Drinking to numb or escape is a problem. The question the real alcoholic has to answer is whether or not that drinking includes a craving that becomes more important to satisfy than life itself, including the desires and requests of our families.

Are you drinking to numb their influence or escape them? That is a real problem alcoholics can have. Just because they are the family, doesn't mean they are perfect or won't make us sick spiritually. People are human, doing the best they can, at every given moment, even if that best is what is worst for us. For example, I have a family member who I let borrow money and they saw it as a gift and not a loan. The fear this has caused me financially, has made me want to retreat from this person, and it has made our relationship weaker. If I were drinking I would be harassing them daily for what they owe, but now that I don't drink, I am able to see that they are sick and incapable of seeing my interest, due to their own fears.

I enjoyed the relief alcohol gave me. When I took a drink of alcohol my mind, body, and spirit became greater momentarily, I felt in complete control, I felt as if my problems had been washed away, for about 10 minutes. Then the craving would kick in, and the fear that the alcohol would wear off would come, and then I would drink more, to try to "beat" the fact that the alcohol's effects are temporary.

Before I knew it I was insanely drunk, broke, the enemy of someone, usually someone very nice or a complete stranger, and hopeless full of hatred. Hatred of myself, because I didn't have the power to not crave alcohol beyond my control.

I will say now that I have retired from drinking, my family trusts me much more, gives me much more freedom and space, invites me over, laughs a lot with me, an allows me to work through my own problems.

2 to 3 times a week, one bottle of wine, after admitting hard liquor binging is part of your personality is progress, however real progress would be learning a way to analyze your bad days and learn from them, seeing if you can do anything in the future other than drinking to cope, to shift life to have less "bad days" in it's plan.

Every time I have a bad day, after taking some time to reflect quietly, I see that some motive of mine that wasn't best for the greater good, was making the decisions. For instance the establishment I am working at is set to make major changes, some of which I consider unnecessary risks. I have a conservative motive to not incorporate change in my belief system that makes many decisions for me. Yesterday I was able with an open mind to accept that change in this circumstance might be the best possible route for us all. Then my mind opened even further to admit that the leaders of this change are well experienced and have had much success in changing other establishments. Then I saw that change isn't the end of the world and change is the reason why most of us grow and learn to love others better. Then I saw I don't want to change because it takes effort and energy to change, and I would rather be lazy and stay the same. So I saw I have motives to be lazy, not love, and a great fear I am not going to benefit more than all others in this scenario. So my motives of laziness, unloving attitudes, and selfishly wanting more than my teammates, were creating the misery, that was making it a bad day. It was a misery because it wasn't included in the overall plan for joy and happiness, as a part of something, it was the selfishness that all alcoholics suffer from, that we can't even see, that was feeding my ego into convincing me it was a horrible day. The fact is if I am alive, and not drinking, it is an incredible day.

Hopefully that makes sense.

Good luck.

Hello Jessy,

If you can step back a little and look at the bigger picture, you may come to see that your relationship with alcohol is not normal. What may be less obvious is that you are on a dangerous path that is likely to lead to great pain and misery unless you make changes.

You are trying to control your drinking by limiting it to 2-3 times per week and this is something that normal social drinkers do not need to do. I used to do that but then I felt that the gap between the drinking and the dry days was too long so “just for this week” I thought that I would drink on one of the off days. Before long I was drinking every day.

You used to binge on liquor but you have now switched to wine. The harsh truth is that the type of drink doesn’t really make that much difference and wine or beer are just as deadly as liquor. Also, normal drinkers would have a glass or two of wine, not a whole bottle.

The most concerning thing of all is that you drink to help you in dealing with life and that you want to stop but keep making excuses to drink. Although you may not realise it, drinking is becoming an obsession for you and you will always find some reason to drink. Alcoholics enjoy the buzz that comes from drinking and will do anything to repeat that feeling. However, there comes a time when no matter how many drinks are taken, alcohol just will not work anymore. By that time, the drinker is hooked and will find it extremely difficult to quit.

As I see it, you have two simple choices and there is no grey area. You can choose to continue drinking and trying to control it but your drinking is likely to get much worse and there will come a time when it is far from enjoyable. Your second option is to recognise that you have a problem and to stop now. If you find that you cannot easily stop, please look for help.

I remember when I was in that spot. I didnt want to drink but I was addicted. Alcohol is a drug. It is very addictive because it works in removing my problems. Only they are still there when I wake up the next day and there are more problems from my drinking. it is a drug. get help. I too would pull the old switch from alcohol to wine to beer to this and that. its still just a drug in a bottle.
I was hooked. Addicted. It took working on my inner self and why i had to drink. See i was from a very young age full of fear. I was tought to not be fearful of anything. These were at odds in my head so when the first sip of booze happened at about 14 the conflict was over. Aaaaaahhhhh. Relief... only I didnt know it then but the normal person doesnt get the same feeling. The normal drinker has one or two and the brain gets tired or sleepy... Me, one or two and my brain is all fired up. It is just a fact that alcoholics process booze differently. There have been MRIs on the brains of alcoholics and on non alcoholics. The MRI on the alcoholic lights up when a drink is introduced. The brain of the normal drinker just gets some stimulation. I am not a bad person, just alcoholic. I have a problem with alcohol. Other parts of life are normal and im pretty smart and productive. But when I have one... Im in for a ride because I dont stop I just keep trying to chase that feeling of Ahhhh... Its maddening and only gets worse. So today I just choose to not start. I work on my inner being and help others. This is a good life without HAVING to drink. That life sucked.
1is2many

I'll keep my answer short. One of the definitions of an alcoholic is when we self medicate to avoid emotional pain! I can't remember where I read that but it fit me exactly, however, I didn't stop right away. I waited until my friends and family started avoiding me before I sought help.

I will pray for you.

God Bless

Nothing wrong if you enjoy it, and that's what you want to do. As for others opinions, we can listen and try to see the validity in them. Almost everything that people do is going to attract some negativity and some positivity. Some will agree with us, and some will not.
At the end of the day it all comes down to you and what you want for yourself in life. If you see problems starting, then try to correct them. Have a great day. James

This is a progressive disease. My alcoholic husband has fought this whole life. Drank his early years, stopped for about 10 years because his young son asked him to, left his wife, married me, started drinking and has destroyed our marriage, lost a job last year and has now taken up smoking and getting tattoos at 60 years old. We will likely divorce. He is not happy and neither am I. He has tried to stop many times. I'd venture to say that he likes to drink. Has cost him a lot, but that's his choice.

You have a choice too. Make it one that makes you happy.

Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic or not. Because unless you feel you have a problem and you want to stop, then nothing will happen. You won't stop. Your friends and family can say all they want. It won't matter. Since you are on here even talking about it though makes me think you feel you may have a problem. Sit back and really think about it. Think not only of the fun you have had drinking but think of the problems it may have caused you or hurt you have caused others. Take it all in, consider it all and then decide for yourself if you have a problem.