glad you are sharing must have been tough,, you are coming to a place of support and healing

Hello Richard,

The good news is that the problem that you are facing can be overcome and you can live a completely normal life, free from alcohol. Also, the solution can be as easy or as difficult as you want to make it.

It is suggested that people need to be willing to go to any lengths in order to recover from alcoholism. Most will try the easier methods first, with some succeeding and others failing completely. When everything else has failed is when an alcoholic may need to ask the question: “Am I willing to do whatever it takes”?

These are some of the options that you have:

Talk honestly with your doctor and ask to be referred to the available addiction services.
Arrange to go to a detox centre.
Try alternatives to AA such as SMART.
Read one of Allen Carr’s books such as “How to Stop Drinking with Allen Carr’s Easyway”.
Go back to AA.

Bearing in mind that you need to be willing to do what it takes, I would go back to AA. When I was in a similar place to where you are now, there was much about AA that I didn’t feel comfortable with. However, desperation drove me to become willing and other people suggested keeping an open mind. I had no belief in AA and didn’t think that it would work but as it was about the only show in town, I had few options. To my surprise, I found that AA enabled me to do what had been impossible before and stay sober. However, that was only the beginning and AA has also given me the means of dealing with life in a completely different way.

What you have been doing up until now is in your own words, you have gone without drinking. In order to have long term sobriety, you may need to address the background issues that cause you to drink.

Take a look at the link in another thread, “Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism” for some good information.

Richard, welcome. You illustrate what we hear about the illness being a progressive disease. Despite being dry during marriage, the ism was lying in wait inside you.

I found AA to provide me relief. Sorry it did not benefit you. There are other methods like SmART recovery and Allen Carr's method. Also some found meditation and counseling helped them.

We hope to hear more from you.

Sounds like you are still mourning the death of your marriage and have yet to let go..

I was married for 24 years and my wife divorced me 2 months shy of my silver wedding anniversary. It only took me a very short time to let go of the the anger and resentment. I did this with the help of the 12 steps of AA. I just told my wife, I wanted her to be happy, that's all, and rather then punish myself with self pity, I accepted life the way it was and trusted in my Higher Power to make it better, which He did! There was one miracle after another in my life and the strangest thing is, about 6 months after the divorce, my ex wanted me back again but by then, I was beginning to enjoy being single and being able to do anything I wanted to do, so I respectfully declined!

That was 4 years ago. I am still sober now and happier then I have ever been and I wish the same for you!

God Bless!

I was the same way. I could quit for brief periods. A week, a month, or once for 2 years. I was angry, sad, and very unstable. See booze made me feel better. I liked the way it made me feel, or not feel... but eventually I became addicted and needed more and more. I withdrew from life. I was unable to live drinking and unable to live without drinking. It was a bad place. Then one day I had had enough and decided to do something. I went to an meeting with other alcoholics and found out there was a way to get sober. You can too if you are ready
1is2many

I notice that you didn[t say you were an alcoholic or not. You need to make the first step in AA and know that you are the only one who can decide if you are an alcoholic or not. I am an alcoholic. No doubt in my mind. I just have a strong forgetter.

Hi Richard! I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. I strongly suggest that you should consult your doctor regarding your goal for sobriety. If you are open to the idea, you can also check out different programs in treatment centers like BLVD which may seem to be a good fit for you. They have professionals who will be delighted to help you all throughout your journey. If AA is not effective for you, there are many options that you can try on to be better. I really believe that when you set your mind to accomplish something, you will definitely reach your goal. Sending all the positivity and warm hugs to you!