I was stuck in the mud and when I finally cleaned up I found more success than I ever dreamed possible. The main thing is I respect myself again. I used to beat myself up mentally and physically. I hated who I was. Not today. Today I can think and be productive.

It's been a breakout year. I bet you can have the career of your dreams and do anything you desire. The world is just waiting for you to make your mark upon it. Cmon

So do you want to land this gig or do you not ? Only you can decide

1is2many

Thank you. I do want this gig. More than anything. I have my claws stuck on it, because it's the first time I've experienced all of my hard work paying off. I realize that I won't be able to maintain this career, if I keep falling off the wagon. But I also realize this career can be gone in an instant, if I out my alcoholism. It's a catch-22.

I was given a wonderful opportunity where they throw money at people who can get the work done on time and accurately and they put us up in fine hotels all expenses paid. I went from near-destitute to this job because I had a software background. I didn't get my addiction under control and--for the first time in my 40 years of work--I was fired (I expected it) and the woman who went out on a limb for me was humiliated.

I got another position in this field for more money! It started well because I was over qualified compared to my peers. All the people around me were fired and was the "last man standing" but others were hired. I didn't get treatment. Within 6 months I got a call and was fired and I was blind-sided, but, later, I had to admit that I deserved to be fired.

I got a third position for even more money! The only difference in the outcome was that I quit before they could fire me!!!!

During the first two jobs I had high goals of starting my own AA group in one of the towns where I was living out of hotels, but only went to meetings without getting involved.

I don't know if you are or not in any self-help at all. You have mentioned only the plan to try another rehab. If you are alcoholic, then you may get the same result that I got but a lot quicker if you aren't involved AT ALL in any self-help.

Good luck.

Alcohol will rob you of your hard work. I am happy you are going to go back to get help. Maybe you need to slow your roll down for awhile? Take care and keep us updated.

Thank you for sharing your story. It seems like you can definitely understand why I'd be scared to go get help again. I know that the right thing for me to do is to go get help before my career really takes off, but I won't allow myself to. Self-Sabotage, may be? That's the only thing I can really boil it down to.

I found that I could not be successful on my own, I needed help and now that I have given up my ego's control, I never have to worry because I always get the help I need, when I need it, all the time and my life has become one miracle after another since I quit drinking and drugging!

God Bless!

Treatment is a good break in the cycle! You get out of it what you put into it! Treatment doesn't cure you, I'M sure you know that, as you have been there before. I went several times, before I got sober on my own! You have to want it desperately and stay sober one day at a time, some days in the beginning are real battles! If you need treatment, go for it! Ted

Thanks! I just finished my audition. If I don't land this gig, I'll be checking back in.

Has anyone mentioned that there is no reason to go to rehab and "jeopardize X, Y, or Z" --fill in with anything you like--because you can go to AA and get any kind of help you want--including someone taking you into his (for men) her (for women) home?

Rehab. is only one option and many consider it a secondary option.

Current - hope you landed it.
G.

I understand that. I've been in-and-out of AA for many years.
However, it's currently so bad that I'll just show up to a meeting loaded. The withdrawal is that painful.