Channel you life in a positive way, everything has failed for me. You have to want to live. Get you a study Bible, it explains stuff you can't understand. Talk to Jesus, he knows what you're going thru. I was in war for my country and its hard to forgive me for taking lives but it will help you.

Im not sure that i can turn in that direction. Iv had a hard time figureing out what i belive in, i tend to turn away from religion for the most part. It is to hard for me to focus on what i cant see or understand. (I am in no way downing what you belive or saying anything against your religion)

Hi Trying,

I'm sorry you're having so many troubles and problems and I admire your willingness to look at what's going on. That's the first step in finding solutions. You CAN turn things around and you CAN, with work, create the kind of life you want.

I would suggest you use every social service in your area and get all the help you can. Working with a counselor might help you understand why you sometimes make self-destructive choices. Help with child care might give you some breathing space to take care of yourself. An AA group might put you in touch with people who have struggled and won against addictions. Do something everyday to get help and move forward and things will start changing quickly.

I would be very wary of a pot smoking, lieing fianc ... it's best to surround yourself with people you admire and trust and who want a clean, strong life.

Welcome to the forum and please let us know how you are doing.

My heart goes out to you. Ive never been in your situation before, but I certainly identify with that feeling of just wanting a drink, just as a 'breathing space' between all the worry. As Lucy says, dont struggle on your own - seek out SUPPORTIVE people who can help. AA will almost certainly have people whove been through similar experiences, and listening to them and how they have coped can make you feel less isolated and give you hope. In my experience AA meetings usually help with cravings while youre in the meeting. You could also go to the doctors who might be able to give you Campral medication for the cravings. These tablets have certainly taken the edge of the anxiety for me in the past. Take care and remember youre not alone.

Thank you very much for the advice and support. It was very much needed and apriciated

Welcome to D/S. There aare some solutions in here. The first thiis that you have to want to change. You've recognized you have a problem and thats a great first step. you have to remember . You developed your craving for alcohol based on your choices. When your behaviour changes then your actions will change. I suggest you try Alcoholics Anonymous. It was there that I learned new .behaviours and became the best person I could. We cant afford to wait on other people to change we'll find that our children are the ones who pay the price for our indecision.We dont want that. Join your local AA group learrn from people who have been in your situation. They will teach you a new way of living . Learn all you can your childrens lives are at stake. Surely you dont want them to grow learning how to deal with lifes problems through the bottom of a bottle. Its got to be worth a call to AA and ask about about meetings that involve young mothers. Set a goal to do something. We have a saying in AA. "If nothing changes ,nothing changes" Goodluck with your new found solution.
Greg

Hello TryingToForget,

Things may seem bad right now but please bear in mind that whatever problems you may have will only get much worse if you drink. You would probably have your children taken away and put into care and it would be very difficult to get off that downward spiral. Therefore it would be better to look at other solutions.

One thing that you may wish to explore is the difference between religion and spirituality. Religion is man-made and while it is generally something good and beneficial it does not appeal to everyone. Spirituality on the other hand comes from God and your conception of God can be anything you want it to be. At the simplest level, I just believe that there are things to do with time and the universe that human beings will never be capable of understanding and I call those things God. The thing about God and spirituality is that it can fill a void that we as humans have inside and can lead to a strong sense of direction in your life.

Whatever you believe in, the Serenity Prayer can be your guiding light and it goes like this:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to see the difference.

So, what are the things that you can change in your life? Is your fiance a positive or a negative influence? If he treats you with disrespect now, how will it be in a few years when you are married? Remember that you cannot change other people. Would you be better off on your own for now rather than being with someone who doesnt have his life together? What would be the best thing for your children (they must always come first)? Can you get support from your family? Would counselling help you?

You are young and have time on your side so dont rush into anything. Try to step back and look at the big picture rather than just the everyday problems and if you can avoid drinking you will be able to do that with a clear head.

Hi,
For me, joining this website was a great motivator! Just seeing I'm among fellow sufferers who are on the same journey albeit different stops along the way helps me know I'm not alone in this. I'm on Day 4 (again). You can't beat yourself up for the past (even what you drank yesterday) but you can say today is a fresh start. All we have is today. If need be, take it one hour at a time. I'm finding that I think of booze when unpleasant feelings or tricky situations come to mind. Then I try to redirect my focus (turn the tv on, pick up a magazine,call someone, if I'm in the car drive PAST that liquor store (I've failed many times but not in the past 4 days).
God/Jesus - I believe Hell and Heaven are right here on earth to a certain extent. There's an amount of luck involved but also choices. Make success happen by the hour/day and have an overall PLAN for getting out of your situation. It won't happen overnight, but it won't happen at all if you don't plan. Now I've written that, I'd better take my own advice because my husband is about to divorce me as my last kid leaves home and all my family is overseas and I'm not the spring chicken I once was. So I'm fighting LONELINESS too. But I've got a plan for the next hour and the rest of the day. My problem is the overall plan, got to work on that but it seems just too depressing/overwhelming. Right now, I know that booze can't be involved in the solution.
I hope today is going well and if you've screwed up, start afresh NOW. Do get support though - AA, counsellor, doctor, this website etc.
GOOD LUCK!