Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Hello non AA members!

Impermanence
Impermanence

There is not much activity here lately, so I thought that I would make a post directed at the non-AA people. I have been sober for at least 6 years. I say at least because I really didn’t count. To the best of my knowledge I have been sober anywhere from 6 to 8 years.  I do not belong to any group. I tried AA. I tried Life Ring (a secular group) and Smart Recovery.  Live groups did not work for me.  AA was too religious for me. I also found that live groups spend most of the time dealing, with one problem person, or with the good old boys. None of the talk was directed, at what I needed to learn. I was able to stay sober a month to a year during this time that I wasted going to AA. 


DS (Daily Strength) was of help. I was able to disregard the AA posts and I basically only read and replied to those posts that interested me. I was able to attain long term sobriety, when I went to Dharma classes. I did not go to these classes to address my alcoholism, but the classes gave me the tools that I needed to fix me.  I learned Mindful Meditation, which by the way, is recommended by most doctors. I also learn to stop grasping and attaching.  I learned that it is OK to plan, but not to attach myself, to a particular outcome. My handle is impermanence. I am not the same person that I was when I was drinking. Everything changes. Tomorrow I am not the same as today. The past is the past. It cannot be undone. I live for today. I realized that I could have learned all of this from a good therapist. However the classes were free and I am a Buddhist anyway. 


Toddy I am not perfect. What is the sense in being sober, if I am not happy? Of course happiness is also impermanent. I learn not to attach to it. When I have problems, I face them. I don’t run away from them, like I did with booze.  The emotions are no longer overpowering. I don’t need to run from them. 



If groups are your thing go to them Follow you spirit and you will find sobriety.

1is2many
1is2many
There is more than one way to peel an onion. Do what works for you
1is2many
Justitia
Justitia
During my time majoring in social work, I had to attend AA meetings to see what they were like. They were SO overly religious! I mean, I know that everywhere is different. But I just kept thinking about how messed up it was that some people are forced to go to AA when it is "Christian" based. Religion should be taken out of it, in my opinion.
Impermanence
Impermanence
I attained my sobriety by accepting responsibility for my own actions. I could no longer say that it's someone else's fault, for upsetting me, making me drink. Once I take that first drink, will power is gone. Science has shown that the compulsion overrides the will power, The will power comes into play in not taking that first drink. The desire to drink is called the obsession. I found that the best way to control the obsession was for me to face those ugly emotions that I want to escape by using alcohol. There are certain things in life that I have to accept. I had two cancers and I got through the treatments sober. Mindful meditation really helped me.
more4hope
more4hope
I've done AA and it wasn't for me! The structure is off. It doesn't suit this day and age. I've been struggling for years and I've felt no real support. I've done Buddhism, meditation, mindfulness, etc. Even the Dao, simpilist way of life! That is exactly how I got sober before. It's just not enough anymore. I hate to sound synical, but I'm going to, nothing is without money. I tried to go to rehab. The lady I spoke with was extremely supportive! Ready to get me the right help I needed! Yay!!! That is, until she learned my insurance would not cover it. Never heard from her again. I have gone astray from my mindfulness and meditation. I've "fallen off the wagon" so to speak. But I just I can't meditate all day. I'm a cynic. I'm an alcoholic. I don't believe it's just me forgetting. There is a sticky collective consciousness making everyone and everything a little uneasy about the direction we are going. We are all selfish, some just believe it doesn't matter. I think that's an alcoholic. We always make excuses. I want to change. I'm ready for it. I'm just afraid to lose It. This is only out of fear that one day I may actually need it. (If that's even a thing, probably another excuse). Not entirely sure if I've made my point. I just want to get better! The one thing I really relied on took on another life. It's not what it used to be, it's what everyone wants it to be. Then you are back to square one! I drink because I don't fit in! Now I have to join your (no one in particular) meditation group and be right back in AA!!!
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
More, there are numerous non AA-methods. Impermanecne has found what works for him.

It's awesome!

AA works for me and whether the word God is there or not doesn't change anything for my approach.

A friend in the program with 53 years wisely says, God didn't get him drunk and it didn't get him sober.

Most of the words are Mumbo jumbo. But the principles and the unloading of baggage, the rigorous honesty and the fellowship are what keep me sober and have taught me accountability.

If you ever end up back in AA, Tune out what you don't need and take in what you do.

Don't let the serenity prayer or any other mention of god stand in your way of sobriety. As my friend also says - they want to believe God got them sober, great. If they want to believe a pink fence got them sober great.
Impermanence
Impermanence
I usually meditate 15 minutes a day. I have been a loner all my life. I am now comfortable with it. I no longer have the need to fit in. Besides being a Buddhist, I am also a shaman. I was popular in Mongolia, because I knew both paths, which are practiced there. Over here, no one cares, and it does not bother me. I learned to like me.
I don't have a god. The Buddha taught that we must do it ourselves. That is how I got sober. I did it myself. AA is based on the Christian revival paradigm. It works for those, who believe. One cannot pretend to believe. It doesn't work. Either, you believe or you don't believe. You have to be true to yourself.
Impermanence
Impermanence
ABOUT THE PINK FENCE. (note this post is directed at non AA members) In AA I heard many times someone explain their slip in this manner "God made me drink to teach me a lesson" There is nothing wrong with a believer saying that, but if someone has a pink fence as his higher power, can he blame the pink fence? That doesn't work. Either you have a personal God or you don't have one and take responsibility for your actions. Taking responsibility for my actions is an important part of my sobriety.
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
I don't have a God. My higher power is within me. It's in the form of accountability, rigorous honesty, and empathy to start.

Having fixed character defects, I don't need to drink. My higher power is a gut feeling.

People can thank God or blame god all they want. I am sober because of AA, which for me has nothing to do with God.
Impermanence
Impermanence
Facing our emotions:
Many of us drink to avoid unpleasant emotions. I felt tense, after the stress at work. I needed something to relax. My answer was booze. My wife upset me, I am angry; I need booze to calm down. I fear that my boss might fire me. I worry about what my son is doing now; I need booze to get rid of the worry.
What happened to me, when I sobered up, is that I had to face these emotions. At first, they were monsters. I could not understand how “normies” got through life without drinking. By facing these emotions time after time, they became less powerful. Today it’s easier. Emotions don’t go away. They are part of the brain. I got used to dealing with them. Mindful meditation is important for me.
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
Amen IMP! Especially on the anger portion. Drinking the poison and hoping the other guys gets sick is foolish. I did it for a very long time.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Through meditation, my ego is silenced and my Higher Power comes in loud and clear! I think meditation should be taught in grade school.

God Bless
Impermanence
Impermanence
Its my experiences that most people do not try mediation until they are suffering, The monk told me that most start going to the temple becasue they are suffering. Mindful meditation is one method of alleviating suffering. It got me through two cancer treatments. I haven't drank alcohol since I starting following my path. One cannot pick and chose path. One must follow the path that calls him or her.
That is why AA works for some, and others like me follow a different path that leads to the same place.
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