Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I am a 42 yr.old female. I started drinking when I was about 30. I started out drinking the 1.5 liters of box wine and ended up drinking about 2 to 3 boxes of wine a week. In the last couple of years I have switched to Vodka. I drink about 2 to 3 bottles of vodka a week or more. I only drink in the evenings or on the weekends. I always drink at home by myself. I have always been depressed and have severe anxiety. Most of my family are alcoholics . My dad died of liver cancer when he was 54 about 11 years ago. I am also bulimic for about 10 years now. My health is going down hill fast and I feel out of control and don't know if I have the energy or motivation to do something. I feel that know one cares. I know it's my fault for pushing everyone away, and I have never asked for help. I have drank and have done drugs in the past but always overcame. I don't feel like I can go on . I'm slowly killing myself and don't know if their is a way out. Anyway I just had to vent. I have never mentioned my bulimia before. I know my husband knows about it. Also my mom is severely depressed and my close cousin just committed suicide a couple of weeks ago and my mom lost it and told my sister that she has thought about ending it so many times. Ugh. I hate drama and don't want to cause anymore. I live in a small town where people talk. I keep to myself and don't have any friends. Sorry wow! I think I could go on and on. Ive buried everything for so long and don't know where to start.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
For my two cents may I suggest that you start to break up your worries and start somewhere and as you over come one you move onto the next.
For example you talk about alcohol, depression, anxiety and bulimic, So as you are in a alcohol dependent site maybe concentrate dealing with that issue, is a big one like the others but if you focus on one then get that under control then move to the next. As you become successful in each area you will gain more and more confident. Hopefully by doing this your courage to tackle your issues grow as does your confidence.
Just my 2 cents G8
Don't set barriers for yourself through pride, if people "talk" so what? Give them something positive to talk about - a healthy new you!
You would be in better shape to help those around you if you can help yourself first (that is what I am trying to do). My kids want me back...I am and have been in no condition to help anyone either.
Your anxiety will also get better if you stop drinking. Drinking eases anxiety while we drink...but as soon as the alcohol wears off...the anxiety gets worse. Your not alone. I'm here with you and others are with you as well.
You are very welcome to the forum and you have made a start by writing about the problem and posting it here. There is hope for you and you can have a bright future but it will take some work on your part.
It can be hard to find the motivation to do something but you can start by taking small steps and dealing with one thing at a time. Why not have an honest talk with your doctor and get referred to the specialists who can help you with depression and bulimia.
You feel that nobody cares but I would bet that many people do care about you. Maybe the real problem is that you dont care enough about yourself so you may need help to learn how to love the person you are. When people talk that is their business and their problem but you are letting them run your life. AA meetings would be a big help to you as you would have the support of people who share the same problem and who understand how you feel. If you dont feel like going to a meeting in your own town at first, why not travel to the next town.
There are also medications to help with alcoholism. None that ive tried. I do hope you will speak with a professional who knows something about addiction and can help you (most likely) taper off the alcohol. The amount you drink it might be dangerous to just stop all at once.
My own family has alcoholism, eating disorders and other addiction history. More and more I see how mindsets and poor self images have contributed, not just genes. I also have OCD and think ADD too. A lot of things can cause depression so there's no one cure for everyone.
There are websites that talk about ways to improve negative thought processes and become physically healthy too. Hope I'm not writing too much. Hang in there and good job reaching out. Hope you keep reaching out to others
You will never binge and feel out of control again if you learn how to change your thinking so that you dont take the first drink.
You can see where you are with drinking and you probably have a good idea of where it will end if you keep going. I would like to tell you that there is another way; it is the way of peace of mind, serenity and sobriety. Once you see where you are and where you would like to be you have a decision to make. This decision is one that people try to avoid or postpone. If you had a severe toothache you would probably try all sort of things to try and ease the pain but deep down you know that there is only one cure and when the pain got bad enough you would go to the dentist. Similarly with the drinking problem when it gets bad enough you need to decide if you are going to live in pain or get help.
Take a look at the video at the link below as it explains it very well. Then you can decide on what you want to do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pVBDQPC2XQ
I started by telling my doctor. Then I went through a hospital detox, followed by outpatient treatment, followed by relapse prevention group counseling. That was over 7 years ago.
You know... I learned that I couldn't fix everybody's problems, I could only take care of my own, and pray that the others would search for and accept the help they needed to fix themselves and their own lives.
Over 7 years ago, I reached my bottom and I almost died, but God kept me alive for some reason and today I am sober by the Grace of God and the 12 steps of AA and I have never been happier.
God Bless!
I am 42, I used to drink in the same way and have the anxiety piece and the whole "apple/tree" thing.
I suggest slowing things down for a moment and try to discover what's driving what. Do you drink to self medicate, or do you binge only when drunk? What's the legacy your family gave you? Peel the layers and you will see what you need to address first.
The happy thing is that if I could do it, so can you. Everybody's different, but I just woke up one day and said that I would never drink again. Bam. My anxiety is WAY better, I've done tons of work on myself, read, journaled, did therapy, went away for an intensive workshop... The works. And I can say now that since dropping the drink, my life has done a turn around and I am a different person today. Totally.
You can do it, too. PM me and I'd happily chat with you more.
And I respect your courage to admit this to us. You're on the right track.
Hugs.