Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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I'm new and ready for change

Breezy824
Breezy824
Hello. I'm new to this site and I am definitely an alcoholic. I have been one for over 14 years. I am the type that didn't drink every day but once I did, I did not stop drinking. Blacking out was a normal thing for me at least once a week which I always felt horrible about. But last week was the worse ever. I drank every evening and blacked out three times. I knew that it was wrong but I just kept doing it.
I go to work, I take care of my kids and my husband, but I felt disgusting and hungover everyday. I have lost touch with my friends and am not as close to my family but even though they have seen me drunk in the past I am pretty positive everyone thinks I have grown out of that. My work has no idea, it is a secret I think only my husband knows. I have two small boys but my oldest is six and a few times he has been talking about something and if I say I don't remember talking about this then he will say "I'm sorry to say this, but it could have been when you are drunk" it broke my heart, I felt like I was hiding it from him but obviously not.
The last time I drank was Sunday and I blacked out, my husband and I got into it and it looks like we might head towards divorce. I begged him to please give me another chance and I will stop drinking for good and if he still has the issues or I don't follow through with my commitment then we will go from there. I feel like I am totally ready for this and it is a much needed change I was trying to avoid. My husband and I have only known each other as drinkers and everything we did or do involves drinking. He is able to stop though after a few and has never blacked out. I am very worried that he won't like me anymore as a non-drinker and that's what has kept me from attempting to quit for so long. But there is no way I can go on like this, it is finally time to give up the alcohol. I just can't control it. I hope to find support and happiness through this site and stay sober once and for all :)
layla54
layla54
Hey Breezy. I'm new also and today will be my first day sober. I haven't had a problem for very long and so I probably don't have as much advice to give as a lot of other people on here who have already had a lot of success in their progress.

But I will say this...I plan on the road of sobriety being long and difficult. I think the best way will be to have small goals. So my goal for today is to just stay sober today.

As for your fear that your husband won't like you sober. I think you need to find how to be yourself and be happy and content sober....and other people will like you. I'm working on becoming a happier person as well. I think that being truly happy with yourself is something that needs to be continuously worked on - no one is happy and perfect all the time.

Anyway, I hope you are having a good day and I hope that we can learn to be sober together.
Breezy824
Breezy824
Thank you, Layla. I appreciate your comment. I agree it is best to take this one day at a time and be happy that I am sober today. It is true if people don't like me when I am sober at least I will be happy. I know that I'm not being disliked because I am a crazy drunk so that is way better. I hope you are having a good day also and look forward to us staying strong and helping each other out
meblonde
meblonde
Breezy, I too met my hubby and drink with him for decades. He does not have a problem and still drinks. a little.. I thought he might not like me or I him. and at first it bothered me. But even though it has only been 5 months. I would rather be sober, not hung over every day, then with someone that did not like the sober me. I think you are worrying to much about him not liking you. At first I was a little short. sort of felt deprived and angry but as time went on, I found myself laughing more with him and easier going then I have been in a long time. After all it is hard to be easy going when you are hung over, or even when at times when we drank. It is a learning experience, but a good one. it is inter peace and that is worth it all..
deleted_user
deleted_user
Welcome Breezy, don't listen to those thoughts that tell you being a sober person is somehow lacking in some way. If the consequences of your drinking are upsetting your husband and children they will probably have peace of mind and a happier time when you are fully present.

I've found sobriety a lot of fun once I got used to it. I have a circle of sober friends today and I actually remember the good times!
JustBeth1975
JustBeth1975
I blacked out frequently too. It seemed like the longer I continued drinking every day the less it took for me to blackout. I would ask my son questions about stuff he had told me the night before. Awkward!

Hope you have a good first day!
stickywick
stickywick
Welcome and very glad you are here. You will absolutely find support here. However, for me, it wasnt enough support to keep me sober. There isnt enough support out there to keep an alcoholic sober until they get to acceptance and make the choice to not pick up no mater what, a day at a time. And to get *there* I needed AA.
AA helped me connect to a god of my understanding and that connection has me living in happiness:) I'd lend you mine but you can find one of your own!.
NMac
NMac
Welcome. You have taken the first step. It's scary but we have all been there before. I am newly sober and so happy to be making each day better w my family. They love you and it will all be ok. Each day we r sober is a gift to those who love us and ourselves. I bet u will find your family's faith restored as u continue to be sober. Take it day by day or minute by minute whatever works. I can say this. I have had many first days but this time feels different an I can only attribute it to finally going to an AA meeting. I would do the online thing for a day or two but to me I guess going to a meeting meant really putting it out there and no going back. I was so scared but it's the best decision I've made. You can do it other ways and there are other programs. Whatever works for u then work it. I'm new at this myself but finally feel hope after admitting to my coworkers and family the truth it was like a weight had been lifted and I wasn't afraid to walk through those doors to AS. I didn't care who knew I had a problem after all everyone in that room was just like me. Good luck n hugs for your journey.
ikers4
ikers4
We are all here to support, share and grow sober together. You van and will do this.:0)
Fish98
Fish98
Breezy, welcome. Your story sounds like me if you switch gender roles. My wife is more of an enabler than drinking buddy. I was my own black out drinking buddy. My drinking was ruining our family and marriage, and needed to stop. I'm close to a month sober now and feel better and stronger by the day. This sight has been great to know your not alone. Hopefully your husband will show you deserved support. Plenty to find here.
SwtLdyLvr
SwtLdyLvr
Welcome Breezy. You have come to the right place for support. I would suggest to you that you find some AA meetings to go to (even if you just go online for a while). You need to get a sponsor to help you through your sobriety. Someone who has been at this for a while will really help you even if you just need to talk. Your story sounds a lot like mine so I can definitely relate. Good luck to you in your sober walk.
Breezy824
Breezy824
Thank you so much everyone for your responses. It really helps a lot. I am remembering that I am a fun, happy person even more so when I am not drinking. It wasn't the alcohol doing anything for me, just making things worse and holding me back. I think life will be 100 times better the sober way. I am going to start off online and see if it is enough if not I have every intention on trying AA out and letting my friends and family know that this is really happening. I will do anything to be sober at this point and I'm not going to be ashamed anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Welcome, Breezy and good luck. We'll make it!
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I tried to quit hundreds of times on my own but would always end up relapsing. It didn't take much to trigger a full blown relapse.

I knew I needed help so I went to the emergency room and told them I had a problem with alcohol and they sent me to the detox ward where I got a full physical. I was kept as comfortable as possible with some alternate medication and 4 days later, I was refered to an IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) which lasted for 3 weeks.

I literally learned how to live my life without having to abuse alcohol or drugs! I had some underlying issues which predisposed me to addiction such as ptsd on the death of my dad so I was treated for that. I was also introduced to AA and was required to go to 2 meetings per week for the support I so desparately needed.

I have to say that the 12 steps of aa saved my life, I never have to worry, I get what I need and I have never in my life been as happy as I am now!

I still attend an occasional meeting now and then but not as often as I did in the beginning. I live my life by the 12 steos and not only do I have a better life but I have a happier life!

God Bless!
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