Sorry about the subject line typo. I meant to say “ family intervention? Referral for a detox center?”

I am in Southern California. People in my AA group have gotten sober at Hoag hospital. My sponsor was killing himself and he was put in ther after a bad bender and came out sober. He’s 11 years sober today.

@jeffneedshelp: Thank you so much for sharing this info with me. It's so encouraging to hear about the positive outcome. Thanks!

The idea behind an intervention is to force the alcoholic to hit his "low" much faster then he would without the help of family. You need to find an interventionist you can help with that.

I hit my low when I lost everything, my job, my spouse, and my finances were in shambles and eventually, my wife kicked me out of my own home and since I had no place to go, she called the police who gave me the choice of jail or detox so I got a police escort to the hospital. That was the defining moment in my life which started me on the road to recovery.

That was 10 years ago. Today, I have a great life and although my wife is now my ex wife, we are the best of friends who support one another in our separate lives. We laugh at the past but we realized if events never happened the way they unfolded, I might not be here to tell this story.

We will keep you and your brother in our thoughts and prayers. Good luck with the intervention.

God Bless

I've been support for my boss whose wife hit rock bottom. He had to threaten her with divorce and taking the kids, which woke her up a bit. She agreed to living in a center for about a month, but she made some unhealthy relationships there who persuaded her to believing her addiction was her husband's fault (this is in the Kansas City area, so no worries about your brother experiencing that not-so-great treatment center). Her personal therapist is now helping her recover from that as well, and the blow device on her car has caused her to have to be sober if she wants her independence. Without that device, my boss thinks she'd be passing out getting into more wrecks. I hope you and your family get the support you need to go through this. So tough on the family, as I'm sure you know. Wishing your brother success in breaking free from his addiction.

Thank you for sharing this insight. Yes, we have concerns on which treatment center to send. And, how to find a reputable interventionist. My brother thinks he can manage alchohol himself. On this New Year Eve family gathering, everyone smelled his alcohol. He put on a fake smile at dinner and his entire body language and comprehension is off. It gave me heart ache when I saw him across dinner table. My dad is old and in wheel chair. My bro was very careless in helping our dad in/out the car. We all ran up to help. My bro then got angry with us and said he got it. Insisting us leaving them alone. I fear my dad’s safety... around my bro.

He denied his drinking. We found a 750 ml tequilas in his room w 1/5 gone gone. He then just shrug his shoulders when confronted.

He said he needed space and none of us gives him any.

Our goal is to get him to sober state first before we engage him in meaningful conv.

I don’t know when we will get there.

Thanks for letting me rant here. It is just the first hour of 2018. I m stressed for him.

Curious to know... how do we help some one who has gone thru several rock bottoms and still have relapse?

How do we find a suitable professional to help him. Looking for one that will provide strong follow thru.

If the trigger for my bro is that he does not know how to handle uncomfortable situation or new environment, do we increase his trigger by confronting his drinking issue head on or asking him to go to AA? AA group will be a new setting for him...so he drinks when he is asked to consider to go?

I pray and sincerely hope a God’s grace will guide us through this journey. Hope my bro is not too far gone...

“Several rock bottoms.”

This appears to be in your eyes, not his.

Your rock bottom is the dealbreaker with alcohol. It doesn’t sound like hers there yet.

I see...it makes sense.

However, if his mental capacity is diminishing as he seems to be okay all these rock bottoms, when/how will he be able to declare “ enough”?

He has been in/out hospitals several times, has developed adult diabete, has lost jobs recently twice, has been confronted w drinking problems head on, has “alchohol” as his only friend now, etc. We removed his driver license because we don’t want him to endanger others. We just took away his car keys last night. He does not seem to be sobering up. He expresses that he is suffocating at home and has no freedom/no trust. Drinking is his pleasure.

He may one day has permanent kidney failure or lose a leg as his diabetic may get worse. He seems to lost his ability to comprehend the consequences. Yes, death may be his only outcome of rock bottoms. We can continue to watch how this plays out. We question ourselves...every day... how we could help what has left of the good him to be strong enough to realize he wants help.

Holiday break is almost over. I wonder if I should change my whole life and move closer to home to help my parents in dealing w the situation. I keep pray for God’s guidance...

I really believe that Alanon would help you better deal with it:

https://al-anon.org/

You can google meetings in your area.

God Bless

Thinking of you. I agree alanon would be good. He may take alcohol to one of two places: insanity or death.