Hi howtoolive, I know how you feel it's been awhile since I wrote a journal and for the first time tonight finally got to type it. Hey don't be down on yourself as the same has happened to me for the past six years on and off what a joke!!! All I can say is just try as am doing the same to stay sane and sober it is bloody hard. What gets me we all try to do the best we can and when things go wrong bingo!!! Please don't give up am with you all the way and I don't even know you. Take it Easy and we just have to take each day as it comes. Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow is a mystery and the present is now. Gypsy12

It's a new day HTL. Get up and live yeah. If at first you don't succeed, try try again... and change something because it didn't work first time round. No failure if you do that. Learn and grow.

Sorry to hear Anna.... It took me 3 years to get totally sober. I would drink 1 night, then right back to AA the next day. I did HAVE to do and stay with AA to stay sober. I did not quit AA for years. I went until i KNEW i was not interested in alcohol and was GLAD i was sober. That took probably 6 years of attendance total. Three years sober. Three years getting there.

I knew i had to be around sober people or i would drink. I had to keep myself pretty secluded from places where alcohol was used.

You will make it, Anna. Actually what helped me was not paying attention to that Sobriety DATE. I stopped counting days and months. It was to hard to keep starting over. If AAers asked, i'd just say, i'm not using a date anymore. It is making it harder and more defeating for me. I just wanted to live sober, not keep count.

Best to you Anna,

Pam

I dont know if your awake yet anna. Hope you are feeling ok Today you are sober that is what we all have "just for today"
Recently you were kind enough to comment on my 4th sobriety journal which I really appreciated but as xpd says counting days can be counter productive for many of us.when we start today were ever we are in the world Its our goal to stay sober for Today I believe you can do that.Then lets see what happen's when tomorrow come's ODAAT hugs

No your not!!!But yes!!! it will get worse Never better, without permission. You have mine( permission) now all you need is yours Again!!!AA gave me that, but again it's cause I really really had to want it. I swear there couldn't be any If's And's or but's. Silly talk here Billy, No!!! The truth for Me!!!
Love you,
Billy

Good morning Anna and yes it is a good morning. Today is a new day. Don't look at it as starting over. Look at it as a fresh start.

Dust yourself off and try again Anna! We are all rooting for you.

All my love,

Tessie

If you've got this far in the thread, IMO, go back and read what that cat up there said (just my opinion).

Time to do the whole deal...0 - 12. F2F.

You can, Your worth the effort.

Take the hand.

OK howto, you drank. The good news is you see what works and what doesn't work for you to stay sober. Get back to it.

Dear....ok, don't make it a weekly binge. I just recently had my husband find out, and it was not pleasant for either. 3 days of @ home detox, and I had a panic attack. I asked him to take me to the hospital, where they assured me that I would be just fine, gave me a small prescription of librium. I could sleep, focus a bit more and most of trembling went away. Go to the hospital, talk honestly and rest for a few days. Keep talking to your friends....anyone that will listen, HERE for example

I am not a professional by any means.....are you hear to respond, please talk to us

Oh! Damn girl. but I have to say i thought I seen it coming. I just hope it doesnt carry out all weekend.Your going to do what you want to do just please be careful and stay safe. hugs, sherry

Well since your 109 I jsut dont know if you are gonna get it.LMAO.

Things I do know.
1) My resume for getting here would scare the normal alkie straight.
2) Most alkies don't recover until they meet some kinda complete ruin.
3)You will never achieve normal drinking especially after a good dose of AA.
4)You are a cool chic that is only 30 minutes away. So freakin' watch it!!!!LOL.

go to a meeting today. get away from the norm.

Love you Anna, you are one of my best friends here on DS. You have been so kind to me when I have lapsed so many times this summer. You have inspired me so much because I remember the bottom you bounced off of when you quit 5 months ago. Even the uncomfortable sobriety has got to be better than drinking. Come on girl, get up and walk with us again. You'll be okay. We are here to love you.

I am alive.. I don't want anyone to worry. thing is, i just "can't" / don't wanna stop ever until i physically can't drink anymore. still drinking. just is what it always is. hubby will be home tomorrow - maybe hopefully i can stop by then. i dont want to make this a big fuckin deal. so what i'm drinking. i will get back up and try again. it sucks. it doesnt feel good anymore. just bad, self hate, fucking pain, want to die... fun stuff. it will pass too. gosh i love people why can't i just love me.