Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
My husband buys and hides his beer anywhere from outside, to the basement, in the shed anywhere he thinks that I can't find it. I ask him why he does this and he says he doesn't, even though I find the empty beer cans all the time. Very rarely does he put beer in the refrigerator and I don't know why. It's been like this for almost 5 years, and I don't know what to do. It hurts me that he feels like he has to lie to me right to my face when he is "caught". It's not an everyday occurance, but rather every 2-3 days. Never a full week.
Im so upset that I don't know what to do anymore. He's a wonderful man, provider and wonderful father to our 5 year old but Im just not sure if this is serious enough for me to worry or should I just let things be. Help....
Im so upset that I don't know what to do anymore. He's a wonderful man, provider and wonderful father to our 5 year old but Im just not sure if this is serious enough for me to worry or should I just let things be. Help....
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
In the meantime, f you click on the tab "groups" at the top right of this main page you will find a list of all the sub groups to this alcoholism board. There are some groups you could join for Al-Anon or relatives of problem drinkers.
As a general rule, hiding alcohol is a problem. It usually means the person does not want you to know how much they are drinking. I would often put a 6 pack in the fridge and drink 1 or 2 off of it, but I'd have a 12 pack in the barn or garage so that no one would know how much I was really drinking. Then you have to stash the empties.....then you forget where you put them because you were drunk. And before long, you are caught! Yes, I've been there and done that. Most people did not know how much I was truly drinking, but they found evidence everywhere.
I think you should confront him. Tell him to keep his beer in the fridge because you are worried he has a drinking problem. If he denies it, than ask him why he won't keep it in the fridge like a normal person. At least he'll know you're watching. If you let it go, it becomes a sort of "family denial" on both sides and I've been through that as well. I think it's better for him to know that you believe he has a problem. He may not change his habits, but at least you will not be enabling him.
I wish my wife had confronted me on my drinking instead of enabling me. Not saying it was her fault or responsibility but it would have helped in the long run
After I got sober, I confessed to my wife where all my hiding spots were. Ask him to show you where his are and see what he says!
You need to go to Alanon where you can get support of others who have family members addicted to drugs or alcohol. ou will find many that can identify with what you are suffering through.
It's definitely a problem which will not get any better until he realizes he has a problem and asks for help!
God Bless
It can be difficult to know if someone is an alcoholic and very often even the alcoholic himself wont know for a long time. However, the label does not matter that much if drinking is causing a problem in your relationship. The important thing is that you get as much information and support as possible and that you protect yourself from harm. I would agree with what Gailly has suggested about going to Al-Anon, where you will meet other people who have coped with the same problem.
I hid bottles in the house for years and the main reason was because I didnt want other people to know how much I drank. My wife knew I drank a lot but she had no idea about how much. Taking one can of beer from the refrigerator and drinking it openly was another ploy I used, because that would mask the smell etc. and I could then secretly do some real drinking. People who are not addicted to alcohol do not feel the need to act like that.
I think that you are right to be concerned about your husbands drinking. However, even with the best of intentions you could approach this in the wrong way and end up doing more harm than good. Problem drinkers dont like to be pulled up on their drinking or told what to do. Ideally he should come to a decision on his own and decide to do something about it. If I were you I would suggest rather than confront and ask if he thinks that he has a problem rather than telling him. This is where Al-Anon could be a big help to you as they will have years of experience of dealing with that type of situation and they will advise you on the best approach.
You can of course do nothing and hope for the best. However, I would suspect that your husbands drinking will get worse and that other problems will arise as a result. Go to Al-Anon and arm yourself with knowledge and hope.