Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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hello again :)

Ashley8888
Ashley8888
I kind of feel silly being back a again and still with yet another recent sober date...It has actually taking me a few days of comimg here and reading befor I could post anything..and mostly that is why I come here, just to read and look for inspiration (and there is a lot of it here) Thanks guys :)

I have learned a great deal from coming here! And even though for the past 3 years I have been on and off...I think that I get closer each time. Closer to seeing the real truth and really wanting sobrity!. I really do want this and I know I have to start doing the work...

Well, I do have a question, I need a really good reason not to drink tonight...I am a server (the worst job and working on getting out) but tonight is going to be a long one and everyone is going to be drinking after work, FOR SURE...they have already asked me to go out too...All I knew was to say is maybe....I do not want to praticipate in any of his but everything seeems like I am going to be in a tough spot tonight and I need to prepare myself....

Thanks for taking the time to read :) I know I can do this just need some advise.....
jamesross
jamesross
Nothing wrong with preparing yourself, but try not to get into negative forecasting. Sure they might even party their asses off, but you only need to look after you. Reasons why you don't want to drink is nobody's bussiness, but your own. If you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to leave, or not go if that's what you choose. Never put yourself in a situation that you may be taking unnecessary risk. Be responsible for you. Try putting yourself into a differant, positive fram of mind. You can go and have fun. Just because others may be drinking, and out to party doesn't mean it has to be dismall, and an eeiry thing. If you choose to go, go for yourself. Focuse on being the good person you are, and look at what you might contribute to it. Perhaps you can go with the mindset that you can be a sober person that can be there for anyone that may need help. You never know. Do what you know is right, and whatever way you choose, have fun and smile. Your going to do good. James
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
I know it seems simple just not to go but they will be drinking at work too, I will be serving it all night long...I know I can do this and have befor it just sucks and is not easy but I am sure you all know these feelings and have had to work though them yourselves...I know I can do this, I will not drink tonight! Its stupid to let other get in the way of what I WANT!!
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
It happens just more towards the end of the night...The owener is never there so everyone pretty much does what they want...though it does happen during the shift too....tonight will be too busy...I guess im just going to be the annoying one who tries to get out of there as (off work) as earlly as posible...might say im not feeling so well, lol
Wow James I trully hope to be there some day, that I can go out with them and be there fro them, and have fun but I do know that is not realistic for me right now! Drunks are annoying, lol
deleted_user
deleted_user
i am powerless over people,places and things .........but not over my own choices.
do the best you can for you and remember dont be afraid to ask for help, god does for us what we can't do ourselves KCB
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi, Ashley, welcome back! I remember when you were here before. :)

Congratulations on making the decision again to get sober. We will be pulling for you and praying for you.

I'll add my echo: DON'T GO! I was sober for four years before I could be around drinking without thinking, "I may not be ready for this." It's not a problem now, I enjoy being around friends and colleagues, and if some or all the others drink makes no difference to me. But it took awhile.

Maybe I didn't have to be that careful for so long. But I was (and am) going to do anything -- ANYTHING! -- to protect my sobriety. You've been on this ride long enough to know how sneaky alcohol is for us.

Let us know what you do and how it goes!

Phil
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
yes, will do soberdaddy, Ill look forward to getting on here after work, relaxing and being happy that I am sober :) I guess thats a plan, lol
jamesross
jamesross
I forgot to add this too, Ashley, there is never any reason to think it's foolish comming here and asking questions. That's exactly the thing we need to do, and exactly what support is about. When I was too scared to ask people anything, for fears that they would think I'm stupid or something, or not like me, life was so very hard, and I went through a lot of unecessary pain and troubles. it caused me to be distant, and unable to be close to anyone. I lived in constant isolation that was the result of my own fears. I've learned since then that I need to allow others to help me. They need to fullfill their purposes in life to, and it can be selfish of me to deny them that. Keep posting no matter what, and allow us all to help each other. James
rivalino
rivalino
good to see you backashley and trying to get sobriety
Seems to be that way for some. there is allways hope please dont feel you must go along with the crowd your life and sobriety is way to important
gjm
gjm
Hey ash, good to see ya back. ya think ya might have answered your own question just by writing it out?

be good to yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
No one really needs to tell you WHAT to do as we are all gonna do what we WANT to do anyway.

Bottom line - do your job - without drinking and say no to the after party - doesn't take a lot of thought or preparation - and then find another job ASAP.

Peace!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Ashley. I can understand your predicament. Lucky for me, the people I used to go out with all know I stopped drinking and they just don't ask anymore.

I really don't miss it. The truth.

As SDP said, I protect my sobriety at all costs. If it means missing a night out with my co-workers, fine with me. :)

Welcome back. It can be done! Lots of miracles around here doing it every day.

~Chris
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess I'd be making an exit plan in so far as the job goes. Sounds like only then can you truly focus on the getting sober part. Just the ambience of that place gives me the willies because I remember when I was in your shoes. Don't make sobriety even more difficult for yourself. As for tonight: Put Ashley's needs first and DO NOT GO!!!!
Sober2day
Sober2day
Hi Ashley.

Welcome back. I know and have known a few people in recovery who work in pubs ,clubs and bars one lady having 30 years of sobriety .

She goes to work knowing it is a job and that's all it is a job she's been doing since she was 18 and I guess that's what you do .Go in do your job then come home.Sounds simple and it is if you keep it that way.Doesn't mean you can't enjoy it or that you have to drink .

I carry a couple of things in my wallet the Serenity Prayer and a tiny booklet called a meeting in your pocket which I can look at any time and when my disease starts telling me this or that just by looking at either card of booklet it brings me back into the now.

And I can ask myself .How important is it. How important is picking up a drink compared to my sobriety, my piece of mind.the love and respect i have from my family and friends these days and picking up a drink doesn't come into the equation.

Nothing wrong with preparing yourself maybe even carring that Serenity Prayer will help.

God Bless...

Lionel
donttread
donttread
NO Thank You. is the phrase I believe your looking for. If your not ready to tell them that, tellem your tired or don't feel feel. Whatever it takes
Rick8
Rick8
Welcome back Ashley. Going along with the crowd never got anyone ahead at anything in life. If you want to be like them....go. If you want more out of life....don't