink. Period.