It is a big fucking deal. I'm sorry you are in so much pain.

I hope you can find a way to make it different this time -- stop drinking before you can't drink anymore.

Please consider calling a friend or someone from AA over. Or you can get to the ER or call 911.

You are loved. And we have plenty of love for you... even if you are having a hard time loving yourself right now, we'll try to make up for that.

I am glad you are alive. Please be careful. You are on dangerous ground.

i wish my dad was here. how fuckin pathetic. i fucked up.

i wan tmy dad back

i was suppposed to help him and love him

Honey......you do know that this was planned on your part, yes? Not so long ago you were talking about your husband going away and you were getting out of the house so that you wouldn't drink. It's been like a pithon squeezing more and more breath out of you everyday. I could hear it in your posts your anger and despair building. You know how great I think you are. I still do, as apparently do many others here. Someone said let us love you until you can love yourself. Good advice. You have a special place in many hearts. Lean on us now, Anna.

i want to be with my dad fuck this

you know, anna, one of the best things about this forum is that you can go back and acquaint yourself with the you that is drinking. i had to do that a few times and it became impossible to romanticize getting drunk. it was not fun. it was soul sucking. i was diminished, depressed, and drowning in the well of self-pity, loss, and grief. you have all the bells and whistles to have an incredible life beyond your imagination.

use this. don't forget this. your experience WILL benefit others. i promise you that.

my dad would havev understood he would havev helped me throu this, i nevevr even told him i lovevd him. hes su t gone

fuckk it!!!!! i havev nothing to live for. fuck. i dont........

i'm ok. this will pass.

are you drinking alone???

Yep, you're one drunk cookie right now.

What would your dad have done to help you? What would he say and want for you right now? Think about your dad, have a cup of coffee or better a nap.

Anna, I love you to bits and I am going to post a part of the Big Book here for you to identify with when you wake up tomorrow:-

'The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.'

You are without defense Anna. You will drink and keep drinking until you deal with your 'hole in the soul'.

Now, you have posted alot here about your Dad and there are probably other things you need to work through to. You are using alcohol as your solution. You need to find the new solution within you (for me that is program).

Stay with us Anna. We have all been where you are now. Today I am sober. I want you to come and join me. I know you want that too more than anything.

See you tomorrow sweet pea x

Anna, look you,ve come along way, dust yourself down n jump back on the wagon. Holding out a hand. Huggs Kirrie x

no reply, does anyone know her personally.....this sounds bad....