Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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xmarkyx 03/10/2009

hi all not sure where to start im married and my wife has dropped the bombshell that she wants to call it a day we have a 9 month old son who i love to bits, we have been like this a few weeks now but tonight i was told and she has been to solicitors and sorted out some legal stuff my head is up my arse and my heart feels its been ripped out to be honest i dont love her its the insecurity im frightened of you know like im not knowing how its all gonna go etc ill lose the home everything i even felt so close to a drink but my HP stopped me and i know i did the right thing i picked the phone up i spoke to a dear friend tonight who really helped i then spoke to my sponsor as i dont really see him but he said tonight we will start to meet up more so that pleased me sorry if this is bit muddled my head is so confused but im sober this is so hard ive never dealt with anything like this especially sober in the past id drink and think sod it but now i have to deal with it sober but as my sponsor said i have a lot of good friends and genuine ones not drinking partners i just wanna scream

deleted_user 03/10/2009

here in houston we have 24hour aa clubs where you can go at any time. i don't know if you have such a thing but i suggest you stay close to both your meetings and your sober friends. don't isolate whatever you do.

deleted_user 03/10/2009

You CAN do this. You are NOT alone. Alcohol is a depressent. The last thing you need right now is a depressent in your body. First and foremost you have your relationship with your HP and yourself. Then you have that little baby that's counting on having a sober dad. We all know what it feels like to have no alternative but "the ease and comfort."

A bender right now could put you in way worse place...jail,,,not seeing your child, losing yourself.

Stay strong. Stay sober. Stay in touch!! loritoo

deleted_user 03/10/2009

Boy Jack Kerouac would be really proud of your stream of consciousness style and lack of punctuation :-)

I see you are in Hull my friend. If you ever fancied a bit of a break from it all, then we have a spare room in my house (which is a bit of a pig-sty I warn you). There are plenty of meetings here and I'm sure we could get you hooked up doing some 12 step work to take your mind of you for a while. Feel free to come down to sunny Cardiff.

In the meantime, I'd stay close to the fellowship and especially your sponsor. Prayer and meditationb are great for life crises.

deleted_user 03/10/2009

My wife left, with our son, on his second birthday. I was still drinking, and that was my bottom and when I started to get sober (with a couple brief relapses). I was terrified, I know how you feel!

You have a TREMENDOUS advantage that you're sober. If you drink, it's a good bet things will go very badly. Stay sober and anything is possible!

Today my son is thriving at age six, I have half custody, and the ex and I get along very well. It's better, and more, than I even was able to dream or wish for when she left.

Even though it looks bleak and scary right now, hang in there! God has many blessings He wants to give to you, your wife and your baby son!

God bless you!

Phil

deleted_user 03/10/2009

Man, that's tough, but at least you are sober, and believe you me, that makes a load of difference. I am sure things will sort out for the bes!! Good luck!!!
Lou.

Gr8ful 03/10/2009

Mark it was my wife telling me that our relationship was over that got me into the doors of AA. Not to get me sober but to get her back. Now to be honest it wasnt because I loved her that I wanted her back but because I didnt want to lose the cook, cleaner, baby sitter etc.

Then few more things happened and I started to like waking up without a hangover, I liked this sober life and thought will give it a go.

I was sober about 6 weeks when I moved out of home leaveing the wife and three kids that I worship behind.

Whilst apart my wife and I did something we had not done in years - we started to court again and I realised I loved this woman very much and that even though I was not drinking I was still lying to her and I changed my whole attitude towards her.

Nearly 7 years down the track I am still with her and the kids, we all fight like cat and dog but there is always forgiveness in the air now not the horribleness that was there in my cups.

Mark sometimes the space is needed to move foreward. I wish you the best

G8

xmarkyx 03/10/2009

hi thank you all for your kind words im really touched just how much love there is im amazed i came to this site and people genuinely care for one an other i dont believe any where you could get this and hey its free thank you

deleted_user 03/10/2009

I don't know if your wife will change her mind if you stay sober, however I can pretty much guarintee that if you drink she will stay away.
Shxt happens even in soberiety. I am sure you've already figured out your higher power is supplying you with material to use in a fourth or tenth step.

deleted_user 03/10/2009

marky-YOu are freaking out! You have no idea what the future will bring you, ok? NO IDEA! You may think all this crap will come true, and it scares the hell out of you-but I bet you none of what you think will happen will. And if it does-it won't be nearly as bad as you imagine it to be. Get out of the future my friend, you will never control it and trying to will cause your anxiety to go through the roof. You are faced with many challenges-look at what is in front of you right at this moment-not tommorow-right NOW and deal with that. Tommorow will take care of itself as long as you focus completely on right now. No booze today, for this moment, either.

JoeTex 03/10/2009

My wife left me and took the kids. I had visitation with them but lost that too because of my drinking. That is when I hit my bottom. It has taken a year of sobriety and alot of court dates and money just to get back day visits. I had my first overnight visit with the kids last weekend. Most of the pain and he absence from my children could have been avoided but I was not done drinking yet. If I would have stayed sober alot of this pain never would have happend. One of the saving graces I have had the last year was a wonderful group of sober people I have met at AA. I was like you at first but chose to drink. Thank drinking cost me thousands of dollars and a year with my kids. Make a good choice about this mate. Get to some meetings and work a good program. I dont know how things will turn out for you if you stay sober, but I know exactly how bad it can get if you drink.

deleted_user 03/10/2009

You can do it, just work with your sponsor, when my marriage of 18 yrs went to the dogs I didn't know wtf would happen, but life does change and it does get better. Sometimes GOD has better mates for us. Work the steps.

deleted_user 03/11/2009

so glad you made it through today sober! tomorrow you will be much better prepared to handle anything not having to wake up with the dread of having drunk the night before.

deleted_user 03/11/2009

Hey Markey, I'm really sorry to hear of your sad news. Drinking will make this worse dear. I know you know this but sometimes we have to hear it again & again.. I do! Get to an AA meeting asap. Know that this isn't your fault. It won't be easy to iron out but life isn't easy and never will be. Hang onto your faith and know that you offer wonderful support and friendship to others. You have been a very cherished friend to me and a blessing. I'm here for ya bro. xx

xmarkyx 03/11/2009

thank you all ive got a lot from all you advice the main thing that is getting through to me is i drink and it will be so much worse it certainly will not make the situation better. Today i woke up at 5am not a great night but i did get some sleep i went for a run as that makes me feel good about myself then showered shaved and some smellies on of to work soon im seeing i must just carry on to the best of my ability part of me is down cause im not running the show aymore at home my stomach is knotted cant eat at today thanks mark x

deleted_user 03/11/2009

Mark, I am so sorry that your personal life has taken this sad turn. I understand that horrible knot in the stomach feeling that stops us from eating but maybe try to get some kind of liquid food into your body - Lucozade or Nurishment or something just so you can keep your energy level up a bit.

I guess the only thing that you can do in this situation is to stay sober, recover and be the best Dad you can be and even the best 'ex' you can be if it comes to that. Stay close with your AA friends and you will be ok. Maintain your prayer and meditation life even though it feels hard and you will survive this and grow from it.

In the meantime, for today, look after yourself and work all the more with others.

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