Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Went 40 days without a drink. Friday night hung out at a bar for a friends going away party. Drank water and had a great time. Swapped stories, drunken nights of yesteryear. Went home 8:00 pm feeling like I was going to implode. Hubby drank. I decided that was my permission. Started drinking around 9pm. Drank I have no idea how much of I have no idea what until 4:30 am. Put a frozen pizza in the oven. Set the timer and proceeded to pass out. Woke up to hubby at 1pm putting a charred pizza in my face. He had woken up to smoke in the bedroom. Briefly pondered that we both could have died. Started drinking immediately, same I don't know what and continued until 5 am Sunday. Sobered up because of fears of anxiety attacks on Monday at work because I flushed my Klonopin a few weeks prior because I last took 12 of them in 24 hours. Monday anyway was borderline panic attack and still shaking. Went home at 4pm and drank 2 beers to wind down. Went to aa, got there late enough I wouldn't have to admit my relapse for a startover token and left before anyone could talk to me or make eye contact. Got home 7pm with a bottle of wine. Finished said bottle and proceeded to beer. Sent message to boss that I was feeling feverish and would prefer to work from home on Tuesday. Sent message to temp sponsor saying "I need help bla bla bla". Sent several other dumb pathetic txt msgs to temp sponsor. Drank numerous beers until now (7am) having not yet slept and ready to get another. Missing work today. It's getting light out. How long will this continue? Driving to PA tomorrow for Thanksgiving. I hope I stop before I see my family.
Billy
i am still drinking. I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead.
whacked. everyone else is getting up for work and i am going to get another beer. i haven't slept in 24 hours. trashed. what have i become?
I could NOT STOP..
Thursday morning (Thanksgiving), I went to the grocery store at 7:30 am and bought a big fat bottle of wine, just so I could be "normal" while with my family and not sick so I could eat Thanksgiving dinner and swore on my LIFE that that was it! I was done! No more, I prayed for God to just get me through the day and I was done forever......
I took a glass of wine with me to drink in the car on the way over, it's about a 30 minute drive and God knows, I needed it for that long of a drive since I would be there for a few hours without a drink!
There were so many cars there that my brother in law had to move my car and I was petrified he would smell the alcohol wafting up from the plastic cup that had been full of wine...
I bragged about being sober to folks that were there...and how this was my "first Thanksgiving sober" and blah blah blah blah....
and then stopped on the way home and bought another great big bottle because Friday I don't have to work and it's a holiday weekend right?
Get my drift? Excuses..."just get me through the day, I'm done", "well I'm off Friday", "it's a holiday weekend".....those excuses will go on forever if you let them....or the one I'm famous for "I can't find a good sponsor". Bullshit! I wasn't looking hard enough.....
Are you done with excuses?
Love you Olive! :)
1 pour it out
2 Don't pick it up again
3 and most importantly get to a meeting and TELL on your disease.
Sounds like with burnt pizza in face from hubby....HE will believe you!
You asked when will it end? It will end when you have made a decision to not drink no matter what, and surrender yourself to something bigger than yourself. The other option of an end if you choose to continue drinking, would be a physical, spiritual, and emotional death brought on slowly by practicing alcoholism.
There is a Solution for what ails you. Please know that YOU are worth it. You are worthy of sobriety, and all the blessings it holds. Please do something besides drink.
Thanks for all you do!
27 hours straight, no sleep. This is going to get ugly real soon. Only a few beers left and it's on to hard liqour. It'll be a short day and I'll sober up on the 12 hr drive to PA tomorrow.
Hey, it worked.... I didn't get nearly as sick as I would have if I'd continued and finished my binge.
So a some time later I remembered that there were almost no consequences to that drinking bout and I realized that I could drink again with almost no consequences. So I went on another short binge.
Hey, that works! No problem! Controlled drinking!
What a concept!
I hope you don't drive while on this binge Anna, and I hope you don't burn your house down either.....
But aside from that, I would suggest you make yourself good and sick so you can remember why you don't want to ever drink again.
Heresy to some, that's a given.... but that's my take on it.
Sometimes I think God gives us grace, allows us to suffer to our addiction, brings us out of our despair, and cleans us up to help someone else going through the same thing.
I read these individuals on this post. Makes you kinda wonder, huh?
I hope that you are willing to use the suggestions, here. It just might make a wonderful difference for you.
Use my suggestion!!.... use mine!! (hand up waving to get your attention)
LOL, I crack me up!
Anna, nothing matters right now except getting sober. Not work, not Thanksgiving, not your trip to PA, none of it. All that matters is trying to get sober and then taking the steps necessary to stay that way.
There are some good comments here - I hope you get a chance to re-read them fully sober. I also hope you put down the bottle soon and go to sleep.