Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I just turned 49. Maybe that sounds old. It certainly would sound old to me when I was younger. Now I need to believe I am still a vital, attractive person. My father is a pastor and my family is awesome. My growing up years were so happy...I was the oldest of 4 happy, healthy, over-acheivers who were totally loved and supported. When I was 21, I became a flight attendant and did that for five years, getting married and having a baby during that time and only quit because I couldn't get child-care and because all I had REALLY ever wanted was to have a wonderful husband, a wonderful home and be a wonderful mother to wonderful kids. Everything went according to my dreams until I was 42. In fact, I was on top of the world on my 40th birthday! But when my kids entered high school, all my expectations exploded. I had done everything right. My kids were healthy and attractive. With all the advantages and support they had, they would be happy. So I thought. But 6 years ago, my expectations blew up. My two oldest kids were nothing like I'd raised them to be---they were unhappy and I had failed in the thing I had put the most effort into. My husband is a great guy but was wrapped up in his work. That wasn't a big deal when I was getting "fed" by taking care of the kids, but then they shut me out of their lives and my husband wasn't there. I was a runner. I ran every night and rewarded myself with a beer or two when I got home. Only on the weekends usually. Also, I was so lonely. I longed for relationships with my kids. I longed for connection with my husband and I loved going to pubs and drinking beer with him...that made me feel close to him. Then I started drinking 2-3 beers while making supper many nights. I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself that no one really cared what I did. And I think that was true at the time (although my mom and sister always cared but had their own lives). How did a few beers at night turn into drinking vodka during the day? I don't know. I know WHY it happened, but it totally sucks because my husband and I are now empty-nesters and he's finally understanding the "connection" and lonliness issue I've talked about our whole relationship, but now I have this monster of an addiction that is so horrible! I long and wish to go back...I want to be innocent again. I long for my great life. I didn't start drinking to forget a bad childhood or a horrible event. What does that say about me? I want to go back to when life was good. Life isn't good now. Even if I stopped drinking (which I know has to happen), life will never be as good as it used to be. I had 40 great years. Now life is full of heartache and trials.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
I found that by my mid 40s it was time to get sober. I was feeling the effects of booze my body was in rough shape and I was always getting into trouble. One Sunday after I had been on DS for like 3 weeks I went to a ltttle hutch and they had an aa meeting in the Sunday school room. I began my journey that night.
Life is rocking. I went to a meeting today and I haven't had a drink in over five years. My best years are ahead. Yours can be as well. Believe it and it will happen.
1is2many
It won’t matter if you can quit and regain your self-esteem and embrace a new life!
Very often, we spend valuable time looking back at what might have been had life been different, or wishing for some sort of Utopia in the future, while at the same time, failing to grasp the opportunities that are here right now. The past cannot be undone and tomorrow is not here yet so it is important to make the most of today.
Don’t blame yourself for the way that your children turned out. You did your best for them but you cannot control their lives. They are likely to make mistakes and make wrong choices along the way but that is a natural part of living. Maybe you are also setting the bar too high and that you have unrealistic expectations of your eldest kids. Why not try and accept them as they are and keep a good relationship with them?
Do not be too hard on yourself about the drinking either. Nobody sets out with a plan to become a problem drinker or alcoholic but it gradually creeps up on you. I would urge you to watch the video at the link below as it explains alcoholism very well. The problem may not be so much ‘empty nest’ as empty soul, or more accurately, the loss of a connection to your inner being. This often leaves a feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose. AA offers a means of re-establishing that spiritual link through the Twelve Steps but I am sure that there are also other ways.
Nothing changes if nothing changes, so the first thing that you need to do is to put down the drink, and the day for doing that is TODAY.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMC62Y_5dyE
That was over 9 years ago and I haven't been back to the "woe is me" life since, not even while going through divorce. I have a great life now and I have never been happier. I wish the same for you so I recommend AA. You can also have a talk with your doctor who can make an assessment and suggest treatment options for you. The choice is yours.
God Bless
I have been sober for 33 days. I am doing my best to say YES to things that come my way... to friends that haven't given up on me. I started going to yoga classes (actually went to one on my own this week - may not seem like a big deal, but it's something I would never have done before). I have social anxiety so I haven't been able to make it to an AA meeting... yet... but I WILL.
I feel so much better. I am still dealing with the empty, quiet house, but I have hope that staying sober, finding the things that make ME happy, trying new things to occupy my time, will help the lonely moments become shorter and shorter. And yes, I may be 50, and that MAY be old to some people, but every day that I am sober, I feel better, younger -- I can see it in my face. I am healthier. And as I learn to love myself, I can start to imagine trusting someone else to love me as well.
It would be wonderful to have a do-over. But I have to realize that what is important now, what needs my focus, is what lies ahead. What kind of life to I want for the next 50 years (yes, I plan to live to be 100!). How do I imagine my life 1 year from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, etc. What would that look like if I keep drinking?? And what will it look like if I stay sober? Really imagining that, helped me make the decision to STOP. I want the life that CAN be. I hope that can be your focus as well.
Stay strong.
And I so agree with Ginger when it comes to raising kids. I sobered up in '92 so had the advantage of having several sober women who had gone through what I was going through so guided me through the rough times in a healthy manner.
If I have learned one thing it is this. There will never be a time when your kids won't need their mother. But they also deserve a sober one. I'm rootin' for you. If I can do it, ANYONE can!
Since then, I've been active in AA and AlAnon, had a sponsor of 19 years who died, and another of 7 years who died. They were honest, warm relationships that keep me filled with wonder about the luck of finding such great relationships. What a boon of sobriety! Their memory warms my heart.
May some wondrous things things as these happen to you as well.
We loved her enough to make the tough calls. That's her dad & I being her parents, not her friends. Today she (33) and her husband have a twin boy and girl who are coming up on 3 months. I go to their house at the lake just about every day. She tells me things are "just better" when I'm there. I also have a special relationship with my grandson. He tends to be fussy but as soon as I get there, he calms right down. Life is good when I'm counting my blessings and not taking myself so seriously.
Best of luck Andrea. Vodka became my ball & chain too. If you are truly done with drinking or if you're still drinking, check out an open AA meeting. What have you got to lose?