Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
It seems like for the first time in my life I have nothing going for me. I left a great job because I thought it wasn't enough, but looking back on it it wasn't the job, but the place I had let myself fall into. I was in a bad relationship, and I stayed in it because it was comfortable and easy. Every night to fall asleep I would drink, and not just a glass of wine, but the entire bottle or six or more beers...
I thought if I changed my situation it would change how I acted. So I decided to quit my job and go back to school. It worked for a few weeks until I started to slide again. I started skipping classes, and slacking on my homework, until I was so far behind that I couldn't bring myself to go back.
I finally broke down and told my dad about my problem with alcohol. He already knew, but he also knew that I had to be the one to want to fix it. We made a pact that neither of use would drink. The first few days were hell. I've always had a problem sleeping. I've had terrible nightmares since I was little. Add in the constant sweating resulting in always being too hot or too cold, led to little or no sleep. When I could fall asleep I would generally wake up from a night terror, and then I would be afraid to fall asleep again. For the longest time I blamed my nightmares on my drinking. When I would fall asleep drunk at least I wouldn't remember my dreams.
I was sober for a little over a week, and then I thought I could just have one beer, one couldn't hurt right? But then I bought more, and then I was drinking every night. After that if I still had any left, I would start drinking it in the morning. It's still not back to the point where it was, but I know if I keep on the same path I will end up exactly where I was. I will end up as this person that I hate. This person that isn't me.
I never thought I would end up here... unemployed, running out of money, and honestly feeling very hopeless. I don't know how to find my way again, and I know that until I do I won't be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard to be strong when you feel this pathetic. It's hard to optimistic when you feel like everything that has happened is your fault, and it's just the universe giving you what you deserve.
I thought if I changed my situation it would change how I acted. So I decided to quit my job and go back to school. It worked for a few weeks until I started to slide again. I started skipping classes, and slacking on my homework, until I was so far behind that I couldn't bring myself to go back.
I finally broke down and told my dad about my problem with alcohol. He already knew, but he also knew that I had to be the one to want to fix it. We made a pact that neither of use would drink. The first few days were hell. I've always had a problem sleeping. I've had terrible nightmares since I was little. Add in the constant sweating resulting in always being too hot or too cold, led to little or no sleep. When I could fall asleep I would generally wake up from a night terror, and then I would be afraid to fall asleep again. For the longest time I blamed my nightmares on my drinking. When I would fall asleep drunk at least I wouldn't remember my dreams.
I was sober for a little over a week, and then I thought I could just have one beer, one couldn't hurt right? But then I bought more, and then I was drinking every night. After that if I still had any left, I would start drinking it in the morning. It's still not back to the point where it was, but I know if I keep on the same path I will end up exactly where I was. I will end up as this person that I hate. This person that isn't me.
I never thought I would end up here... unemployed, running out of money, and honestly feeling very hopeless. I don't know how to find my way again, and I know that until I do I won't be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard to be strong when you feel this pathetic. It's hard to optimistic when you feel like everything that has happened is your fault, and it's just the universe giving you what you deserve.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Once one has progressed beyond the point in alcoholism where you can just drink moderately and socially and are drinking a bottle of wine every day the way I used to, that's a sign that you need to just stop cold turkey and not drink any more ever again.
It may sound drastic, but total abstinence from alcohol is what you have to do once you have become an alcoholic. I haven't had a drink in 648 days and my life has improved so much since then.
If you stop drinking, you will find your life will get a lot better. You will be able to get back into school, then progress to a job later where you will be doing a lot better without the hangovers and missed days.
Getting sober is worth it. And you can do it.
so glad you are here.
We are all here because we have been in your shoes... we have chosen to dance with the devil and lost things important to us (especially our self worth.)
You ARE worth it.
No ONE deserves it.
Give all the negativity back to universe where it belongs... you cannot change the past, just learn to carry it... move on.
Find something positive to focus on for tomorrow. One thing, anyone can find one thing, and then 2 will come, and then 3... and soon you only focus on the positive and there will be no room for alcohol.
You are NOT alone. Breath deep, the world is a synergistic place, connect with it.
I know my advice is oddly philosophical, but every night I stand outside and make a conscious effort to connect to the world, just breath, you are living thing and connected to everything around you... and that makes you worth it... not pathetic... try hard to love yourself.
Good Luck and Stay Strong.
I hear alot of stories similar to yours, at AA meetings so just to let you know, it's not the end of the world. There is a rainbow out there in the world and it has your name on it ...but sobriety doesn't come easy. You have to work for it. It's extremely difficult doing it alone, especially in your case. This is why I recommended talking to your doctor he/she will be the first person to offer their hand in support and support is something you need alot of right now. You can get some here but I don't think it will be enough which is why I recommend AA meetings but talk to your doctor first and see what he/she say.
Please keep us posted because the path you take on your road to sobriety may help someone else.
In the meantime, we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless!
The only way I managed to get clear of psychological and physical dependence on alcohol was with a lot of help, addressing what had lead to that point, how to untangle the mess and how to move forward with a new 'modus operandi" and for me that route was through Alcoholics Anonymous. It was a challenge and I had to get to a point where the desire to be free of substance misuse was more important than the desire for numbing out with alcohol again. Funny how I could rarely see beyond picking up that first drink for so long, couldn't bring to mind (when I really needed to) the chaos and big downer that would inevitably follow. what you are feeling now can pass and there is plenty of help available through different options if you have enough desire to follow through. Best wishes to you.
Just over seven years ago I was in a similar place to where you are now but life today is completely different. One of my strongest memories from that period was the complete loss of hope for the future and a feeling that the downhill slide could never be reversed. With the right help it was possible to turn things around and there was no magic involved so the good news is that anyone can do the same.
It looks like you have become dependent on alcohol in order to deal with life and that when you change jobs etc. you may in fact be running away from yourself. Therefore, I would suggest that you need to first of all stop drinking and to then address those background issues that cause you to reach for the crutch of alcohol.
In order to recover from any problem it is necessary to first of all understand the exact nature of that problem. The nature of the alcohol problem is that it affects people in both the mind and the body but in different ways. The physical part is that the body develops an abnormal reaction to alcohol so that consuming a small amount such as one drink leads to a craving in the body for more. That is why one beer leads to many more and the more you drink the stronger the craving becomes, which makes it very difficult to stop. The good news is that you will never again experience this craving if you avoid taking the first drink.
The mental aspect of alcoholism is that drinking becomes an obsession. The person with the problem will usually be unaware that he or she has become obsessed with alcohol and will list all sorts of reasons to justify drinking. In order to recover from the problem it is often necessary to bring about a radical change in the way of thinking so that this obsession is removed.
You will see many solutions to the problem and different things work for different people. My advice to you is to go to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and to follow the AA suggestions. The first thing is to find a way to stop drinking and AA will be of immediate help to you on that front. After you have quit drinking and find your way around the meetings you can begin to look at the action that you need to take in order to change your way of thinking and remove the obsession for alcohol.
When a person falls into alcohol dependency the way of thinking goes wrong and it becomes easy to believe things that are not true. What is happening to you is not your fault and the world is not against you. There is hope for the future and you can go on to have a great life without alcohol. However, you need to make sobriety your top priority and to become willing to take action. You will see and hear many negative things but set your course and sail ahead with an open mind and you will reach a happy place.
Welcome!!!! So glad that you are here.
Just so you know I can totally relate to the nightmares/terrors. I had them all of my life from childhood. It is quite debilitating and mentally exhausting. Here for you....
Jen
Once alcohol has its grip on you, there's no easy answer or quick fix to get out of it. I'm still trying, myself. I had a bad relapse last night and am back on Day 1. Focus on the little improvements that you make, and that will help you build up hope. And, if you slip or stumble, don't lose that hope, try to focus on the positive steps you've made. Coming here, telling your story, and asking for help are all positive steps.
Try all the different tools/suggestions people here give you, and hopefully you'll find something that works for you. Aside from this support group, the Allen Carr book that BuckStag mentioned has been the biggest help for me.
Andrea's right - it has to be total abstinence. When we drink, we lose our inhibitions. So, the voice that would tell us to stop after 1 or 2 or 3 goes away. No matter how many times we tell ourselves "this time will be different", it never is. I'm still learning that lesson myself.
Come to this site often and keep reading & posting. We'll all help each other get through this one day at a time.
Well Eera, you do not have to feel hopeless. While AA may not be for everyone, most people I know who are sober got that way by going to a lot of AA meetings. Talk to your doctor before trying anything. You may need to go to a detox center first. Withdrawal from alcohol can kill you unless you do it in a detox center.
After detoxing I would try to get into a rehab center or get immediately into a AA meeting. Call the AA hotline or help line..... or go to AA.org for a meeting near you. Most cities have phone books and AA is listed in the yellow pages. Go to meetings..... listen.... I mean really listen. Get a sponsor to help you with the steps.
I wish you well as your trudge the path of a happy destiny.
Good Luck
Happy2.... by the way... I kind of know what I am talking about.. been sober over 33 years now.