What you're going or gone through is very real. I've found only after counselling that none of it is an excuse for me drinking. It's one of those massive knots that needed sorting out. Can be done. That you've reached out here is good yeah. Hope what we share here can help. Welcome to the group.

Hi Dreamct, if you find you are hiding your drinking from anyone it is a sign that it may be beyond your control already but only you can judge the situation.

As the previous poster suggested, counselling is good and I also found Alcoholics Anonymous invaluable for helping me to address my alcoholism and dealing with feelings too. I took all the help I could get.

People share their own experiences here, see what you identify with amongst the different approaches to a common problem.

Welcome dreamct. I was jus like you thinking I could have a glass of wine and I would not feel sick the next day only to end up drinking the whole bottle and more. Waking up feeing like crap, sick and full of guilt. I just got so sick of being sick, of having the bondage of something controlling my life. Most of all not being able to sleep. No peace. I to hid my drinking. Oh, I would have a glass but that glass stayed full with a hidden bottle under the counter. I did not go to cosuling or AA. I however did decide one day at a time.I made it through a day at a time and found the peace, it kept/keeps me from going back to the bondage. I too gave it up for months at a time. This time I have managed 17 months. I am aware that I am just a drink away from drinking again(as we all are) I keep in mind how awful I felt when I drank. All of it, the guilt, lack of peace, not sleeping, on and on. And that keeps we from from that bondage. That wine. Never give up. Because one day you will do it...

I remember a stretch in my life when I also had some losses. Lost my job, lost my dad and lost my wife.

I drank to numb myself because I didn't want to feel the pain. It was through treatment that I discovered that feeling the pain is very important because it helps us grow emotionally.

But I couldn't do it alone. I needed alot of support to help me through those rough times and I found that support in AA. I really believe that The 12 steps of AA saved my life, and I have never been happier!

God Bless!

If you've landed here, you, most likely, know you have a problem with alcohol.

Accountability for me had to be face2face. I found that at AA. It would have been easy for me to sit at a computer, drink in hand, and tell folks what I think they wanted to hear.

Have you ever been to an AA meeting?. It doesn't cost anything. There you will find others in the same boat as you. I haven't drank in over 22 yrs. It came as a result of the 12 Steps. Welcome!

I find that making excuses for my drinking is just that...making excuses. I have had a horrible life.but there is no reason for me to kill myself more with drinking.

letting my life define me is wrong...I drink cause I'm alcoholic..not cause I was beaten...abused...a terrible mother...a terrible employee..raped...etc...

Take the excuses away and I would still drink. I want to live and take care of myself..that is when I feel best.

I wish the best for you...and don't let your past define who you are today.

4 glasses... that's the better half of a bottle a night.

A business owner has to be on top of things vigilantly Drinking is the reason why MANY businesses fail. I've seen it a million times.

Try to stop drinking as an experiment. If you can't, you've got a drinking problem. Seek help.

Dreamct? How you doing? you sought help thru the boards..so you have a problem...are the boards helping you? I hope?

Thanks everyone! I didn't realize I had any comments. I thought I would get an email saying I did. So I was excited and I'm very grateful for those of you who have taken time to respond.

Yes, there's guilt, and other issues to deal with, not to mention the fact that you do and say things to people you wouldn't if you didn't have alcohol in your system.

Seems the enemy of our soul wants to keep us in bondage, and that means no freedom, especially when there is shame. I know we can use every excuse, and sometimes there isn't one, but you are driven to change the way you feel, and then you have a glass of wine. it's a constant cycle.

I have been to Al-Anon meetings several years ago.

Deliannem, so very true. I think not overcoming fear of failure, and what does the future hold ie how will I survive, loss, rejection, pain, and being alone allot has contributed to drinking.

Meblonde I appreciate your thoughts. I woke this morning taking into consideration my feelings and thoughts of guilt and insecurity. As a result I realize that I've made many decisions I'm not happy about in my life and can't really tell you why, maybe seeking love for one. But the good news is as I have sought to forgive myself and others I can live unashamed now, and also I like the word BRAVE. So I want to be brave, to do what I've never done before in my life and business and unashamed because I can look forward and not back and do not have to hide my drinking any more. Brave and unashamed will be my daily motto, one day at a time...

I have hope to continue to give you a good report. :)