I did some really stupid stuff.

so you start again, and make today the start of a new day sober, we all have crappy days or times where it would be easy to start drinking again, I always remember where alcohol led me to in the end, and that is enough to make me never want to pick up a drink again. It is the easy option to drink to relieve any emotional pain, but when we are strong within ourselves, and love who we are, is easy to not drink, and rely on the tools within. Would be good for you to stay in regular contact with your secular sponsor, or if that is not an option, get onto a meeting and find a new sponsor that fits you & you're comfortable with, take care

and remember, no man or woman is worth putting your sobriety in jeopardy

I remember I failed hundreds of times....When I went through detox the first time, a counselor recommended outpatient treatment. I said I would go but I never did. Then I relapsed a few months later. I made all kinds of promises to get better for my family, friends, and my employer, and I relapsed every time....The reason being, I was not ready to quit.

I had to punish myself for a few more years, and get to a point where I was near death, before I was motivated to do everything it took to get sober. I was even ready to believe in this Higher Power being who everyone said was so great. After using the tools I was taught, I began to really believe that there is a God because there were all kinds of good things going on in my life and they happened too often to call coincidence. This was my Higher Power doing for me, what I could not do for myself and I heard alot of similar stories at AA meetings and that cemented my trust in the 12 steps as a viable treatment for my sickness of addiction!

So I gladly walked through the door that had a sign on it reading, "Alcohol and Substance Abuse Center".....My first day there, I was terrified not knowing what to expect but it didn't take long for my nerves to calm down. I did everything they asked me to do, met some very compassionate counselors and addiction doctors and nurses and made some lifelong friends in the process! It was work....it was fun.....and it was an education! ..

13 years later, I have a great life. I own a successful business, and I have never been happier.... I wish the same for you,

God Bless

So good for you Bob.

iamheretoo, when I think about those day's....there are some good days and often wish wish I could get them back.

Bob, "I am here too" has secular beliefs, so the God thing doesn't work for her :)

has Iamheretoo tried the SOS meetings? Secular organizations for Sobriety? I have a friend who is involved....I have attended a couple times....does not work with my schedule now.....and it is not AA....just a different way people try to be sober....success for my friend who I supported by going to his meetings to check it out....

Hi everyone. Checking back in with you all. Shiney I had a secular sponsor but I fired her. I haven't tried to find another yet. I also have not attended a meeting in awhile so it's probably time. I found
some good secular AA zoom meetings before. Luckily I had a previously scheduled meeting with my therapist this afternoon. I was able to talk with her about what happened and how to deal with the shame I'm having.

The first step in recovery is to admit you fucked up, and you said or did "some really stupid stuff". The second and third step is same as step number 1. Think of addiction recovery as... a collapsing staircase.

When I look honestly at myself, I see that I have struggled with self esteem (lack of) my whole life. This was the main trap that kept me imprisioned in that whiskey bottle. That I wasn't deserving of anything better....This kind of thinking is my unhealthy reaction to all the judgements that society has indoctrinated in us. They are better than me...... Uggg. When I had my accident and had a year to put my body and mind back together is when this started to shift for me. There is a freedom in acceptance. I.e. I'm ok just the way I am because, in this moment, I can't be anything else. Arguing with this is like saying the sky isn't blue. That's just crazy. Repeat after me, I"M OK JUST AS I AM. Are there aspects that we want to be different? Sure. But here's the reality, that's just a mind game that takes place in some future fantasy. Get real and accept yourself just as you are. Human. Don't attach a million adjectives to yourself. That's self judging and, seriously, just a waste of energy.
So it should come as no surprise that the key to real health is love and acceptance for ourselves. Just as we are right now!!!! Don't believe it? Give yourself one minute. Relax the thoughts, take three or four deep breaths, know you're alive and let that be enough. Keep it simple. This is why we become our own worst enemy. Our chaotic minds ramp up this confusing sense of our own identity that is self defeating. Fuck that. Jump off that sadistic merry go round and give yourself a break:)
Breathe, love yourself by being thankful for the small simple miracles that we're surrounded with all the time. Keep it simple. J

How are you doing? Haven't heard from you.... Wishing you the best:)