Have you spoken with your sponsor or been to a meeting? There is an on line AA site called In The Rooms where you can gain more support and attend online meetings.

I have a meeting tomorrow with a local group, i just wish I could do it on my own but it's so hard. I will have a look at that as I haven't heard of it before, that ks you

I was fiercely independent and thought that I could do it on my own. I just could not. I tried for many , many years to just stop. I could stop but I couldnt stay stopped for long. I had become hooked on the way booze made me feel. I finally found myself at the bottom one sunday morning and decided that I was going to either go drink myself to death, or a thought , go to an AA meeting. That was June 9 , 2012. I could finally see that I was not alone and many others had recovered. I also found out the reasons why I was drinking. I have a physical and mental issue that when combined, are just too much for me to conquer. But with the help of some other alcholics, I have been able to not have to drink today. It is amazing. Its not always easy, but its a better life than I was living.
1is2many

You don't get a badge for doing it on your own. AA isn't a community of lepers.

If your transmission or engine blew out, you wouldn't try doing it yourself. You'd get yourself the finest team of mechanics.

You've endured a lot of pain and there are great women in the AA program who may have the same experience as you.

I hope you find your way back to a meeting.

Did anyone of you drink from morning till night and still got through it as hard as it seems! I've drank this morning today and then realised I am 5 days late on my period again... and positive test again... now I am petrified if I can't stop even with this little baby inside me... help....

Hi Emmt85. I was an all day drinker from the time I woke up til night. I'm on day 24 now, it is possible. You have even more reason now to stop. I too had a miscarriage and know how hard that it is. You have been given another chance, think about the baby. You can do this with support. I personally haven't been to AA but it seems to be a saving grace for a lot of people here. Go! *Hugs* YOU CAN DO THIS!

Oh honey I'm so sorry to hear this. So first, grieve the misscarriage. take your time. I have had two. one before I had other children, and before I got sober. it was awful, I felt so lost and sad. its a hear wrenching and physically hard experience too. The second was a few years ago; I was around 3 years sober, and had had three babies. I really wanted this one, but had to have surgery as it was eptopic, and I was in tremendous pain. similarly hard, physically and mentallly.
So grieve.
On drinking -- don't give up. You can get and stay sober. and you can go through ANYTHING sober.
the women in AA, and the program helped me see and believe in that a day at a time.

Keep trying, and try different things. When I first quit drinking I took all kinds of vitamins and read the book The Alcoholism And Addiction Cure by Chris Prentiss. That was really helpful. So if you find that something is not working for you there are many ways to go about dealing with a drinking problem... Explore them and find what works for you.

I believe in you 100%. I was drinking daily, all to myself, blackout drunk because i couldn't take it anymore. When i found out i was pregnant i was terrified, i cant even take care of myself?! How can i take care of a baby!?! I was 4 months when i had a miscarriage. But it changed my life. If you ever need to talk, im here, all hours. ♥

You have my deepest sympathy on your loss.

Being in the presence of others who have suffered from the same trauma, can be a source of comfort and inspiration. You will find such women at AA meetings. When you are hurting, don't be afraid to share because there are lots of women willing to help. Rely on them instead of the bottle and you will gain a sense of purpose and reasons for living.

I will pray for you.

God Bless

Thank you everyone for your words and kindness and support. So I took another test this morning just to double check and yes I am definitely pregnant, 4 weeks 5 days. I am super excited but so petrified of going through another loss. The docs have said that due to being so early on the alcohol I have been drinking will not affect baby so that gives me so strength to know that. I've read the Allen Carr book on alcoholism and it did help before so may try read this again and may have a look at the Chris Prentiss one, I do prefer to read and try do it myself. I don't want to go aa again as i hate to talk in front of people and find it very nerve wracking and it's brings on my anxiety so it just ends up a vicious circle as I feel I need to drink after going to them. Hopefully I can do this with knowing I have a little baby growing Inside me... thanks all and love to you all xxx

Congrats on your pregnancy! Hopefully knowing that you cannot drink at all now because of your pregnancy will make it easier.

I drank everyday -- A LOT -- and quit without AA. If I can do it, then so can you -- AA is not a requirement. (Frankly for me, it was depressing and the opposite of helpful.) So don't think for a moment that if you don't go you will fail. You might consider going to a counselor -- talking one-on-one with a trained professional might be helpful to you.

Congrats! Now you have a very good reason not to drink.
I was hiding my drinking so would drink most of the day on my days off and quit a little before my family came home. There was a lot of shame and lying going on. It can be done.

We're here for you Emmt, we are all in this together. My niece is pregnant too, and she has struggled with alcohol abuse. I'm proud of her for how hard she is working; it doesn't come easy for her. In the past, her little 5 year old boy called 9-1-1 because she was passed out drunk. So sad. One reason that I am working so hard to Quit drinking is for my niece. To support her & try to set a good example for her. There is too much alcohol abuse in our family and we can't go on this way.

Emma how are you doing?