Find an AA directory and go to a meeting.

I said the very thing three years ago. I haven't drank since.

Thankyou Jeff.. I haven't tried going to meetings but I have thought about it. I know it's probably somethin that I need to try at this point. I really just thought I would be able to do it on my own. I'm still feeling in disbelief that this problem has gotten so far out of my control. It's nice to know that someone has been where I am and was able to stop.

I lost my two children, my 6yo daughter and 3yo son, before I did what was required to quit drinking and stay sober. I hope you don't have to go there before you realize you might need help.

BTW, others found out the "extent of my problem" all by themselves. They observed my alcoholism first hand; no one had to "tell on me", my behavior did the telling.

ScarletAngel13.. How were you able to finally quit, if you don't mind me asking? Have you gotten your children back? That is what terrifies me more than anything, the thought of losing them because of my problem. I need to do whatever it takes to stop this or I know I will lose them.

After years of trying to "do it myself", I got sober by working the 12 step program of recovery as suggested in the text of "Alcoholics Anonymous". That was 12 years ago. My ex-husband (yeah, I lost the marriage also) retained custody of our children because, even though I was not drinking, I had to learn how to live without turning the booze as my main coping mechanism.

Now my children are grown, 22 and 19, but I have good, loving relationships with both of them. They are outstanding young adults of whom I am very proud. And I have a great marriage to my best friend who is also a sober, recovered alcoholic. Life is awesome now.

I tried a million times to quit but could only go for a day or maybe if it was a bad bender ... three days but I always found a reason / excuse to bang my head against the bar again. I think that is the problem , I thought I didn't need help, I could handle it... well that was not the case. I found help in a room of aa and my last drink was June 9 12. Over 4 years ago. See I needed help, I just couldn't learn what I didn't know. So tonite it's Saturday at11pm and I'm glad I'm not knuckle dragging drunk , cause I was a nasty selfish drunk that couldn't see the pain I was causing. I thought I was just hurting myself but I was hurting my two kids and my wife. It took some work, but today I'm happier and glad to be sober. You can as well if you want
1is2many
1is2many

I am in your same boat:( Accept I clearly know it's a problem. I just can't face the reality!!!!! Soberingly painful!!!!
But never give up.

AA is the solution , read the big book see if you can identify with the stories
the promises are true
This is from someone who has gone to meetings and looked listened and not put what I have heard into
practice , not able to see that a functional drunk is still a drunk
I have been drinking for nearly forty years , I have tried , once nearly seven months I am again ten days without a drink
everyday I think about it and here I sit with my cup of tea one day at a time
and my body already is thanking me , I feel so much better
I wish you well ,
Get to a meeting
love and light to you

Hello gottastop,

I have been where you are now and it got to the point where I had lost all hope for the future. I was what some people call a functioning alcoholic but that began to change at an alarming speed and in a short space of time I got to drinking more or less all day, every day.

Like you, I came to the conclusion that I could not drink anymore and even though I wanted to keep drinking, I made a firm decision to stop. I then discovered that after a few days there would always be ‘a good reason’ to drink and I would try it again and before long I would be back to uncontrolled non-stop drinking. Apart from the important matters of the respect of my family and a wasting a whole lot of money, I had not lost much else to alcoholism but I could see all of that changing in the very near future. Suddenly realizing that life is completely out of control and that there were bad things on the horizon was a scary place to be.

Like you, I wanted to fix the alcohol problem without involving other people as I felt that it was not anyone’s business but mine. Nobody had a clue about the amount that I drank and even when I thought about it myself, I would underestimate the amount that I spent on alcohol every week.

My preferred way of dealing with the problem was to do it on my own but after repeated failures, I had to admit defeat. When everything else failed I did what I swore I would never do and went to an AA meeting. That was some years ago now and I have not had a drink since the night of that first meeting. Not drinking however is only one part of the story; the best part is that life without alcohol is so amazing. You too can have a sober and free life but you will need to take action in order to get there.

Thankyou all for your care and your responses to me. Pj54 Thankyou because your response really hit home for me.. I know I need help, I guess I just have wanted to do it on my own to avoid the embarrassment. I won't let this go any further than it has though. I know I will need further support and hope that when I do I can come here

Gotta, I was scared shitless to walk into an AA meeting. When I finally opened up I broke into tears.

Very unlike me. But the weight of it was too much. It was a good thing. People there immediately rallied around me.

I tried hundreds of times to quit drinking and I failed every single time! Eventually I knew, I needed help. I went through an outpatient treatment program which allowed me to work full time and attend during the evening hours.

It is very rare for one to quit drinking without treatment or without the support of AA or some other treatment option because alcoholism is triggered by underlying problems. In effect, alcoholism is a symptom of other mental health issues! The 12 steps of AA, address those issues but going through a treatment program like I did, goes a little further and helps us identify our triggers and teaches us how to deal with them.

If it were me, and I risked losing my kids, I would do anything and everything it took to get sober! I would not leave anything off the table!

In today's world we want a quick fix, like taking a pill and we won't drink. It's not that easy. I had to face my fears, go through treatment and follow that up with counseling and AA and for all that, I have 8 years sobriety.

I feel for you because I remember those days when I was looking for an easy way out. I never did find it but I found others who had been in my shoes and they were more then willing to show me what worked for them. The tools I was taught while in treatment gave me a big boost and helped me through the early days, when my new found sobriety was still in a fragile state.

I hope and pray that the desire to keep your kids, motivates you enough to do all it takes to stay sober like I did....I know of no other way....

God Bless

Thank you all for your responses and all your care and empathy.. It amazes me. I need somebody right now. I want to drink. I am trying very hard not to do that

I hope you made it through the night without drinking.